#disappointments
The pinkish glow stretched across the sky,
painting the result from last night
streaking yellow, orange, hints of red
creeping in at six
in late April
in the light blue sky,
I saw from the open window.
A breeze blew the worries
of what if?
springing up flowers,
Shying away
My eyes slowly opened,
forced to confront
The ice was built from the shift-
last night standing
for hours straight
Whispers filled in behind.
“This is not for you”
Despite the soft bundles
of new life
where life had started
Mine had ended
at the workstation
tears coined together,
spun around in my eyes
out of my body,
I walked away
let them fall outside
looked up at the sky
lasted a year
The tears dried
crushed my dreams
through the cracks in the mirror
I confronted me
And opened a new chapter.
May 6
May 6, 2026 at 11:27 AM UTC
Through alcohol my words I stutter
So what if I've turned to another
Vice, don't look twice
On our mistakes, we were meant to break.
And I wish I could still please you
But now I look through
Our veils of betrayal and disappointments
Do you think we can still make amends?
Wish I'd been enough
Wish I didn't catch you laugh
On my pain
Can you handle the blame?
Nov 11, 2024
Nov 11, 2024 at 8:23 PM UTC
How did we settle for so little?
When did we migrate back
to the sea floor?
At one point I saw
our last days as children,
at one point I saw starfish
shored against the ruins,
drowning in ten directions.
In the empty space
we used to breathe,
something other than remaining:
a life in tides less current.
Feb 23, 2023
Feb 23, 2023 at 6:23 PM UTC
Failure hurts, no doubt
Especially when you are in Recruitment
A profession which depends on people
As much as India used to depend on Sachin Tendulkar
In the late nineties
But you know what hurts more than failure?
Imagine a T20 match
Where your team has dominated
From start to finish
And still managed to end up on the losing side
Due to a couple of bad *****
From your best bowler
In the very last over
Now, apply the same analogy to Recruitment
You have put your heart and soul
Into a particular mandate
Done a thorough search, through various portals
Called up as many candidates as possible
Presented quality profiles to the client
And lined up interviews one after the other
Everything has been worked out
To the tiniest detail
However, at the eleventh hour
The candidate backs out
Thus, you have no choice
But to start all over again
And this happens not once
Not twice
Not even thrice
But a frigging four times
However, you are no ordinary recruiter
You are a recruiter who possesses the heart of a lion
Thus, you prepare yourself for the long haul
Determined to do whatever it takes
To close this mandate, once and for all
And your efforts do pay off
Or at least, they seem to
For the client, it is a choice
Between two worthy candidates
However, as always, there is a hitch
One of the candidates has started showing signs of cold feet
While the other has to take a pay cut
That too a big one
This mandate now hangs on a knife-edge
So, it is not failure that hurts the most
But coming within an inch of success
After months of hard work
Only to have it slip through your fingers
At the very last minute
Jan 4, 2023
Jan 4, 2023 at 11:30 PM UTC
You have no idea
Absolutely no idea
About the amount of work
That goes into closing a position
Especially if it is an Investment Banking role
Scouring portal after portal
In order to hunt down the right candidates
Making call after call
And subsequently facing rejection after rejection
However, as we all know
"There is always light at the end of the tunnel"
So, you somehow find a way
Yo snag some decent candidates
Who may not be "perfect"
But fit the role well, nevertheless
When the closure ultimately happens
You heave a huge sigh of relief
Knowing that your hard work has paid off
However, there is a twist in the tale
The candidate receives another offer
Which turns out to be more lucrative
Than the one provided by your client
And he gladly takes it
Therefore, you are back to square one
Of course, backouts are common nowadays
So, you work harder than ever
Determined to turn things around
And your efforts are duly rewarded
However, just when you are sure
That nothing can go wrong this time
The candidate develops cold feet
And chooses to stay in his present company instead
Boom! Just like that
Your hard work has gone down the drain, yet again
But you refuse to give up
Believing that it will turn out to be a case of "third time lucky"
However, as always, you are wrong
This time, the candidate is genuinely interested
But the client is too stingy
Thus pushing the candidate towards taking up a better offer
And you are left in the lurch, as ever
The only difference being
That this time, there will be no comeback
Oct 21, 2022
Oct 21, 2022 at 9:03 AM UTC
I take 3 steps forward, and 1 step back .
I was sober almost 4 months.
Doing swell, the job, prolific writing.
and then, wham, A bottle of Absinthe in two hours,
Not even Van Gogh on the box or the worm wood could
make sense of the garbled words I wrote.
**** Hemingway and Fitzgerald. And Stein can go to Hell.
Aug 25, 2021
Aug 25, 2021 at 9:24 PM UTC
What is life
Just an L letter to me
Yet here I am breathing like its where I belong
Living today at my best
Worried about tomorrow and the falls that will come along
I’m unaware of so many things that I let slip away from my sight
That’s why I lost my way home
To the woman I love and my family and friends
Like I have to wait for the stars to point North again for me to use my compass direction
Somehow make it home
I hope it’s not too late to apologize to those I wronged
Those I left with open wounds that never closed
I hope I pay off the debts that took me on run
That I become the son my parents will be proud of when I walk in the crowd
I hope all goes well with my soul that along the way never comes dust to take away its purity
I hope my face will still be in shape for them to recognize me as their own
I have no birthmark but I guess mum will know it’s her son when she holds me in her arms again
I hope my future is built on trust and truth for I promise to leave the lies in the past
Maybe then I will understand what life is
After it's done putting scars on my skin
Oct 29, 2020
Oct 29, 2020 at 4:42 AM UTC
Disappointments... Nothing new to me
As befriended me since age small
Along with me still though grown tall
Packed so tight as priceless trove
As taught lessons so complete each time
To face all odds and walk ahead...
To disappoint all disappointments !!
Jul 31, 2020
Jul 31, 2020 at 8:47 PM UTC
The words won't come out right
My feelings making my heart tight
I wish I can somehow get through you
If you only had the slightest clue
I cried behind your back
In agony, as you tear up my soul
I loved you even harder
Even when I looked like a fool
I never counted the things I did for you
But ******* I wish you knew
How much it cost me
To love you unconditionally
May 13, 2020
May 13, 2020 at 9:08 AM UTC
I've been sick for almost a week .
Everything around me seem so inverted .
This bed and my body started to stink of rotten flesh .
And thoughts disappointments made me more miserable .
YES ! I am disappointed
And this disappointment is like a illness
This time it sits inside me .
I didn't get it by my expectations .
I had buried them long ago .
Why did you tainted that beautiful
Fragrance we had .
You've failed in every area to keep my emotions treasured .
At the end ,it is what it is .
And I am getting my pockets full of disappointments without even expecting .
Just because we smile together , doesn't mean I am happy .
Everytime i try to get closer ,
Feel that feeling of pisthurism ...
Do you know what I smell ?
Burning faith .
May 5, 2020
May 5, 2020 at 2:54 PM UTC
There once was a man who
Thought he was a man but
He wasn't a man
He was a...
Oct 25, 2019
Oct 25, 2019 at 3:26 PM UTC
Her dreams to cherish,
Her disappointments to tell;
If Nature had words.
Aug 15, 2019
Aug 15, 2019 at 6:59 PM UTC
Heartbreak and disappointment
dimmed by the laughter that escapes
and jokes that are made
letting me escape
the aching pain.
Forming a defence of
flowing endorphins
preventing it from sinking deeper.
Although I am sure by night
I would be a weeper.
Which is alright,
pain and disappointments
are a part of life
there is no harm to feel,
to acknowledge to heal.
But one must not dwell
for it is a part of a
better plan that
awaits for ones fate.
Jul 24, 2019
Jul 24, 2019 at 12:10 PM UTC
False hope rolls my way.
Trust; For me, a rarity.
Please don't let me down.
May 17, 2019
May 17, 2019 at 12:16 PM UTC
I tried to hide how much it hurts.
The Disappointments.
The Insecurities.
The Failures.
But the pain crept up my throat.
I tried to hide how much it hurts,
tried to hide it from the world;
but the instant I turned the **** to my own chamber,
I couldn’t hold back the pain any longer.
Apr 17, 2019
Apr 17, 2019 at 3:07 PM UTC
Disappointments are like
baby tooth:
they teach you to smile
when you are still weak
but make room for
something stronger
as soon as you
are ready.
Jan 29, 2019
Jan 29, 2019 at 2:31 PM UTC
Was it
The floating black clouds?
Or the passing fresh breeze?
Maybe was it the roaring wind
Along with
The flaming old-gold color sun?
Yet it sure was the splattering cold rain,
I often caught in his glance
That could describe him and his pain.
His hair was careless
His behavior reckless
But his eyes hopeless
And his kiss tasteless.
The world’s illusions
Submerged people into confusion,
Deluding him who often had hope
To cope
With love and living.
But as all the things breathing
It too dies with the moments
Leaving people in all kinds of disappointments.
Nov 26, 2018
Nov 26, 2018 at 6:24 PM UTC
And of course, promises can't be kept.
They never do.
And I never learn.
Mar 19, 2018
Mar 19, 2018 at 4:25 AM UTC
Did you ever did your best?
And hopes that it will do the rest
To hope for something,
To start believing
That you can and you will
That this time it's real
Start every day with bravery
And ends it with victory
But oh, why this happened?
Where are the efforts you send?
It flown away into the wilderness of nowhere
Where are the time you borrowed
To pay the success of tomorrow
Where are the hopes you hope for?
Are they now the predators who roar?
The beast named failure choke your dreams
Once symphony, now screams
Bravery, victory; where are they?
Only pain and cries today
This is not how it supposed to be
But it's exactly what transpire in me
And so to lower the dose of pain, I'd tell you
Lower the expectancy rate too.
Feb 16, 2018
Feb 16, 2018 at 8:56 PM UTC
19 | 31 Poems for August 2017
I can never make you love me no matter what I say or do.
Disappointments seem to be the foundation of my progress.
I’m gradually beginning to realise that success is a slow process.
I dislike how you tend to forget about me during some nights when you’re drinking wine.
I gave you honesty and honestly speaking, going back-and-forth with you is exhausting me.
Over the years, our friendship has been tainted by rumours that everyone knows except for us.
There may have been some chemistry between us that we both chose to blatantly ignore.
I wrote many of my poems in Braille for the kind of love I was desperately longing to feel from you.
I’m still falling for you, and my words are revealing so that’s why you’ll know that this poem is about you.
I find it hard walking away from a woman whose arms I have always wanted to run into.
What should I do now with the love that I have always wanted to give to you?
All I’m asking for is you, and I can’t bear the thought of someone else being next to you.
I’m jealous and I know that I will probably be the last one to ever admit it.
I’m a lover without a lover but never loveless, so what am I supposed to do?
Aug 19, 2017
Aug 19, 2017 at 2:02 PM UTC
if i remember correctly,
you wrote a manual on how to swim
in this sea of disappointments
wading my way on above-me water *****
the energy, the life, the sureness out of me
**** this pressure everyone puts around me
i am naked under currents; don't peak
the water had been dyed pitch black now
the color of doubts
in their eyes they stitch words on my skin
capital letters p, e, r, f, e, c, and t
they decorate me like a diy existence
if i remember correctly,
you wrote a manual on how to drown suffocating-deep into one's sweetest dream
give it to me now
Jul 11, 2017
Jul 11, 2017 at 12:00 PM UTC
The greatest thing in life I've ever heard
Is when you said to me it doesn't hurt
to take the chances life throws your way
Now however, I have found my self
surrounded by stones in the city
Life refused to give me the chances I want to keep
so I keep running away to hide from everything
I don't like where I am right here right now
I took the wrong turn on my way up
Please stop telling me this is for me
I didn't even know who I would be
One minute I was there
The next minute I'm here
between here and there
I think I've lost everything.
Correct me if I'm wrong but was this a dream?
I saw a shadow pass up the stream
Her torch was burning bright like the Eternal flame
She said "come this way a better life awaits"
But like all the shadows her words were weightless
And the flames became stone-like and lightless.
Jun 1, 2017
Jun 1, 2017 at 12:30 PM UTC