#deepestemotions
She says she’s still here, but I feel the pause. Your body knows before your mind. She used to lean in – no thought, no fear. Now I’m aware of the distance before it’s even there, measuring the gap with my own worst nightmares.
I’ve been heavy lately. Hard to hold. I’ve been in a room with the curtains drawn, air heavy with tomorrow… Every sentence weighted by how tired I am waking myself up. A future shaped dread in every word.
I don’t blame her. I wouldn’t choose this either.
Someone who wakes up already tired for tomorrow. I worry I’m teaching her how to be sad… That loving me feels like carrying a storm that isn’t yours.
How hope desperately clings to my chest; that healing can be faster than leaving, that love will notice effort before it notices exhaustion
But I don’t blame her. I just want time; enough to remember how to be warm again, enough to prove that this version of me is not the only one that exists. And today, that hope – fragile, shaking – is what I hold onto so I don’t disappear before I get the chance to come back to myself.
Mar 27
Mar 27, 2026 at 10:31 AM UTC