#disabled
Disabilities.
They come in many a form,
ranging from wheelchairs
hospital beds,
to comprehension
mind damaged more than the body.
In both these categories I lay.
I am heard
but not listened to.
Will you truly understand
the struggles I bear?
from the ripe age of eight
perhaps younger
my empties left scrambled
surgery after surgery
medication packets, scattered
another failed treatment.
From the ripe age of eight,
wishing I was normal.
Another day off school
Another needle
Another seizure
Another broken promise.
At the drained age of fourteen,
rotting in a bedroom
laced with monitors
wishing to be normal.
Wishing I didn't have seizures
wishing I wasn't underweight
wishing this stoma never existed
Wishing I could enjoy life
like my peers
and be normal.
Mar 1
Mar 1, 2026 at 6:16 AM UTC
there is a man
for everyone to see
who suffers
all the bluff and bluster
the world can muster
but behind those eyes
there is a child
scared and alone
fighting battles
waging wars
without the weapons
to win the cause
Feb 23
Feb 23, 2026 at 5:51 PM UTC
10 spoons
Only 10 to last the day
My parents forget that
They forget i only have 10
1 for doing homework
2 for doing an exam
3 for the school day
4 for socialising
…
Thats it
My 10 are gone
Yet i have to keep going
6 for chores
7 for arguments
10 for crying in the shower
And now i have -33
And when i wake up
I have -23
And the day after
-13 and finally
-3 till i have my 10 back
But every day i get more and more
My parents forget that
I only have 10
And now im in -198
And its only been 2 weeks
My parents forget
Im different
Im disabled
Im …
weird?
Nov 11, 2025
Nov 11, 2025 at 4:09 AM UTC
Sorry ever sorry -
I struggle with your pace,
i'm wavering by lunch o'clock,
and stumbling 'bout the place,
sorry ever sorry -
I fumble through my thoughts,
my thinkin' takes two second more,
my brain feels two ounce short,
sorry ever sorry -
if my circuits should pop,
wading through tears this 'mornin,
then founded like a rock,
sorry I am sorry -
'cuz I love - "What I is",
'an if you think I'm flawful,
you 'aint no right to ****
sorry I am sorry -
I kind'a dig this mess,
it dun't grow without brambles,
adds charm if I must 'fess,
Sorry I am sorry -
for "moi" is all I get,
gets feral in this overgrowth,
'em snarls know no regret.
Nov 4, 2025
Nov 4, 2025 at 12:27 PM UTC
Who am I?
Well, who are you?
Standing there
Telling me what to do
Forgive my stare
Its just that I can tell
What you're here to sell
Is not the truth
Who I am
Who I am to you
And the difference between the two
One is real,
But the other is easier to chew
Sep 26, 2025
Sep 26, 2025 at 5:20 PM UTC
"You're not a monster," she said from two and a half feet away, across the table. And as those four words exited her mouth, it was like I could see them coming for my absorption like a dagger I had to receive. They arched up in the shape of a rainbow, over her bowl of pad Thai, over 3 remaining coconut shrimp, past both Thai iced teas, dipping down over my panang and fell down inside of my ears.
I heard them.
Quicker than sound, my eyes dropped down, staring at my bowl instead of letting anyone see that I was about to cry. Where does all of that water come from so quickly anyways? It's like my body just decides to pull any water from any cell within. My own body takes from its own inside life to put on the outside so other life can see how I'm hurting inside. Those tears were stolen by a force I can't control to put my thoughts on display. It's twisted when you think about it that way.
Even if I were a monster, I would still be worthy of love and protection. Just recently I was at the optometrist and described my ears like the creature from goonies, and to adjust my glasses accordingly, please. She quickly reminded me that my uneven ears were normal and beautiful. Not just with words, with her hands touching my ears. She could probably smell the anxiety I exude, and chose to change the mood.
That was her choice.
Everyone has that choice. I know I'm a broken human, I'm as broken as the sunflowers in the picture. They don't look broken but two weeks after I took that photograph, they were all dug up and thrown away by the people that own that land. I just have to hope that some of their seeds fell during that removal so that they have an unexpectedly marvelous rebirth. I hope.
I know I'm not a monster, I've lived a life of service to others. Even my enemies don't have much meat inside the beef they have for me, it's mostly just my personality... which is light enough to crumble into a powder and be blown away by the wind. I've given away everything that I am. I've given love to people who didn't ask for it, I've given my best love to strangers, my longest and strongest love to family.
I'm not a monster. I just have a configuration that is unpopular.
Aug 3, 2025
Aug 3, 2025 at 10:05 PM UTC
I am impulsive
I am strange
Lying in the bed I made
I am anxious
I am loud
I won't make my parents proud
I am restless
I am tired
I'm not one to be admired
I am obnoxious
I am trite
Burning bridges keep me warm at night
I am indecisive
I am sure
Enjoying what I haven't earned
I am curious
I am afraid
Cleaning up a mess I made
I am grateful
If I am at all
I have no regrets that aren't absolved
Jun 28, 2025
Jun 28, 2025 at 1:16 AM UTC
Empathy in this world
Is what we need
Empathy is what we should breathe
I sit here at night
And i cry
I ask god why!?
Why?
People are fighting
For their rights,
yet they're being called
Evil and spies
Watching their families
Screaming goodbye
Yet the people watching the news
Screaming they're the bad few
They're the evil of the world..
Empathy needs to be cured.
It breaks my heart
And it should break yours
The state of this world
The state of the people
So much suffering
So much pain
But they only care about
All of their gain,
Billionaires
And fame
It's getting darker
more cruel
It's hard to ignore
But what can i do?
I'm one of the weak few
The disabled
The poor
A women
Crying at your door
What can i do?
What can any of us do?
Stand and scream
Have an epiphany
Fight for what's right
Burn the senate down
Take away his crown
But in reality
Will standing and screaming work?
Or will we all just go berserk?
Fighting for what's right,
While being told we're wrong
Til we're all gone..
But we belong!
We aren't doing wrong
We are the weak but also
The strong
We will stand
We will give a helping hand
It's all we can do,
To keep empathy around
Jun 10, 2025
Jun 10, 2025 at 2:46 PM UTC
I hate myself
But that's okay
I'll like myself better
Another day
I don't have to hope
I know
With me
That's just how it goes
Just like a stray
I won't always show my face
Give it time
I'll be fine
I know my ways
It always pays
To give me space
It's best to let me go-
at my own pace
I'll come back if it's right
If it's worth the fight
I know my wobbly heart
Would pick it apart
Trying to find the art
If it's worth it
It will hard
And maybe if I'm lucky
It might leave a you shaped scar
Apr 29, 2025
Apr 29, 2025 at 3:26 AM UTC
I dont wanna turn 18
I don't wanna watch
As all my dreams
Fade and fall
Into the dark
I don't wanna turn 18
Because i know
That once I do
I have to deal with everything
And even more
With the thought of losing
You
I know that once I turn 18
Everything that is easy
Is gonna become
So much
Harder
I have to apply
To get money
Just to survive
I have to beg my mom
To pay
For me to get help
Cuz otherwise
I'm stuck here for life
With no one
To take care
Of me
I have to deal
With the possibility
That I can't receive help
Or funds
And I just become stuck
And i have to deal
With the thought
That if you leave too
I'll become lost
And gross
Because I can't even shower
Or go out anywhere
If you do
If i do receive the supports
That i need
I have to apply
For so many things
A service dog
Money cuz i cant get a job
A careworker
And a friend or two
Because nobody simply
Just wants to be friends
With you when you're this broken
I don't wanna turn 18
Even though
There's more things I
Have access to
Sure I can now
Buy ****
And alcohol
And consume it legally
But I might fall on those
As addictions
Not once in awhile
Supplements
For fun
I'm spending my birthday with
YOU
And I'm happy to
Because I'm happy with
The things we do
But I fear
That may be
The last day
You see me smile
Or even breath
And if I survive
It may be awhile
Before I can truly
Say
That I'm
ALIVE
Dec 1, 2024
Dec 1, 2024 at 10:27 AM UTC
Sometimes I just want to be normal
I want to stroll over to the pub
And chat to a guy I know
And when I want to leave
I shall go
I shall walk out into the sunlight
Stretch my back and get into my car
Put on my music loud
And drive as fast I can
As fast I’m allowed
It will take twenty minutes or so
To reach the station in time
I park and watch a disabled guy
Limp to the ticket machine
I thank my lucky stars
That it’s him
Instead of me
You see me as you leave the train
You smile in that familiar way
Demure and kind of formal
A smile that a wife
Would give to a husband
If he was normal
Yeah, normal is what I’d like to be
Nothing special, just as before
A man who could hold his head high
A man who could sing with The Beatles
Tell me why
Nov 27, 2023
Nov 27, 2023 at 1:34 PM UTC
Disabled people
evolve, as human beings --
they become braver.
Jul 17, 2023
Jul 17, 2023 at 2:37 AM UTC
I seem to have aged twenty years over the last two
especially since turning seventy - a personal view.
From the outbreak of the ****** virus two years ago
there's been a gradual decline in health for this I know.
Although testing negative in the last week of November
other health issues have been cropping up in December.
I somehow think that my time may be coming around
for where the body is to be laid to rest in the ground.
Morbid thoughts such as the above are dominant today
and with some people they don't easily just go away.
In my particular case my right side has been affected
and hobble around like some disabled person detected.
I wonder how long it'll be before I won't be able to cope
with doing all of those various things that range in scope
from washing and cleaning to the other domestic chores
which need to be done on a regular basis and time scores.
Unless I can afford to pay for someone to help with it all
if circumstances don't improve and my back's to the wall
I may have to consider going into an old people's home
or in some place where you're restricted to freely roam.
Another possibility would be to invite someone else in
that's compatible to shack up with and share the 'load-in'
or even perhaps the other way around that is practical
without being negative and deemed unjustly skeptical.
Someone in whom similar interests and ideals are found
all those things that are decent, life enhancing and sound.
Already it's getting to the stage when I'll need to cut my hair
something I used to be able to do by myself in the past there
but now I can barely raise my right hand up to my head
and the whole thing is a procedure I'm beginning to dread.
-------------------
As everybody gets older and experiences the change
they may notice their movements are becoming restricted in range.
_____________________
Apr 7, 2023
Apr 7, 2023 at 5:52 AM UTC
physically I have no symmetry
and it doesn’t even bother me
my physical state is electrical
and internally I am symmetrical
a love so big it's my counterpart
symmetrically matching my flesh parts
an existence created as a work of art
able to outsmart any black heart
understanding this duality
is the best of you loving the best of me
and I believe you will get there eventually
to your own symmetrical mentality
Jan 22, 2022
Jan 22, 2022 at 7:16 PM UTC
Did you know I like to dance?
You do not, I’m sure.
For how can a person who can’t even walk
dream of something bolder?
But I love how my muscles breathe
and how my soul flows
when I spread my arms and
let myself go.
I like to let my arms become the limbs of a willow,
let my legs become the wings of a bird,
let my body become the stream flowing towards a river,
let my soul be taken to the free sea
Life has placed me into a small glass
barred from the outside ocean that promises freedom.
I could only watch through the transparent veil
while my flesh bound me to the ground.
But one day I’ll fly, I know it
I feel it in my blood.
One day the glass will shatter
and I’ll dissolve into bubbles
unchained from pain.
Mar 31, 2021
Mar 31, 2021 at 3:23 PM UTC
“He sat in a wheeled chair, waiting for dark,
And shivered in his ghastly suit of grey,
Legless, sewn short at elbow. Through the park
Voices of boys rang saddening like a hymn,
Voices of play and pleasure after day,
Till gathering sleep had mothered them from him.
About this time Town used to swing so gay
When glow-lamps budded in the light-blue trees
And girls glanced lovelier as the air grew dim,
—In the old times, before he threw away his knees.
Now he will never feel again how slim
Girls' waists are, or how warm their subtle hands,
All of them touch him like some queer disease.”
Jul 9, 2020
Jul 9, 2020 at 1:23 AM UTC
Your like, look at the bloke with no legs,
I be like, I can run faster than you mouth.
Yes I many be stumpy and do these shorts
look big on me, but I'll never be shorter
than your short mindedness.
Running your gob like your mouth,
matches your shoesize.
Dam why would you even admit that..
well I haven't got height but boy I have length
not like you...
Do you shop at baby gap for then tiny toes,
I'll always be higher than those belittling
others.
for there short term gratitude.
My strength isn't vertical,
its that I can stand taller
than all the misgivings that others
stigma me with.
Before they realise the truth,
that is I can see a lot
more truth than you can,
the taller they are the more noise
they make when they fall.
Feb 8, 2020
Feb 8, 2020 at 11:25 AM UTC
So I was taking lil Tyler to school
and I got to meet one of his friends!
Tyler was so excited to introduce me to him,
but that poor little babe!
He was in a wheelchair!
Bless my son's heart for looking past this kid's...
um....
Well you know it takes a special kid to have a crippled friend!
Wait
I mean
Not special! My son is not special
No, wait, I mean he ain't SPECIAL special
You know?
Anyways, so I met his friend and I'm not quite sure what to do here
I say
HELLO I AM TYLER'S MAMA
and this little kid looks me dead in the eyes and told me
"Hello ma'am, there's no need to yell"
I was in awe
He didn't sound handicapped at all!
I mean I didn't know if he would be able to understand me
But he did!
Who would have thought a wheelchaired kid
could speak and think just like any other kid who wasn't gimpy!
I am just so so proud of my son
for looking past this poor victim of
um...
deformities...
Cuz you know it's probably good for the disabled
to have a regular normal friend like my son!
Hopefully my son can make that kid happy
you know since people like that usually have such sad lives.
Golly I am just so proud of my son for taking pity on that kid!
I am such a good mother!
Jan 17, 2020
Jan 17, 2020 at 11:15 AM UTC
When did your symptoms start?
Listen doc, it's a funny story
I thought those 'symptoms' were normal
they've been here since I can remember
The question you should be asking is
when did I realize the symptoms were a problem?
When did you realize the symptoms were a problem?
I'm not fully convinced all of them are so bad
yeah I could do without the pain
but what you call my disability
I call my special abilities
Who else do you know can tell the weather with their body?
When did the pain start?
pfft I'm not sure
It started out so quiet
and then began to grow
as time goes by
I begin to realize that the pain
is the only constant in my life
but don't worry Doc
it only hurts when I'm awake
Jan 7, 2020
Jan 7, 2020 at 6:13 PM UTC
Oh wow lookie there!
What a marvelous creature
If you look closely over there you'll be able to see it
a wild hidden disability!
Usually they are invisible to the untrained eye
But I, Stene Irwiv will show you how you can sometimes spot them!
Now all of them look different, but here are a few examples.
See that buddy over there? I've been watching over this lad for a while now
Notice how he walks slowly almost like a waddle?
He also stops to rest more often than the usual guy
He's not lazy! just sore.
Make sure to be careful and don't touch him unexpectedly!
See my friend here has Fibromyalgia, it causes widespread chronic pain.
It can also cause migraines, mood swings, and memory issues
but remember, since these symptoms are usually invisible on the surface
this disability is often overlooked or even called fake by strangers,
but also doctors! ******
This next one is a doozy
my mate right here looks pretty average on first glance,
but if you look closer you might be able to spot what makes her so special.
This lovely lady right here has Ehlers Danlos Syndrome.
Because of the defect in her collagen,
her skin and ligaments are unusually stretchy.
if you were to touch her skin you might feel that it is very soft and fragile
and when she stands you might see her knees and other joints bend back farther that usual.
She's not just 'double jointed' though,
because of the stretchy ligaments, she and others with EDS are at risk of joint dislocations and chronic pain everyday!
EDS doesn't just cause pain though,
it can also increases a person's risk of ***** rupture or heart problems!
Double ******
Remember though, these disabilities can't always be seen
so don't judge people prematurely.
You see, the person you think is lazy for sitting in the handicapped seats on the bus,
or maybe the person parked in a handicapped spot who appears to be fine,
or even just the people walking down the street,
any one of them might have an invisible disability.
but just because they are invisible, that doesn't mean they aren't real.
I hope you all enjoyed the show.
I'm Stene Irwiv, and this has been Chronic Illness Hunter.
Jan 7, 2020
Jan 7, 2020 at 12:29 PM UTC
Mama always said my body is a temple but if this is a temple then I never want to worship again
I was born into this temple with the foundation already cracked
The ceilings are caving in
The floor boards wail in pain even with the most gentle of steps
I reach for the handle of the front door to get out but the hinges crack and break leaving nothing but agony in my wake
the widow screen is ripped and the wires are sticking out
the glass is either in shards gripping to the windowsill or in a pile on the floor
I can’t get out of this **** temple but staying here is killing me
Temples are meant for praising God but I only want to curse him for trapping me here
I wish I could tear down this place buts its already doing a pretty good job of doing that on its own.
Let me out of this **** temple.
Jan 5, 2020
Jan 5, 2020 at 2:03 PM UTC
I wake up to an alarm set ten minutes before I need to get up because I never know how long it will take me to get out of bed.
My leg is asleep because at some point in the night my hip did the hokey pokey and turned itself around right out of its socket
But hey, my joint problems make me cool because like a transformer I bend and expand putting my joints back into their place.
See I'm like a cheap Halloween decoration,
Because my skeleton is falling apart at the seams
and if that's not bad enough, the only person it's scaring is me.
Jan 3, 2020
Jan 3, 2020 at 4:11 PM UTC