#darker
I evoked you. left. And just so.
Few tears shed on the way there
and back.
The towering walls, ashen,
ditto the ceiling
but darker.
it allows everything to fall through
I'm being told
to close my eyes,
shut my mouth—
the mouth in my head;
the head my mouth will soon be missing.
I took the landscape with me.
I stood looking backwards.
Snapshots came back blurred.
Unnerved by a palace
where inside is outside.
with and without.
Sep 29, 2025
Sep 29, 2025 at 11:21 AM UTC
the sky gets darker earlier this time of year
my heart grows weeds
and becomes as hostile as an abusive man
exiting a pub
i lose all the strength i built up
and all my protecting walls collapse
instead of breaking free i break down
in my room, silently, with only the echoes of my pain surrounding me
my parents say it’ll all be fine,
but if it was that simple, why wouldn’t i try to lessen the blow?
why would i wanna be stuck with voices
ringing in my head like noisy sirens?
i pray noticeably more when the sun dies sooner
i know it’s a bad habit,
only pray when things aren’t going well,
i’m so sorry,
i wish i was a better disciple, a better woman with stronger feet holding her up
my bedtimes get earlier,
but i fall asleep much slower
noticeably slower
the stars don’t remain beacons of hope,
they are fireballs bursting,
relishing in my devastation
time drags on in this time of year
my knees fold under pressure
my lungs shrivel up
my brain turns into a non-thinking zone
and i can’t escape the neurons packed deep into my radioactive mind
i can’t rid of my involvement in that sabotage
i pray and i pray and i pray
noticeably more this time of year
they get answered, but some of them are just too extreme
i don’t blame a soul
only the lost energy lodged into my wild mind
(and see, i can’t even think, i can’t breathe this time of year)
i’m never prepared
for this time of year
the summer air losing its warmth
the autumn chill filling my throat
i drowned many years ago
i still lurk in the water
and sometimes when i get full of myself
i grab feet and legs and drag them under with me
so they can feel the exact pain i did
when i lost my last breath
around this time last year
Aug 21, 2022
Aug 21, 2022 at 10:38 AM UTC
Once again
You have hurt me
Crying
Shaking
Overheating
Nauseous
Losing control
because you
found someone new
and you blind-sided me,
didnt you?!
how could you not know
why I was angry
why i pushed you away
why we arent talking right now
how could you not know
im still in love with you
isnt it obvious?
i still love you
but you,
unlike me,
have moved on
its been over a year but
i still cant seem to
let
you
go
but now
i will let everything go
become someone you dont know
i now revert to
who i was before you
once again
i
go
numb
Jun 25, 2021
Jun 25, 2021 at 5:44 PM UTC
Spring bringeth back the roses I love,
But alas,
My love not bringeth me roses
So as the rain comes
With a sprinkle of sunshine
To make flowers bloom
I still miss that love of mine
Whom taketh away my gloom
Skies grow dark
As grey clouds cover;
I deeply miss my Park,
My one true lover
And if these feelings you shall ignore,
Just know this is
Sincerely,Eleanor
May 25, 2021
May 25, 2021 at 3:10 AM UTC
Can I ask you?
With vice and disguise,
Are you happy with what you are?
Inflated with pride,
Knotted with jealousy
The unknown balloon burst
With a just ***** of words.
Camouflaged beauty as you were,
Coated and polished to be the society,
Mastered were the words,
With strokes of affection,
Appreciated as I felt.
I swam in the pits N holes
While thinking of the oceans
The deeper I tried to discover,
Shallower did you get.
Layers and layers of faces,
None uncovered to the core,
What you are still a mystery
I breathe in the pain of phrases,
Toxicity of incoherent love,
I feel the wrenching smirk,
Once which was a curved smile.
I hear the Echoes of my wails,
Strumming in the veins,
Tears were never there
But unseen scars dug deep.
In brighter days,
Darker shadow growing,
In hours,
A nightmare breeding.
You were what dismayed me,
Much more than breaking,
Maybe a peaceful shattering .
Apr 22, 2021
Apr 22, 2021 at 3:20 PM UTC
They say that
When a symbol of love breaks,
The love no longer exists..
So today..
When the pendant fell
From its third new chain;
When your heart fell to the ground..
I thought
" you really dont love me"
And for so long..
I convinced myself
"I dont love you..
And I've met someone new.."
But
When I broke his necklace
To fix yours..
I then knew...
I always have
And always will
Love you
..even if you no longer love me too
But a part of me wishes you still do..
Feb 11, 2021
Feb 11, 2021 at 2:09 AM UTC
Are you okay?
What happened?
To you..
To us...
Our love.
What happened?
You became stressed
And needed space
So you left
And I'll never forget the taste
Of honey turned vinegar
As my body rejected
The sweet promises
It once thrived on..
You said you wouldnt leave again
You said you'd always love me
You said you'd marry me
You said you wanted
To spend your life with me..
Do those words mean nothing to you?
Did they ever?
Was it all just a beautiful lie?
Did
"Forever and Always"
Mean absolutely nothing?
Do the tears i cried,
The sleepless, hungry nights,
The months of grief
For love we once shared
Mean nothing to you?
Who are you
And are you okay?
You smoked away
The cells of your brain
So you didnt have to think of me
Or guilt or pain
That you felt
That you caused..
A get away.
But little did you know
That you smoked yourself away
And became someone i dont know
I fell in love
With the man you once were..
But now youre just a stranger
Who looks very similar
To the love i lost.
For you may walk around in his skin
Wear his smile
His clothes
His hair
But you arent him
I lost him.
I need him..
And i cant find him anywhere..
Feb 1, 2021
Feb 1, 2021 at 3:24 AM UTC
Eternal sleep
Questions why
Answers keep
Reasons die
Darker still
Winter's night
Emotions ****
Souls' contrite
Time suspended
Final breath
As intended
Promises death...
Jan 4, 2021
Jan 4, 2021 at 9:07 AM UTC
Your are what , I'm needing
Cold nights are colder now
Could use your body heat
Come warm me up
Can't get you off my mind
These chilly days
Darker days
Make me think of you
It's these cold days
I wanna snuggle
Needing you here
Come warm up
Give me what , I'm craving
Take the chill out of the air
© Jennifer L DeLong 10/19/2020
Nov 10, 2020
Nov 10, 2020 at 4:14 PM UTC
They said that even demons
sometimes have a change of heart.
This made me wonder.
My demons' hearts never changed.
But mine did.
And it got even darker
as it gets broken over and over again.
Oct 26, 2020
Oct 26, 2020 at 5:54 PM UTC
I saw your jacket today.
I never forgot about it,
Never put it away
But when I disappeared for a month
I didn't take it.
I wanted to...but didn't.
I didnt want the torn sleeves
To completely fall apart
Like I did
When you broke my heart...
•••
I didn't just see your jacket.
It's hanging by the hood on my bedpost.
It's always there, but I often disregard..
But when I leaned down,
I braced myself on my bedpost.
I look up
And I realize the soft hood
Rests under my hand.
Made me think of
How much you always supported me
•••
I saw your jacket today
And honestly, I froze.
I couldn't move,
My body, cold.
The only movement,
The tear down my cheek.
And because you arent here
To wipe them away like you used to
I wiped them away
With your tattered sleeve.
•••
I didn't take your jacket.
I took my friend's sweater.
You know,
The ex you were always suspicious of?
I took his sweater.
Why?
It was warm
And it was a piece of my hometown.
Somehow you knew he still loved me.
I knew, but I didn't care.
Even with the love I gave
Your jealousy still tore you away..
•••
I saw your jacket today.
I held it close.
I felt every soft fiber.
It was your favorite
black
Champion
jacket.
But you gave it to me
Because back then
I mattered more
But the more I wore it,
It tattered more..
But that didnt matter.
You gave it to me
wrapped around
your favorite stuffed penguin.
The one I still can't sleep without.
The one soaked in my tears.
It was once your treasure,
but you once treasured me more.
And I trying to fix the jacket
That was once wrapped around it
But the more i do,
The more it falls apart
And maybe the same is true with your heart.
Maybe I'm the one at fault.
No.
Youre the one that hurt me.
•••
It was you.
It was you,
But no matter what you do
I will always love you.
True
Unconditional
Unending
Love
Does not end because of one instance
Or even several.
I will always love you.
And when it comes to you
Loving me
I know its not true.
Because if it were
you wouldnt have left me.
You wouldnt be trying to forget me.
You wouldnt be getting high
Every night
To try and find
That feeling I gave you
When you looked in my eyes.
I know because i felt it too.
Two years of butterflies.
Dizziness.
The feeling of fireworks
When our skin touched.
The raw and untamed passion.
The purest love.
All these things that made us both
Feel so alive..
That you left behind
Like an emotional suicide.
And you choose drugs
Instead of admitting you were wrong.
You try to resurrect the joy
That you only ever felt with me
Convincing yourself
You dont need me
But we need each other.
We need each other
Because one without the other
Is in a deep
Dark
Miserable
Place
That they cant escape
While the other is writing poetry
Pretending she is okay
To not have you in her life
From day to day
The days get harder and harder
Because the one she needs
Claims he doesnt want her.
•••
I saw your jacket today.
I folded it up and put it away
In a safe place
Taking up a small bit of my closet space.
Wearing that jacket
Was like wearing your hug
But after all you've done
I don't want you to touch me.
And if one day
You decide you actually want me..
You clean yourself up,
Figure life out,
Get back on your feet
And decide what's missing is me..
If you truly want me
You better get on your knees
And cry at my feet
Because "sorry"
Isnt enough
For what you've done.
Because when you loved me
You showed me
I was nothing less than a queen
But dethroned me
Making me feel
Worthless
Ashamed
Ugly
But I realized
Im still a queen
Without you.
Show a girl her worth,
She'll never forget
No matter how much you may
"Regret"
•••
I do still love you...
No.
I still love who you once were
But I dont recognize you now.
But even if you were to become
The man I once loved
I would just turn you away
No matter what you may say
Because its me you betrayed
When you promised you would stay.
My heart has never been
A toy with which you should play.
And I honestly regret the day
I gave it to you and let you open it
Because I knew better
Than to fall in love.
I knew better and its not fair.
Its not fair
That I melted
When you would play with my hair
As you touched my skin..
When you would grab my sides and
Pull me in
And trick me into the
Best two years of my life.
Tricking me into thinking
I would one day be your wife.
But i wouldnt trade it for the world.
If i could go back, I'd do it again.
Just make sure it didnt end
Because I knew from the start
I never wanted to love again..
If it wasnt you.
So **** you
For making me
Fall in love with you.
It was the best thing
That ever happened to me.
•••
I saw your jacket today.
And it still matters to me..
But I'm never wearing it again.
Forever and Always
It will sit
In the back of my closet.
Sep 28, 2020
Sep 28, 2020 at 7:18 PM UTC
My hair got darker
when I cut the dead ends
to the unfinished stories
with split plots
at the end
of
each
s
t
r
a
n
d
/
\
/\
Sep 28, 2020
Sep 28, 2020 at 5:44 AM UTC
The brighter the light,
the darker the shadow.
The brighter the smile,
the darker the mind.
Sep 25, 2020
Sep 25, 2020 at 4:26 PM UTC
Very slowly the sky is turning
Turning darker
Soft breeze uplifts
Wind speeds, gusts shift
Meandering unseen
Elements of light pass
through to ******
Silence reiterates it's case
Hue brightens as shadows leave
But murmurs mumble distantly
We wait, for when the anger erupts
and those above engulf us
Watch in wonder at the power
of the gods
Aug 14, 2020
Aug 14, 2020 at 4:14 AM UTC
Why i write
This i write out of my own well being, the moment to share and to stay alive, i have been and always be me in my sense, the world will never understand all of me or try to, that is how it was made to be, the strong survive, the weak die. living in a world where nothing makes sense to you can be a drain and be a bad trip to another life, feelings of ill and feelings of regret, subduing you with ever step forward, ever step back feels like a mile, every thought becomes a radical illusion, i don't do poetry because of the fun i get from it or because it is great, its my way of knowing the facts or real emotions being placed in writing, making a world where a viewer can try to understand the real feeling behind it.
Why i write
As day turns clear, when day gets dark, when your mind is open or when it is closed, everything makes sense or no sense at all, words make a time of feeling worth seeing and feeling, take it from the seeds of a tree there are no big impacts when it is planed, but as small as it is the longer is grows the bigger the impact, as is life to us all, take note now or lose yourself,
write now or lose the inspiration or stay silent and never speak again. you decide your fate...
Why i write....
Jun 19, 2020
Jun 19, 2020 at 8:57 AM UTC
I don't want what he loved about me to show,but unfortunately he loved everything about me
Jun 12, 2020
Jun 12, 2020 at 2:40 AM UTC
And in the middle of the night
when your thoughts
comes up
of the darkest and most stormy
to the most sentimental
revealed by your
darker side
Who are you, really?
hiding
behind a mask
lower your guard
reveal your real identity
Jun 6, 2020
Jun 6, 2020 at 4:31 PM UTC
As I hold my mouth shut
Reading the words on my screen
I feel the warm tears
Caused by each letter's sting
My stomach curses me
Tied in knots
A lump in my throat
Sobs silenced by my hands
Quietly
My heart has shattered
My eyes,waterfalls
My body shaking
Again I read the words i refuse to accept
Im exhausted
3am
I hope this is all a nightmare
But I havent cried myself to sleep yet
In agonizing stab wounds the heart
In gut-wrenching reality
I feel nothing but pain
Unsure how to feel about you
As I wonder what went wrong
And why you refused to stay
When I needed you most.
Apr 29, 2020
Apr 29, 2020 at 5:18 AM UTC
Let me love you
a little longer
a little more
a little wilder
like no one before
a little deeper
a little darker
a little harder
with my lips on yours.
-kmarie
Mar 3, 2020
Mar 3, 2020 at 9:48 AM UTC