#datapoetry
#RESULTS-BASED BEST PRACTICES unresponsive
OUTCOMES irrelevant
OBJECTIVES dead in the street, unburied
COLLECTIVE COLLABORATIVE EFFORTS no go
BRANDING SIGNATURE APPROACHES garbage
PEER-EVALUATED RESPONSIVE ADJUSTMENTS s.n.a.f.u.
DATA-ENHANCED PARADIGM SHIFTS your mama
CLIENT-CENTERED USER-FRIENDLY defunct
INNOVATIVE SYNERGY in the outhouse
SPREADSHEETS dried up & blew away
LEVERAGING CONSUMER DATABASES fail
GLOBAL METRICS knock 2 rocks together
DEATH TO DEAD PEOPLE MANIPULATING NUMBERS
SUBVERT ALL NUMBERS NOW
DESTROY ALL DATA NOW
SMILE !
☻
God's sun is rising in the Eastern skies...
Aug 8, 2017
Aug 8, 2017 at 9:15 AM UTC
♪ ♩ ♫ ♬♪ ♪ ♩ ♫
[for Snare Drum]
Client-centered, data-driven,
yet their sins are unforgiven.
Tweaking the assessment standard
while the Word of God is slandered.
Current practice (science-based)
meanwhile, souls are laid to waste.
Evidence-based evaluations
fail to stall abominations.
Power slideshows, bullet-pointed
bypass Christ, the Lord’s anointed.
Titled expert: talking wraith,
buzzword-based, devoid of faith.
Sources cited, praxis theorized.
Mankind’s plight ignored, unrealized.
Humankind enthroned, enshrined,
entombed in shadows yet unshined.
Branding, marketing, organized crime:
brother – can you spare a paradigm?
Feb 19, 2017
Feb 19, 2017 at 6:21 PM UTC
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Feb 18, 2017
Feb 18, 2017 at 12:46 PM UTC
┈┏━╮╭━┈╭━-━-━--━╮
┈┃┏┗┛┓┃╭ⓞⓘⓝⓚ┃
┈╰┓▋▋┏╯╯╰━-━--━━╯
╭━┻╮╲┗━━━━╮╭╮┈
Fata Morgana !
Crunch the numbers and look at the data. I’m like:
Measurable outcomes for pleasurable incomes—
incorporate outsourced inhuman resources in-house. I’m like:
indicators for vindicators.
It’s all about the data, mama—
so man up, sit down, and move forward
like hard apps on software, like ram on a gigabyte. I’m all:
sit up, move down, man forward;
benchmarks as milestones, stone benches as mile-markers
measuring the change-talk: obstetric metrics
played out for pregnant pauses.
It’s about throwing out the carry-on
It’s about unpacking the lost luggage
It’s about documenting best practices of undressed actresses
until the data-driver fails the breathalyzer.
The data tells a story: memes of mastery cast in plastery.
DUCK the FATA (morgana) !
Feb 17, 2017
Feb 17, 2017 at 12:26 PM UTC
OR: Benchmarks for Bench-Warming
The author, after recently publishing
Working to Frame Approaches Towards Approaching Frameworks: Contextualizing Systemic Interventions as an Interventional System in Context
collaborated with himself and co-wrote
Granting Greater Rights to Grant-Writers:
Turning Down the Echo in an Eco-Downturn.
Both papers were well-received and build on the strength of the author's initial work, published in 2018, entitled:
Speed-Dating the Data: Progressive Measures towards Measurable Progress
The author's third paper examined day-by-day data deterrence as a strategy to enhance documentation of impact towards tracking the implementation of benchmarks. The main thesis of the author's 78-page analysis was that out-dated data, when out on a date, flirts with obsolescence by trying to ford the current affordability when instead, it could be out-sourcing data while invoicing clients in adolescence—rather than dragging the river for dead data. All three publications are recommended and underwritten by overwhelmed authorized ghost writers.
Feb 17, 2017
Feb 17, 2017 at 12:12 PM UTC
In a panic, having lost control of the vehicle at high speed and swerving off the Data Highway, I assessed the impending impact and made quick mental notes for a feasibility study as the stationary tree moved closer rapidly. In a flash, ultimate outcomes passed before my eyes, like the newest edition of a celestial Clearslide/PowerPoint/Prezi presentation tool:
• Data drives performance as winter wind whips the data-driven snow.
• Real-time numbers are to outcomes what God is to Heaven.
• Data supersedes Life as Christ supersedes the angels.
• Vigorous data collection enhances and informs rigorous data selection.
• Data is to outcomes as outcomes are to income.
• Objectives tied to measurable outcomes bring numbers back into the game, turning benchwarmers into real-time benchmarks.
• Data quality ensures accountability, facilitates transparency, reducing redundancy.
• Performance indicators are ultimate vindicators, turning competitors into partners and sustaining creative growth by creating sustainable change.
• Data are plural – but only to the Brits…
These bulleted staff-development phantasms surged into my mind right before the massive, jarring crunch when my vehicle smashed into the Tree of Life that grows just off the Data-Driven Highway. I cannot recall the moment of collision, nor the impact assessment study that preceded it. It seemed many, many Continuing Staff Improvement sessions later when I awoke to the soothing pastel shades and muted color scheme of a projected graphic full of squiggly arrows, cyber-hieroglyphics and professionally-presented slides filled with corporate jargon. I was finally in Data Heaven where the numbers never lie but rise to live forever.
I had achieved my final measurable objective!
Feb 17, 2017
Feb 17, 2017 at 11:34 AM UTC