#deepfeelings
They tell me to find the perfect man,
but I think of you
the only one who can make me smile, cry, rejoice, get angry… feel alive.
The only one I’m never ashamed of.
The only one I’m truly afraid of losing.
You complete me,
you make every day feel special.
You are my soulmate.
Oh, how I wish you were the one.
We’re such a mess together,
and yet, with you, everything feels lighter.
What do I care about being what they forbid me to be,
if being with you feels like home?
My happy place.
My person of the heart.
7d ago
May 27, 2026 at 3:48 PM UTC
it’s not sad.
it’s not wrong.
but in 2026
you can scream
and still
not be understood
the way you should be.
you can stay
where there are no signs,
where the ***** wait for you in the harbor,
and still
be forgotten
in a moment.
we both know:
flowers arrive
when it’s too late
to feel them,
or even think, for a second,
“these are beautiful.”
the dice were thrown
with the wrong calculation.
and suddenly,
you become everything
you were never allowed to be
in their eyes.
don’t cry.
and I wonder —
who does it hurt more, between us?
you, the reader, beyond the screen,
or me,
the one who twists words
like knives in a wound?
only…
you’re not here anymore
to hear it.
or to see it.
so—
who am I talking to?
May 4
May 4, 2026 at 5:17 PM UTC
Life isn’t really worthless—
unless I’m trying to love less
than the rhythm in my chest
whispers when you’re close enough to feel it.
There’s creation in your touch,
every brushstroke of skin an art piece—
unless the soul beneath my hands
starts fearing it was birthless
before you breathed warmth into it.
You move through my silence
like a verse I’d rehearsed with—
turning quiet breaths into music,
turning longing into purpose.
Because love isn’t something we search for—
it’s something our bodies remember
when they finally meet the right pulse.
Mar 15
Mar 15, 2026 at 2:59 PM UTC
She came to me with wet cheeks,
Told me about her fever—
How it came at midnight,
How it shook her like a leaf,
How no one understood.
I nodded.
I understood.
She spoke of thermometers and tablets,
Of worries that kept her awake,
Of how hard it is to be alone when you're sick.
Her hands moved as she spoke,
Tracing circles in the air,
Drawing the shape of her suffering
So I could see it clearly.
I saw it.
What she didn't see
Was the cancer sleeping in my bones,
The quiet war inside my chest,
The way I measure my life
In small things now—
Morning light, birdsong,
One more day.
---
She said, "You're so strong.
You always listen.
You never complain about your own problems."
And I smiled,
Because what else can you do
When the weight you carry
Is too heavy for words?
---
Here is what I have learned:
Small pain cries.
Big pain sits.
Medium pain finds a friend.
But the pain that will end you—
That pain makes you a friend
To everyone else's pain.
She will remember this day
As the time I held her hand
While she was sick.
She will tell others,
"He was there for me."
And I will remember
That for one hour
I forgot my own dying
By holding someone else's living.
---
Sometimes I wonder:
If my cancer had a voice,
What would it say?
Would it scream?
Would it beg?
Would it shake people like she did?
Or would it sit quietly too,
Knowing that the world
Can only carry
So much sorrow?
---
Tonight she is home,
Probably sleeping,
Her fever gone by morning.
Tonight I am here,
Counting heartbeats,
Wondering how many are left,
Holding my own hand
Because no one else knows
It needs holding.
---
This is not a complaint.
This is just how it is.
Some people cry in public
Because they can.
Some people cry in private
Because they must.
And some people—
Some people spend their last days
Being soft places
For others to fall.
---
If you read this
And remember someone
Who listened to your pain
But never shared their own—
Go back.
Ask again.
Look closer.
Because the quietest ones
Are usually the ones
Carrying the most.
And sometimes,
In their silence,
They are screaming.
Mar 12
Mar 12, 2026 at 8:46 PM UTC
Hey, I live nearer to you than your own breath,
shining quietly through your eyes
as if my light had chosen them
for its dwelling.
My presence is brighter than the moon’s calm glow,
yet softer than the first light
touching a sleeping garden.
If I were to step into that garden,
flowers would lower their heads,
and even the tall poplar
would bow to the grace I carry.
My voice could humble the lily
famed for speaking in a hundred tongues,
for there is a silence in me
deeper than all words.
When I am kind,
I am gentler than the soul itself;
but when I withdraw,
my distance feels colder
than an empty winter sky.
I am wild in spirit, untamed and free,
yet when you meet me face to face,
something in my quiet strength
makes you still and soft
like the patient earth after rain.
Cast away your armor,
stand without fear,
for no shield is stronger
than the truth I carry within.
That is why, when I turn away from the noise of the world,
I close every crack in the wall of my heart,
so no outer light can enter and deceive me.
I know well -
it is only the light within you
that truly illuminates my world
Work from:
To her who already knows ?
Feb 16
Feb 16, 2026 at 12:18 PM UTC
I don’t try to read you —
I just hear you
before you speak.
Your silence has a frequency,
and my ribs
are a tuning fork.
I was trained in the language of flinches,
in the dialect of door-slams,
in the grammar of breath held too long.
So when your smile sits crooked
on a sentence that says “I’m fine,”
I see the typo.
I don’t mean to notice —
it’s muscle memory.
My nervous system grew up
studying micro-expressions
like scripture.
I can feel the bruise
beneath your bravado.
Smell the smoke
from fires you swear are out.
You think you’re hidden —
but hurt has a posture.
Trauma has a tone.
And I have lived there long enough
to recognise the furniture.
People open to me
like overfilled drawers —
secrets spilling
into my lap
before they’ve learned my surname.
They say,
“I don’t know why I’m telling you this.”
And I want to say,
because I know the shape of breaking.
Because my eyes don’t judge fractures —
they map them.
I don’t go looking for pain.
It just hums.
And I hum back.
Maybe it’s the way I hold space
like a door that’s never slammed.
Maybe it’s the softness
survivors carry
when they refuse to harden.
Maybe it’s because
I survived what should have silenced me
and chose to stay gentle anyway.
Empathy isn’t a gift I unwrapped —
it’s a scar that learned to listen.
I can spot the child
still standing inside the adult.
The tremor behind the temper.
The apology lodged in a throat
that never learned safety.
And I don’t expose it.
I cradle it.
That’s the strange thing —
I never meant to be a lighthouse.
I was just trying to stay afloat.
But ships find me.
Storm-worn.
Hull cracked.
Carrying cargo they can’t dock anywhere else.
And I let them anchor.
Not because I’m strong all the time —
but because I know
what it feels like
to pray someone
would see through me
and not turn away.
I don’t read minds.
I read survival.
And when your past
recognises mine,
it relaxes.
That’s not magic.
That’s mirror.
And maybe the reason
they tell me everything
is because somewhere in my eyes
they see this:
You’re safe here.
I’ve been there too.
Feb 13
Feb 13, 2026 at 1:07 PM UTC
If Life Is A Drama
And God The Scenarist
If We Are Just Actors
And This World A Stage
Then After My Death
I Would Like To Ask God
The Lord
Do I deserve An Oscar ?
Coz His Script
Isn't Really Easy For Me To Go
With The Flow
But Anyway
I Manage To Live It Though
Yo
Untill This Life Ends In Peace
Bro .
- Nis ...
Feb 13
Feb 13, 2026 at 8:44 AM UTC
I keep my heart in a locked glass case,
not to keep you out, but to see who stays.
I speak in storms and half-finished thoughts,
in silences heavier than what I forgot.
I’ve built my walls from careful fear,
bricked with doubt year after year—
and when you trace the cracks with your hand,
I almost let you in. I almost stand.
“Am I hard to love or am I too hard to understand?”
The question trembles where I land.
Feb 12
Feb 12, 2026 at 9:34 PM UTC
When I look into her eyes, I do not see eyes
-I see a silent ocean teaching the moon how to shine.
Two deep wells where the night comes to drink,
And my wandering soul forgets its own name.
There is a garden growing inside that gaze,
Petals made of light, roots made of secrets.
Time sits down there like a tired traveler,
And even pain forgets the road back home.
Her eyes are not windows;
They are doors left half-open by the divine.
I step in, and suddenly
I am no longer a man,
But a drop returning to its sea.
Something in them calls me
The way the sky calls the birds at dusk,
The way silence calls the prayer.
No words, no promises -
Just a pull older than memory.
In that dark, shining depth,
My storms grow quiet,
My questions lose their hunger,
And I begin to understand
That love is not something I found there…
It is something that was waiting
To find me.
So I keep returning to that sacred place,
Not to look,But to dissolve!!!
Feb 6
Feb 6, 2026 at 9:02 AM UTC
A friend of mine would always say no to photos—
no to capturing moments, no to recording memories.
And I often wondered why.
Maybe she was shy, conscious of the camera,
maybe she didn’t like pictures, or felt insecure.
But I was wrong.
I’ve lately realised that for her,
moments captured in the heart
are far more precious than filtered clips and forced smiles.
She may not—or cannot—share those moments with the world,
nor explain them through words or proofs.
Yet she can feel them,
and relive them on a gentle loop,
safely secured in her tiny heart.
Dec 25, 2025
Dec 25, 2025 at 7:54 AM UTC
Silence isn’t empty,
it speaks in its own way —
of unspoken thoughts,
and words we couldn’t say.
It holds the weight of longing,
the comfort of the near,
the ache of distant memories,
the truths we never hear.
In silence, hearts are louder,
their echoes linger deep,
a language beyond voices,
a promise we still keep.
Dec 5, 2025
Dec 5, 2025 at 2:21 AM UTC
_autumn tears..._
falling for you
__all over again__
we’re just friends
in the __present tense__
making amends
like cracks filled
with silence
__tears of yesterday__
still
water my lawn
i’ve been banking on a love
that never matured
just an emotion
__on loan__
tell me—
do you rest your hand
under your chin
like I did
when you’re alone?
sharp edges
on my mind
but it feels
__pointless to forget you__
to accept you
is to accept
__not having you at all__
the drink of your love
I could never finish—
you were
too tall
too much
too deep
__too far__
you poured yourself
out for me
and I drank
greedy
we kissed
like language
like memory
and I felt the shiver
__escape your pores__
so why
can’t I
__escape your love?__
Jun 12, 2025
Jun 12, 2025 at 3:02 PM UTC
Giving fake smiles...
Hiding pain infront of family...
Confusion of what to share and what to hide...
Fear of perspective changes...
Fed up with sympathy around...
Being unloved...
One side efforts...
Losing loved ones ...
Getting stranger vibes from close ones...
Taking blame without fault...
Lack of clarity in life...
Handling panics on your own...
Bad?
Probably the worst!!
The silent struggles people go through — especially the pain that hides behind a smile and the burden of emotional isolation.
May 18, 2025
May 18, 2025 at 12:20 AM UTC
Late at night I look up at the sky....
And think about all the reasons why....
I love you and I realised that soon I'll have to say goodbye..
Late at night ,I wonder why you don't feel the same...
And think to myself ,I had feelings for u ever since u came....
And now all I'm feeling is pain....
Late at night,I think about when you u gone...
And wonder how am I going to to move on...
Cause I have no clue ,what am I going to do....
Knowing that I keep falling deeper in love with you...
Nov 17, 2019
Nov 17, 2019 at 7:57 AM UTC
im the killer of my own dreams,
the ******* murderer of my desires,
the one who holds my emotions hostage
and who holds a pistol against my own throat just in case i even think to dare to speak...
i cuss myself out so tears won't leave my eyes
i threaten my own life to quiet down the silent screams of my soul
i stand the **** up against the girl who constantly looks back at me... destroyed, hurt, bleeding hands, swelled up eyes, barely beating hurt ... in front of the mirror
im the devious prince in my own story ...
but i still wonder if i can be my own knight in shinning armor to come rescue me from my own self...
Jul 30, 2018
Jul 30, 2018 at 10:03 PM UTC
Every feeling drawn from so much depth,
That I have to learn to embrace the deep,
The blackness of the pit with no echo,
The unreachable place from which they creep.
I’ve not been privileged to love shallowly,
Nor unrequited love not quench my soul,
Nor experience of fleeting sadness,
But to love my dark and bottomless hole.
Shall I be better off without darkness?
Feeling love as strong as jealous anguish?
Shall I pray to never feel crushing hurt?
So loving shall be an incomplete wish?
How often rejection brought me despair!
Oh to be hopeful as my hopelessness!
The deep emptiness that ***** down my pain,
Is the same depth from which I can’t love less.
Emptiness do not fill up with healing!
That dark abyss is my space for feeling.
Jun 14, 2018
Jun 14, 2018 at 12:45 AM UTC
it's crazy how my tears still drowning when i hear a word 'you'
i wanna feel nothing
like literally nothing
i just..
i wanna forget things about myself,
getting lost,
changing my personal identity,
starting a new life,
i don't know
i don't even know it..
i admit it now that
i cant seem to find someone like you
someone that always be there for me
no matter what
no matter how hard i was
but you still there and here..
if you only knew
i'm just sappy knowing that you're happy with her more than mine..
and if you only knew
til these days i haven't met someone that treated me the way you treated me..
i know it sounds crazy that you've done the worst thing ever in my life but the truth is..
what if the worst you is all that i need?
and what if you were the only one who could swim in all of my weaknesses with so much patient?
we've been through so much pressure and still no matter what
you made it like you could worked that out again..
i know 'sorry' means nothing to you anymore
and i know that you're hating me after all this time
but i can't
i just can't..
from the bottom of my heart
please please be the happiest cause you deserve more than mine in this world
i want you to keep that forever
,and ever..
Sep 18, 2016
Sep 18, 2016 at 10:24 AM UTC
I wish..
I wish i wasn't a stone cold so i don't have to make you wait for every second, minute, and hour..
I wish..
I wish i could grabbed your arms around me
Like you did to her everyday..
I wish..
I wish i could cuddle with you Like she did with you in the late night..
I wish..
I wish i could have one day to fix everything up
Like you always did to me even when i didn't..
I wish..
I wish i could live inside your emotions
Like she could live inside yours..
I wish..
I wish i could be your bad temper
Like you did to swim inside my weaknesses..
I wish..
I wish i didn't give up too easily with you
Like you'd never did to me (ever)
I wish..
I wish i could be like her
So i don't have to say goodbye to you forever..
Sep 17, 2016
Sep 17, 2016 at 9:44 PM UTC
i wish i could overload
Your messages
Explaining the way i feel for you.
Apr 8, 2015
Apr 8, 2015 at 1:39 AM UTC