#departing
The things held up
and dangle down
are the things that often
hang around
don’t tie high your hopes
in bids and byes
let loose the noose
and find your ground
Apr 9, 2022
Apr 9, 2022 at 8:37 AM UTC
The best of your days,
spent in vast fields of memorabilia.
Golden drops of sunset rain,
wash over your haste,
and you reach out for the hidden starlight,
to rewrite the melodies of your broken heart.
Mar 30, 2021
Mar 30, 2021 at 3:51 PM UTC
rims rolling, underneath the machine moving
on a path beaten
legs of one leaving, they look good
departing
she had a packet of sugar, what was it
she sought to sweeten
tarter than battery acid, acidic lady
who makes the mood, placid
you try, gathering to go after
to follow this feeling, disheartening
this love was a disaster
but you want more, mayday man
maybe, today
you'll get her
Feb 24, 2021
Feb 24, 2021 at 4:10 AM UTC
Death likes its coffee the way it likes me: cold.bitter.
As if there weren't enough bitterness in life.
Every minute counts and every step cuts deeper,
In the end the nightfall is as sharp as a knife.
And the days are falling sleepy,slow,
And the leaves are bleeding gray,
Everything that's now, will be long ago,
Everything that blooms will be blown away.
The tables will be occupied by worms.
And the candle fades with the morning light,
And form once white dress a stench so vile returns,
It's the smell of blood for maggot's delight.
Greasy curtains roast in sunlight,
As the day is swallowed by late summer's heat,
It's the only thing remaining to roam in the twilight,
To wallow in the victory of its own defeat.
But my room's as cold as ever.
Eternally shrouded in the coat of dark,
Which eye will soothe forever and ever,
but the foot dare not set, dare not leave a mark.
And so the bones are gathered by the wall ,
Around table surrounded by the pale,
As I await my last and final call,
When the reaper's taxi will be taking me away.
I won't wait much longer, and I'll calmly go,
Let me write a poem and smoke the cigar,
Maybe nail a note to the dusty door,
And sit by the window in the Reaper's car.
I will leave my sadness and sarcasm behind,
and the days I spent in fear and maybe in the end,
The cup of cold coffee that I had to grind,
And grab a glass of whiskey with lady Death instead.
Jan 11, 2019
Jan 11, 2019 at 10:08 PM UTC
It was just the other day
when I heard you say
you were going away
and that you couldn't stay.
It made an impression on me
which anyone around could see
that was how it was meant to be
for we would then both be free.
So we never really said farewell
as there was nothing much to tell
and now we can't even smell
each other or between us yell.
____________________
Nov 9, 2017
Nov 9, 2017 at 7:49 PM UTC
I've tried so hard, to live my life
Yet every time I tried, it became strife
I've dried up my own two eyes
Laying down awaiting to die
I'm stuck in telling all these lies
Writing my letter for my final goodbye
The life I lived wasn't always a bad one
But I'm fed up, I'm finally done
So keep on calling, I'll let the phone ring
Because I am busy, as the angels sing
They sing a song, as I pass the viel
Regretting the things I could never tell
My mind is clouded, stuck in a fog
Webs cover the gears and the cogs
Being eaten from the inside out
I'm still dying, yet I cannot shout
So I guess its time to face destiny
I apologize but, Death Awaits Me
Jul 20, 2016
Jul 20, 2016 at 1:04 PM UTC
His eyes implied, as he placed his hand on the windowsill, same as mine.
Just resting on the other side of a sheet of glass.
Much stood between the two of us.
Though back in time there was no distance which could separate our minds.
Once torn away, how did my pain reflect the same, inside and out?
How did our moment slip away like the quiet night?
My attempts in vain to remove the stain of the sacred heart.
His departing train which waivers in the snows embrace.
And bears my hopes for us away, into the dawn. Into the garish light of day.
I wait for him in the station stained with falling snow.
Until the time has stripped away the bitter cold.
And only memory remains, to find my hand and gently hold.
May 10, 2016
May 10, 2016 at 3:58 PM UTC
Repulsive and cruel,
Laying with an arm round me
An arm that is literally spitting
False phrases one moment
as though I'm the king of the jews.
god is dead.
and my entire life you
will always be a piece of
the shattered boy
the one who used to daydream
of stories only told by hopeless cries.
problem is you cannot hear the weeping
in their words that stream out their fragile hands.
Now spitting ugly and hurtful language,
That just tears me up,
And once you step out the doorway,
The saline filled liquid starts.
I'm trying to distance myself,
But how do I manage that?
How many more lies can you narrate
while you keep my loving heart?
Do you really think I don't recognize
and your love will bring me anything?
After all I have suffered.
How many more painful days
I simply wanted your dreams forever
but apparently my life isn't anything
certainly unworthy of admiration,
or unconditional love.
Sep 5, 2015
Sep 5, 2015 at 10:30 PM UTC
I used to think of my parents as divorced.
Legally, they were not. They lived in the same house, had the same last names, and on every legal document it stated that they were married.
Though it did not feel like that.
They lived in the same house, but they did not share the same bed. They had the same last names, but their morals were so different they seemed like strangers. They were technically married, but it felt as if they have been divorced for years.
As a child this brooding question had been lingering in my mind that has yet to be answered.
Why do people stay when they are supposed to leave?
Or why do people leave when they are supposed to stay?
I asked my mother why she did not leave my father yet, and she said it was because of my siblings and I. Though, the way she said it seemed as if it was an excuse for something bigger. Every time I would push her to answer my question, she would scold me for being too curious and repeat the same saying , “Curiosity killed the cat,”.
But I was not a cat. I was a confused child who has been through too many years of her parents fighting for no reason or too many reasons.
I grew older, my parents were still together, and the question still never left my mind. Before I knew it, relationships were sprouting all around me. All my friends changed their relationship statues to Taken, my sister started talking about boys more often, and every question out of everyone’s mouth was who was single and who was on the market. It sounded as if everyone became merchants waiting eagerly until a new, rare, product was in stock.
Of course, people fell out of relationships, and I realized it was the same way of falling out of love. It’s just as easy as falling in it, and thats what people are afraid of. I started asking around my question again.
Why do people stay when they are supposed to leave?
Why do people leave when they are supposed to stay?
And the answer remained in the format of excuses. It was always because of someone else leaving first, or the usual “thats just how things are,”response. It was so frustrating.
Out of bitter frustration, I decided to figure it out myself. I allowed myself to become very close with once a mutual friend. We shared secrets and told each other embarrassing stories we never told anyone before. We went out of our way just to see each other and even called each other Soul Mates. I found myself forgetting that this was all an experiment, and started to believe that we were, in fact, Soul Mates. We started to talk about getting into the same colleges, and moving in with each other while in college and after. We started planning road trips that would take two months and even introduced ourselves to each others parents.
Then that person left. Just as easily as they came.
It took me by sudden surprise, and I became immobilized for a while due to shock. I realized that it hurt, giving all of yourself to someone and letting them walk away with all you gave them as if you’re just a nostalgic memory, or a forgotten trinket. My question surfaced again, with much more rage and hurt this time.
Why do people stay when they are supposed to leave?
Why do people leave when they are supposed to stay?
Why do people leave?
Why do people always leave?
In my final conclusion of my hypothesis, I have realized that people leave because they were not supposed to stay in the first place. Everyone and Everything is temporary. I do not think the point of life is to find your soul mate. I do not think its to find someone to spend your whole life with. I think its to try and change every persons life you encounter with. It does not have to be nuclear, it could be really subtle. But change it in some way, for the better hopefully.
I think my parents are staying together for the better. I hope so, at least.
Aug 18, 2015
Aug 18, 2015 at 5:16 PM UTC
Seeking those lonely ones,
Every step watched, dark shadows hidden,
Ritual of the **** planned, prepared, precision,
Is the key to the departing of life,
All will fear that moment,
Looking behind as well as in front,
**** or be killed,
Is the reaction to that moment of a death,
Life is in their control,
Let the blood seep,
Every moment is a last lingering breath,
Right now you realise your time is up.
Dec 2, 2014
Dec 2, 2014 at 10:08 PM UTC
The train will now depart.
You will forever be in my heart.
I will remember you,
And never start anew.
You are my one.
You are my only.
I will never see you again,
And try not to complain.
You are almost gone,
I must press on.
Goodbye,
My love.
Goodbye.
May 1, 2014
May 1, 2014 at 8:21 PM UTC