#deadness
"The mother's heart is the child's playground."
i have one story to tell to me again and maybe again, i caught myself dreaming the boundary between the energetic darkness and the travelling light. this vital story when the mornings were pure the nights full of unknown beings, the rib cage the only space i knew rippled by the vital waves, by dread, incomprehensible vibrations, the beat of my heart unprotected, the horizon had not yet been invented, nor the sisterhood and brotherhood. pain was an incessant falling into the void, the desire infinite, my body shattered into vital fragments, a misattuned orchestra of delight and terror (body-mind-reality continuum forever broken). at the crossroad of deadness and aliveness i was stamped with fire and water, i was an imaginary being without limits. even now i use a strange language and visions of the infinite haunt me, i taste life when i confuse myself with you and her and him and them, so that death is not incomprehensible. i was once a pool of vibrant nothingness, this terrible pain of life crushing itself inside the flesh, of reality and imagination, longing and despair annihilating each other.
my body carries patiently the invisible tattoos of vibrant scars, she waits for me to learn how to love the simplicity and the serene fullness of life. all i need is more words, new vessels for the infinite desire, more "i" in this i from the imperfect, impermanent and incomplete.
Apr 11, 2023
Apr 11, 2023 at 1:56 PM UTC
Shawls of dead child meat
Wielded like salami
His person excited
In deadness and army
Big long ****** **** just speared through a child’s cot....
There’s nothing to say...
In lullaby trauma
They dance like boulders
An avalanche of gracelessness
Bob their own children on their shoulders
The dust the poor breathe in reluctantly
That this systematic, cinematic dentistry leaves...
... chokes to the core
An ocean of innocence strives to be pure
But the big bulldozer bullies
Won’t stop dealing this misery
And moving around dead pieces in their glee
You see... this is it. No discussion, no big debate– no “it’s ****
- the truth - no words could ever account for this.
Aug 20, 2025
Aug 20, 2025 at 7:27 PM UTC
Daddy
I've done some
*******
I taste
your disapproval
Lips shining around a slit of air
and eyes
foreboding
daring me to laugh
I taste
my highness
my hair white
as clouds
bobbing through the Neverlands
I've been reminded
of you
Daddy
In the fatherless boy
the mirror whispers of
You have my eyes
and I have your
deadness
It's all
because of you
My dear dear father
who had the graciousness
to make me
who had the audacity
to leave me
Because
I never
needed you
I have done too much,
I hope,
Daddy
Jun 19, 2020
Jun 19, 2020 at 8:21 AM UTC