#dejection
I remember the lights going off in the brains of young poets.
Deep in the dank streets of New York or Columbia college.
When the blues and twos would come and round up
The beatniks snapping to the howl of a homosexual mind.
When the generational attitudes of those too old to know,
Control the ****** acts of “violence”, or
The deepening scars of our philosophies.
When the urbanization of historical prowess leads to
Gentrified gypsies of the diamond deserts and endless skyways
When the great in the country isn’t good enough
For the red hats and spray tanned millionaires.
When the stocks of corporate dragons burn down
The attempts of upstart knights and online kingdoms.
When the politicians of old become the scapegoats
For the ironically gerontocratic few.
When the female few who dared couldn’t find their lost primaries
Or control the lifeblood leaking out of the Strait of Hormuz.
When the powerful and powerless fought in-between
The dejected and all too often ignored.
When the powered halogen lights flooded prison yards of
Wrongly convicted and murderously in need of help.
When the San Francisco clubs lit up with muzzle flash
And the dancers lay weeping in their blood.
When the schools became places to duck and cover
Or learn to trip a friend when running from a gun.
When parkland high became a manufacturing ground
For casings, tears, and candlelight vigils.
When the American dream came combo packaged
And supersized with obesity and unemployment.
When the education of the youth became about
The profit margin in a spreadsheet full of debt.
When the sun sets in the smoke filled horizons
And sleepless rest settles on the western front.
Dec 4, 2020
Dec 4, 2020 at 1:16 AM UTC
Have you ever thought of ending it all?
Facing your fear when your backs to the wall?
Crossing the bridge and paying the toll?
Nobody know's the feeling better then me
I fantasize while in bed, rest assured I can't sleep
Knowing it's me I fear is murdering me
Drowning my face in my own reflection
Disconnecting myself from other's connection
Removing my head from self-loathing dejection
Addicted to things that help me forget
All the memories and laughs that came and went
Everything that I've done that I can't just repent
Nov 1, 2019
Nov 1, 2019 at 8:39 PM UTC
Maybe the truth is I was never really meant to be happy.
Not in the sincerest form of the word anyway.
I'm content and I do have my happy moments.
But sincerely and truly happy?
I don't think that word was invented with me in mind.
Aug 9, 2019
Aug 9, 2019 at 7:53 AM UTC
Symptoms of diseases,
Diseases never heard of,
Symptoms were pain, agony and tears
Tears never shed
Diseases which took eras to be discovered,
Diseases that lay hidden,
Hidden behind smiles
Smiles hiding pain, agony and tears
Tears never shed
Because there was no one to see the tears,
Tears lay buried
Buried behind 'I'm fine'
'I'm fine' was a cover
To shield the delicate heart
The heart which was scratched and torn millions of times
And millions of times the memories were reminded
Memories which were to be forgotten
To be forgotten and thrown away
Thrown away like the heart was
The heart now only had tears
Tears never shed
Because there was no one to see the tears,
Tears left to dry
To dry without being wet
The heart also dried
Dried out and fell
Fell like the petals of roses
Roses which are only left with thorns now
Thorns which ***** and the heart bleeds
The heart bleeds the blood of hatred
Hatred risen from love
Love which led to the diseases
Diseases known as heartbreak, dejection and desolation.
Nov 4, 2018
Nov 4, 2018 at 10:19 AM UTC
Maybe I’ll beat up my sister today to deal with reflexive reprieve. No.
I think it’s because people are disappointments.
Maybe it’s because I’m afflicted with poverty. This is not real poverty, just the poverty I live with, the type I’ll see today and tomorrow.
Maybe its because we have the opposite of wealth and will never have enough to facilitate a dream. Fathers a salesman what can I do?
It’s because I’m disappointed with how shallow my life has been.
Jun 9, 2018
Jun 9, 2018 at 1:35 PM UTC
One more letter of rejection!
Disappointment and dejection!
Though many of such I receive
I still continue to believe!
I write because I feel a need,
(As vital as the need to breathe)
Words that others may never read;
Though just by writing I succeed!
Aug 31, 2017
Aug 31, 2017 at 7:01 AM UTC
There is nothing more tasteless
than the sweet nothings you
gloss me over
like icing on a vile
honeysuckle cake
already--
--burnt
Jun 29, 2017
Jun 29, 2017 at 8:56 AM UTC
•
I left a trail of blood from my bleeding heart,
Praying that you will follow & mend me,
But the depth of my aching overflow & my river of tears erase it,
Now I am left with a track to my death,
A death of utmost throe, lonesomeness & dejection.
© Earl Jane
♥ E.J.C.S.
Jan 9, 2017
Jan 9, 2017 at 9:36 AM UTC
Love is
walking on fire
killing our desire
making sacrifice
and paying price
Love is
living heartless
being restless
feelings being suppress
depression possess
Love is
making life a mess
living in distress
overwhelmed by dejection
a constant fear of rejection!
Love is a Fu¢king stress
only way to stay bless
is to care less
don't get stuck up
keep moving your @$$
Apr 11, 2016
Apr 11, 2016 at 12:16 PM UTC
I wake up every morning
with a heart that's mourning
it only desires to meet you
& throughout the day this feeling continue
I pray to the GOD above
to spare me of this love
coz every day it kills me
but will never set me free
the pain is getting unbearable
your thoughts are irreplaceable
my heart races and not just beat
with your every thought my life is at defeat
I wish my mind get numb
I can no longer act like a dumb
with your innocence in my heart
I walk through the life's desert
I wish I could die
but to rational reasons I can't deny
the reasons my brain put forth
that my fight to get you is worth!
HEARTACHE???
its something which I know
but no more my heart break
it has left me long ago!
Apr 8, 2016
Apr 8, 2016 at 8:14 PM UTC
your sky was a catastrophe.
not the inky black type and not the somber gray type either—no,
those were too cliché for you.
your sky was a shade between blue and gray,
the color of dejection, of loneliness
for it was only a shade in between.
never a whole
only half a mind,
and half a soul.
Jan 31, 2016
Jan 31, 2016 at 9:40 AM UTC
Oh dear, their love never really had a chance
as it was over before it started in advance.
There were so many conditions and obstacles they both had to overcome;
of a physical and emotional nature that would have been too burdensome.
Where one person may have been willing the other had some serious doubt
and the feelings shared between them were not much to get excited about.
Yet, they both seemed to be attracted towards each other
but it was hardly any more than being a sister and brother.
You must know something about the kind of love that I do mean
where both parties at first, only enjoyed from a distance to be seen.
Though, it’s said, where love is concerned it will seek to find a way;
the rest is really up to individual effort and or nature to save the day.
There are certain fleeting memories of love which linger in many still
that some people would try to revive again and so their passion fulfill.
The object of a person’s love demands serious attention
otherwise it remains at the level of being in suspension.
Those whom it concerns need to be intimately connected
so the experience of love for both parties is not dejected.
______________________________________
Jan 11, 2016
Jan 11, 2016 at 3:53 PM UTC
crying in silence
never allowed my tears
show their presence
I love you I swear
it hurts
your absence
I wanna put cuts
all over deep and dense
listening music
and remembering you
I feel so sick
and I'm so *******
death may embrace me
and put me at ease
I'm fed up of this monotonicity
I beg you Lord please!!!
Dec 24, 2015
Dec 24, 2015 at 12:18 PM UTC
The stains upon the bar
tell of many sad tales
of love, loss and tragic lives;
and drink to drown out the wails.
Another washed out soul
seeks the solace of the glass,
to wash away the memory
of another broken pass.
Another wheeler-dealer,
another gambling god,
another weary player
bet his life upon the sod.
The rings around his eyes
mark the toll of tell tale signs,
the vacant stare, unshaven chin,
you read between the lines.
Just one more shot to dull the sting
of a life that’s breaking down,
another drink to hide the lines
of another washed out frown.
He staggers out
onto harsh lit streets,
head gently spinning
on unsteady feet.
He knows that it's near,
he can hear the call,
just over the road
and down past the mall.
Shuffling along
with an unsteady gait,
cell phone ringing,
who cares, it can wait.
Eyes now blind
behind stinging tears
but it's not enough
to allay his fears.
And there it is
in a hazy dream,
a small footbridge
over a lazy stream.
He grips the rails
with trembling hands,
there’s no point telling her,
she won't understand.
Then just for a moment
he catches a glimpse
in the soft flowing waters
and it makes him wince,
for the wretch that he sees
is not the man that he knows;
there’s a stranger staring back
from dark waters below.
With a shuddering sigh
and with tears streaming down,
he's leaning over;
feet leaving the ground.
For a moment he's flying,
so alive and so free,
he’s no longer afraid,
just a strange kind of glee.
He doesn't feel the water
as it closes overhead,
he doesn't feel the chill
for his soul has already fled.
Written by Darren Scanlon, 25th November 2013.
Revised 12th July 2015.
© 2013 Darren Scanlon. All rights reserved.
Jul 11, 2015
Jul 11, 2015 at 11:02 PM UTC
I am alone. I am.
The sounds are not naked
Scratchings from outside;
No soft paws scurry in the attic;
The floors beyond are tiled;
The stairs carpeted;
The hinges like cloth;
The curtains drawn against shade;
The phone doesn't ring to vacant voices;
Half-burnt candles would burn
In the whosh of a hallway.
And yet,
I hear you breathe,
Hear the rustle of sleeves;
A light slivering beneath the door.
And I am
Alone.
Apr 6, 2015
Apr 6, 2015 at 12:51 PM UTC
How easily you tagged my truth as one of her lies,
Not once thinking how it would corrode my soul.
Now that you have felt I don't owe an explanation, I have decided
If you can't defend me, I will not fight for you!!
Feb 11, 2015
Feb 11, 2015 at 2:39 AM UTC
If I smile too much
it makes me look desperate
© Matthew Harlovic
Oct 29, 2014
Oct 29, 2014 at 4:24 PM UTC