#df
why should i wake?
only to make my bed.
cleanse my body.
eat without taste.
work myself to the bone.
be overlooked day in and day out.
grieving the loss of what was never there?
where are my answers?
no.
where is my will to live?
Sep 24, 2020
Sep 24, 2020 at 7:42 PM UTC
i stand with arms wide open, ready to welcome you home.
and there you are
running, running, running,
to the one that has no arms for you.
Aug 4, 2020
Aug 4, 2020 at 7:45 PM UTC
i'm sorry i broke your heart
before you could b r e a k mine.
Jul 11, 2020
Jul 11, 2020 at 9:16 AM UTC
with you,
i was constantly looking over my shoulder,
waiting for you
to catch up on our love.
Jul 10, 2020
Jul 10, 2020 at 12:19 PM UTC
in case i didn’t make it clear enough when i died for you.
i love you.
and that right there.
your ignorance,
nailed my c o f f i n.
Jul 6, 2020
Jul 6, 2020 at 2:57 PM UTC
i didn't love you.
not then and not now.
i loved the idea of what we could be, together.
somehow we'd be the ones to defy the odds.
but now? what i wish the most is to free myself from the illusion that we could ever work.
this is the end of the impossibility of us that lingers.
Jul 6, 2020
Jul 6, 2020 at 2:45 PM UTC
i don’t care to find love.
not in this world.
not where promises are b o r n to die.
Apr 5, 2020
Apr 5, 2020 at 5:32 PM UTC
when the dark skies were here
the words wrote themselves
from the blood pouring from my veins.
now the blue skies are here,
the hot days are now,
as a result the blood has dried up.
the words have gone with the clouds
maybe this is the time to focus on the blue skies
and not the gray skies that once were.
Jul 16, 2019
Jul 16, 2019 at 4:28 PM UTC
call me selfish
i'll be too dead to care.
i burned for everyone i could,
i tried to be the
l i g h t
of their life.
eventually i started to
f l i c k e r,
my wick disintegrated
and i burnt out.
my
f a i t h
saved me time and time again.
my
g o d
is perfect and kind and loving and forgiving.
my god knows i tried, i
f o u g h t.
but somehow after everything, my brain has gone.
where did it go?
i wish i knew.
so now i must go find it.
now i must
g o.
Mar 10, 2019
Mar 10, 2019 at 11:12 PM UTC
i sip away my tears
that have landed
in my watered down
tea.
the strength it once held
no longer holds me
captive.
Feb 20, 2019
Feb 20, 2019 at 1:15 PM UTC
you sit with me in my silence.
and that means more to me
than
roses and chocolate.
Feb 13, 2019
Feb 13, 2019 at 6:37 PM UTC
light me on fire.
i want to burn in your love.
Feb 6, 2019
Feb 6, 2019 at 6:53 PM UTC
love of mine, forgive me.
i wanted you all for myself,
and i kept you when you weren’t mine to keep.
here we are.
i look at you with hope, while you’ve stopped looking at me.
so just take me whole.
drown me.
rid yourself of me.
be free. be happy. be yours.
you were never mine to begin with,
i was simply a foolish soul trying to conquer the ocean.
d.f.
Sep 26, 2018
Sep 26, 2018 at 5:37 PM UTC
inexplicable sadness is addicting.
i crave to feel everything all at once,
and then nothing.
d.f.
Aug 17, 2018
Aug 17, 2018 at 8:53 PM UTC
how dare the universe take away my will to live.
Aug 4, 2018
Aug 4, 2018 at 6:54 PM UTC
decadent nectar lips
begging to draw me close,
so i can taste you, honey.
{d.f.|05/30/18}
Jun 11, 2018
Jun 11, 2018 at 9:10 PM UTC
why'd you go through all the trouble of stealing my heart,
if you were just going to add it to your pile of forgotten treasures?
{d.f.|04/24/18}
May 16, 2018
May 16, 2018 at 5:09 PM UTC
i fell in love with
the way you
so passionately
rejected me.
{d.f.|05/01/18}
May 16, 2018
May 16, 2018 at 5:06 PM UTC
i sit here contemplating what words to use, to say:
how much i don't think about you.
how much i don't care.
how much i don't miss you anymore.
but the fact that i sat down to write about you,
that i seem to never stop,
are words enough.
{d.f. | 04/08/18}
Apr 11, 2018
Apr 11, 2018 at 5:08 PM UTC
do you still believe?
that if you close your eyes
you’ll dream once more.
of a world we built
under the glow of stars.
each night as i pull the covers tight around me,
i wonder if you still dream
with me. of me. of us.
i must be insane to still stay up,
waiting for you to crawl back under,
to these once vibrant dreams now turned grey.
but you know what they say about dreams,
‘don’t give up on them.’
and that is the reason why after all this time,
still i keep sticking glow in the dark stars up on my ceiling.
may they light the way back to dreamland.
{d.f. | 04/04/18}
Apr 5, 2018
Apr 5, 2018 at 12:00 AM UTC
i'm still trying to remember who i was before i
stopped smiling at myself in mirrors,
stopped making silly faces at kids when their parents weren't looking,
stopped looking up at the stars.
i'm still trying to understand what i've come to be, how i
started yelling at myself,
started isolating my mind,
started living in a world where i only stare at the ground.
everything just was, and then it wasn't.
{d.f. | 03/13/18}
Mar 14, 2018
Mar 14, 2018 at 3:31 PM UTC
you planted a garden for me.
and i loved every single petal that bloomed.
including the thorns.
but i've noticed some flowers are
missing. taken. cut.
i guess i was just your plot of land, feeding on the lies you gave me.
by all means, go, the market awaits you.
sell them the promises you made me.
{d.f. | 03/10/18}
Mar 11, 2018
Mar 11, 2018 at 3:35 PM UTC
i tear myself down,
day in and day out.
i am my own personal demolition team.
and i’m so tired.
i just want to stop.
so i’m going to teach myself a new art.
today i won’t break.
today i will build.
{d.f. | 03/03/18}
Mar 7, 2018
Mar 7, 2018 at 5:51 PM UTC
i hope you remember me when you least expect it, not at 3:00 a.m. when you miss me.
remember me in the moment the green light, turns yellow, and you think you can make it, but you don’t because it’s already red and you’re not even half way there.
after all, those were the colors i saw in your eyes after i promised to
love you forever.
first you were ecstatic, then frantic, and then finally paralyzed.
did you fear you no longer would be free?
as far as i know, i wasn’t holding a key ready to lock you up.
remember me as you sip your coffee and you burn your tongue.
after all, that’s how you left me, burnt from your bitter soul.
remember me when you’re listening to music and you have no one to dance with.
after all, i taught you how to have a dance party in your pajamas
when your soul was breaking.
when your dreams were fantasies and your nightmares were
realities.
and you know what? if you really want to, remember me at 3:00 a.m.
after all, you always slept while i was wide awake wondering how
long we’d last.
no matter how hard you try to forget me, you can’t erase us.
{d.f. | 02/25/18}
Feb 28, 2018
Feb 28, 2018 at 5:12 PM UTC
i’m trying to be positive,
to see the light at the end
of the tunnel.
to believe that the best is yet
to come.
except i must not be trying hard
enough, because the darkness
always creeps in.
it finds a way.
no matter how bright the sun shines
or how blue the sky is,
my word is gray.
and i know no other way.
{d.f. | 1/11/18}
Feb 21, 2018
Feb 21, 2018 at 2:17 PM UTC