#deepdown
My throat is a battlefield
Where screams go to die
They crawl up like
Spiders with broken legs
Then fall back down
Into my chest cavity
Banging against my ribs
Like caged birds
Until their wings snap
And feathers clog my lungs
My hands are earthquakes
That never stop
Fingers twitching like
Live wires against my skin
I press them into my thighs
And bruises bloom in the form of
Purple flowers watered by adrenaline
The shaking moves inward
My bones rattle like
Wind chimes in a hurricane
My heartbeat is a drum corps
Marching through my temples
I can't tell if it's love
Or terror anymore
A relentless percussion
That makes my vision blur
At the edges like watercolour
Left in rain
My inner child is screaming
Inside my skull
Her voice is sandpaper
Scraping against bone
She claws at the inside of my throat
Until her fingernails break off
And scatter like shrapnel
Through my bloodstream
She's trying to tear her way out
Through my mouth
I swallow her back down
Drowning her in my stomach acid
My skin doesn't fit anymore
It's two sizes too small
And made of barbed wire
Every breath stretches it tighter
I swear I can feel it
Splitting at the seams
Revealing something underneath
That doesn't have a name
I'm simultaneously too much
And not enough
My body is a contradiction of physics
Expanding and collapsing
In the same instant
Like a star dying in real time
The explosion is happening
Inside my chest
The implosion is happening
Behind my eyes
And I can't tell which direction
Is up anymore
Time moves like molasses in winter
Thick
Slow
Suffocating
But also like lightning
Split-second and blinding
Past
Present
And future
Collapse into this single moment
I'm everywhere I've ever been
And nowhere I want to stay
My breath comes in gasps
That taste like copper
Like I've been chewing on
Pennies or blood
Or maybe both
Maybe I've been eating myself alive
Starting with the soft parts
Working my way to the bone
There's a pressure behind my eyes
Like someone's trying to push
Them out from inside
Or maybe pull them
Back into my skull
I can't tell the difference anymore
Between pushing and pulling
Holding on and letting go
Staying and leaving
Alive and Dead
My thoughts are a traffic jam
Every single one trying to exit at once
They're all going in
Different directions
And none of them know
The destination
Just that they need to get there
Now
Immediately
Yesterday
The space between my
Shoulder blades feels like it's been
Hollowed out with a spoon
Scooped clean and left empty
Somehow still heavy
Like someone filled the
Cavity with lead
Regret
The weight of every word I never said
My jaw aches from clenching
Teeth grinding down to powder
Tongue swollen from being bitten
To keep from screaming
Speaking
Existing out loud
There's a vibration in my sternum
Like a phone set to silent
A constant buzz that makes
My whole chest cavity hum
With something that might be rage
Grief
Or both
Braided together so tightly
They've become the same thing
My fingernails have left
Half-moons in my palms
Little red parentheses
Marking where I've tried to
Hold myself together by squeezing
So hard my hands went numb
But numb isn't the same as gone
And together isn't the same as whole
I'm a live wire in a puddle
Dangerous and drowning
Sparking and sinking
All at once
Forever
Sep 28, 2025
Sep 28, 2025 at 5:03 AM UTC
I may talk a lot on the outside,
But deep down, I have a lot of secrets,
The untold things I never wish to tell,
Many secrets that I claim to myself.
I smile a lot on the outside, even though
Deep inside, I've never done so,
Because deep within, I am a different person,
A person whom you will never know.
I am nice to a lot of people on the outside,
But believe me,
I've murdered every single one of them on the inside,
A psychopath I am very deep within,
Very different from my outer being.
Partying and socialising is not my thing,
Neither is teamwork or collaborating,
Lonely I am, very deep within,
And alone I always wish to be.
The dark evil has conquered my mind,
And the goodwill refuges on the surface outside,
I do not tend to fight my evil within,
Because it's who I've always been.
I am not my true self,
The person you see on the outside,
Because deep down, I am a different person,
The person you'd never wish to meet.
Mar 1, 2019
Mar 1, 2019 at 1:53 AM UTC
. It’s like I don’t know why I search for answers , when I know my heart wants nothing to do with life. Even mustering words to be noticed doesn’t matter. Anyone can say anything, truth is life is unfair, we just want to squeeze some false hope out of it. I hate myself, and I hate people. but as time passes I lose my state of thought, now I don’t even respond to pain like I use to. I just let it soak in, I don’t eat like I use to , I just let my stomach feed off of me, I don’t speak to anyone anymore, I just stare at them and pretend the voices is some eyrie soul telling me to end my life. We hold on to life because we don’t know what’s going to happen. As I slip away day by day in my thoughts I find I’m dying slowly. Slavery was around the corner. The world is not over it. I won’t speak of power, who cares who wants it. All I want is the same as you , to forget everything and not forget how much I hate being alive , I have no friends I don’t want any, I don’t see family I don’t want any. Alone makes you crazy, I talk to myself, and I bleed. When you become lost. Nothing matters what ppl say. Cause everyone is a hypocrite me too . Hope you find a way to live. If you have to go then sit and pray to anything , the devil God the plants pray to the insects that bit you. Just find energy to deter your mind. Because you will do it **** your soul then you will **** yourself. Don’t research anything on the internet it’s designed to make you wanna die more. Nothing can help you in life when you give up. That doesn’t mean nature cannot help. Hug a tree , lie in dirt and roll and scream out loud make the world hear you. If your ashamed to do any of this then you haven’t reached the stage of suicide you just feel life is unfair and wanna die. For me , im crazy and won’t accept help, Why is like this, because all I see is slavery in life. Freedom is there but you suffer if you don’t input to society , so be here if you want go if you want. Stop worrying about who has the better answer for your problems , none of them can help you. Not even me, so die if you want live if you want post a message about dying if you want. You will still feel the same. I pray to the universe that the strings of your life be plucked differently so that your burdens in thought will fight for you and not against you.
L.S.
Mar 2, 2025
Mar 2, 2025 at 8:54 PM UTC
**Breathe, relax, slowing sinking beneath
the waves of fear and insecurity,
realizing the deeper you go under,
the safer you feel.**
*Just go with the current,
don't try to force it,
relax, and trust it...
Watch the beauty unfold.*
**As you dive deep down,
into a world unknown by many,
you discover possibilities,
you never sought possible.**
*The cold and warmth work in unison,
The beauty, and the beast, side by side,
into a world unlike no other,
Take a breath, dive deep down.*
**Watch as the bubbles ascend above your head,
letting all your worries go with it,
each breath, easing your mind,
and relaxing your body.**
*Only to emerge from the deep blue,
looking to land on one side,
and open, infinite possibilities on the other,
so much to explore, in so little time...*
**Deep down we dive,
searching and looking,
for new possibilities,
endless excitement for years to come.**
Dive Deep Down
Into The
Deep Blue
<3
Aug 3, 2016
Aug 3, 2016 at 2:34 PM UTC