#crutch
The remnants from every last past bunch
Of confrontation and confusion with such and such
Pile up till it becomes too much
I panic, then in a frantic desperation motion I reach out to clutch
At a drifting safety line I can no longer touch
In a rush I removed both legs to manufacturer a crutch
Sometimes it's hard to translate a hunch
©2024
Jun 5, 2024
Jun 5, 2024 at 6:04 PM UTC
There is a person I try to forget,
Shoved in the back of my mind.
The old me.
The one who used to be happy
Who used to be fun
Who used to be able to fall asleep
without crying
or music
or some other crutch
and I just...
I just want that person back.
Sep 30, 2020
Sep 30, 2020 at 11:17 PM UTC
Fashioning a new crutch
For one’s old crutch
Might never heal
One’s achilles heel
Sep 29, 2020
Sep 29, 2020 at 12:24 PM UTC
I take my pills to subside the pain,
But the dark clouds are just waiting to rain,
Therapy appointments medication and all,
They are like my crutches without them I fall,
My mind goes at such a pace,
But it’s loosing in a one man race,
Competing with myself to change who I am,
I’ve tried so hard I don’t know if I can,
They say death isn’t the answer then we’ll what is,
I’m dead inside hate and feeling like this
Aug 9, 2020
Aug 9, 2020 at 6:00 PM UTC
Will you be the ears?
The ears to my words.
Will you be the eyes?
The eyes to my falls.
Will you be the shoulder?
To which I depend on.
Will you be the listener?
And hear my calls.
Jan 23, 2019
Jan 23, 2019 at 4:52 AM UTC
You can say that I'm a little out of touch
I fell down but I can't climb back up
None of my friends give a ****
I guess I'm **** out of luck.
If I'm not feeling blue I dont feel much
I know they'll tell me to **** it up
Moving on is just hard as ****
I'm tired of being down on my luck.
Its like holding in the clutch
I press the gas but just rev up
Going nowhere fast my motor is ******
I blew a gasket, yeah just my luck.
I hope I won't always need a crutch
I need motivation to just wake up
Get me a drink until I don't give a ****
I guess I've been making my own bad luck.
Aug 8, 2018
Aug 8, 2018 at 8:27 AM UTC
Who was your ******* rock? The one you relied on when others relied on you? I was the keystone who kept you together and kept the others together unbeknownst to them. I was the bandage sealing the wound from the bacteria of the world, from the ill thoughts and mean-spirited things of the world. I was your ******* crutch that supported you and helped you stand upright in this world. But just like a crutch, like a bandage, I was discarded once the problem was summarily handled. I hope you bleed out next time.
Apr 18, 2018
Apr 18, 2018 at 8:53 PM UTC
It’s been two days since I saw your name
My heart falls into my stomach whenever I do.
I turn to my crutches and hope they fill the hole inside me.
They don’t though
Very few things do anymore.
Writing helps, though I shouldn’t indulge this emotion. Not like this.
It’s been two days since my soul rebelled.
I hope it comes home soon.
My body can’t sustain
Feb 18, 2018
Feb 18, 2018 at 3:48 PM UTC
promises of love
and dediction
we believe we are grown
but inside of us
just under the surface
is a child wanting to be comforted
to be loved
so we hide this part of us
the colours in our mind slowly dying
because they say to keep something maintained you
must nourish it
but the nourishment we need
is rare
and this makes our palettes grey
resorting to unorthodox versions of what we need
crutches and supports
that people refuse to speak about
the childhood friend
that moved away
when you were young
unable to cohere as to why
they couldn't stay
wrapped in the dreamland
of explosive joy
Sep 18, 2017
Sep 18, 2017 at 8:49 PM UTC
so many people
write about love with
*****
whiskey
a joint
a crutch
i don't have a crutch
and i don't have a crush
and two negatives equal a positive
so what does this poem even mean?
Sep 3, 2017
Sep 3, 2017 at 9:36 PM UTC
I want to explain the ****** up ****
That runs through my mind
No, I need to
Because I feel like I"m trapped in a monotonous circle of
"I need you"
I've got a shitload of scattered thoughts to **** through
My brain is a minefield
And lies are the only things I know to be true
Days get blurred by copious drug abuse
Amphetamines scream ***** I know you!
And you need me! You know it's true!"
The night seems endless because the days burn cold
I'm digging six feet under to make my home that hole
My body may look young but my spirit has grown old
Hesitating to be bold
This **** has gotten old
My insides are rotten...yes, I'm filled with mold
And I'd give away my soul
But I'd be lying if I said it hasn't already been sold
They can't stop puffing ******
Even though the prices get steeper
I'd leave if he hadn't said that I am a keeper
But, babe, I'm a ********* liar
I wish I could ignore you but you're my heart's sole desire
So, sadly, I'm wired
Sobriety expired
Remember, babe, I'm a ******* liar
So, I'll make false promises like liars do
And please believe me when I say it's true
Because, **** I need you to
Jul 25, 2017
Jul 25, 2017 at 3:03 AM UTC
I smell that i am rotting
the flower by my nose
Was easily retrieved
from dirt beneath my toes
Distract me from the pain
redirect my sadness
Are those in love sane
or wallowing in madness..?
Everything is potent till you use it all the time
yet your still on canvas in the paintings of my mind
I find ;
i never quite lose you all the way
I tossed you to the ground
but wanted you to stay..
Jan 6, 2017
Jan 6, 2017 at 4:12 PM UTC
Sometimes you have to let the tears flow,
Other times you have to let your feelings drown.
Because even planets wish to glow
like the stars who wear their crowns.
When the feelings become to much,
and you just want to die.
You need to throw away that crutch,
and stop wanting to fly.
There are times you don't want to feel at all
and you just want to be one with nothing.
Those are the times you stand tall
and make yourself feel something.
Jun 14, 2016
Jun 14, 2016 at 6:23 PM UTC
*Signpost to oblivion
When she threw me out
It was my fault I know.
The drinking had started again.
I slept in the car for days.
Locked out at night.
Yet still I drank
My job was lost.
But not as lost as me.
I remember waking
in the drunk tank.
I was ***** unshaven.
And my eyes were hollow.
She paid my bail.
I saw her through the bars
of the cell.
She was so beautiful.
And so clean and pure.
She whispered quietly
I always loved you.
I still do.
I felt so ***** I needed
A shower and shave.
But living rough is hard.
I quietly said thank you
I love you too.
She touched my cheek
With her finger tips
Like she used
to touch my skin
When we made love
In our clean bed.
She had tears in her eyes
As she saw what I had become.
She said softly
You know I lost our son as well.
As I stumbled away
to that signpost
for the town of oblivion*
Nov 9, 2015
Nov 9, 2015 at 5:34 PM UTC
All these days
I thought I was fated
Challenged against my will
To gain the trust of strangers
Strangers who turn into friends
Friends who turn into lovers
Lovers who turn heartbroken
I don’t bow my head to their feet
I bow down way beneath
To offer this trust
In desperation to be trusted
With the impression that trust happens on the outside.
While I feed my soul to the world outside
While I feed myself an understanding
That strangers turn into friends,
I am blinded away from my world on the inside.
Those I always know are my own
Become more transparent than invisibility
Those I take for granted as my own,
Become the strangest of strangers.
While I chisel and chisel away
I shape strangers into friends
Friends into lovers
Until I carve a bit too deep into the stone
Realizing a little too late its fragility
Lovers turn broken hearted
And I fall
And there they appear all over again
My very own strangers
They reappear
With love
They disappear again
With strangeness
Yet only they appear again
And again
Godsend, these strangers are
They let me walk away from them
They let me befriend
They let me love
They let me hurt and get hurt
They let me fall
They watch me fall
Yet they appear,
Only to pick me up again
To hold me with grip
To be my crutch, my wheel and my horn
To be the strangers I first opened my eyes to
To be the strangers who showed me friendship
To be the strangers who taught me love
To be the strangers whose hearts are too strong to break
To be the strangers I call,
My family.
Nov 4, 2015
Nov 4, 2015 at 8:55 AM UTC
I dined upon a firefly tonight;
So that my belly’d master,
“Warm.”
But the cold can in my hand
Led to – Pebbles in my feet;
And pebbles in my feet
Led to –
Solitary;
Loneliness and
Left behind, starved, and
In a way I’d never fathomed.
Oct 7, 2015
Oct 7, 2015 at 4:15 PM UTC
Kick out the crutch
False fixes are always temporary bandages
May 24, 2015
May 24, 2015 at 9:53 AM UTC
What shapes do you think of
when you sit under trees?
Blunt corners, forgiving curves-
a fluctuation that never seems to ease.
Do we circle in repetition?
Or is self defeat
a mirage of an inhibition?
The lines sometimes will never touch.
But this lack of closure
does not discount your right
to an ameliorative crutch.
Apr 26, 2015
Apr 26, 2015 at 9:03 PM UTC
I was your crutches when your heart was breaking
I was your scarf and gloves to keep you warm in the winter.
But when the sun came
You didn't need me.
When your heart healed,
You tossed aside your crutches
And I waited for the cold to come
Leaving your heart broken
begging for warmth and support.
Jan 23, 2015
Jan 23, 2015 at 11:48 AM UTC
I wish you understood
What goes through my mind
When I think about you,
Being away all the time
I hate that you're at school
And away from my clutch
I just want to hold you
In my arms like a crutch
Because you are my support
Every time I fall down
Now I have to get up
With no one around
No crutch or no cane
To help keep me sane
When I ramble the thoughts
That bring pain to my brain
It's so ******* hard
To sleep late at night
My arms, they look for you
But you're nowhere in sight
So I reach out to,
The closest thing I can do
Pick up my phone
And say "I really miss you."
Oct 16, 2014
Oct 16, 2014 at 1:12 AM UTC
Yes.
I know.
It is irrational for me to think like this.
I poke holes, second guess
and jackhammer at my own foundation.
But, you see, I do care even when
I come off as crass or I dishearten
your image of me.
I
Just
Can't
Stop
Myself
These destructive feelings
and urges towards relationships
are deep rooted in a fear
of abandonment.
I'm a battered man.
Batting below average.
Yet, every chance I get
I bunt or try to get hit
because that's more comfortable to me
Than swinging and missing.
But I do care. I really just don't know how to show it.
I hold on too long to brief moments
that seem to pass from memories
as if I stole them. I'm just nostalgic.
It's the little things that are big to me
and the silly stuff that resonates profoundly.
I do understand though.
The burden of my depression
rests solely on my shoulders.
It's not something I can brush off or
roll over. I just hope that you all
bear with me as I tunnel my way
out of this insanity.
Jul 21, 2014
Jul 21, 2014 at 4:01 PM UTC