i adjust the strap of my bag
to even the weight on each shoulder 
ignoring the rest of the weight that cripples me
not just physically 

my stomach aches
tongue’s tied
body shakes
brain fried 
voice breaks
even though i tried
to speak what’s in my mind
but just mumbles escape

i gulp
and take a deep breath
as i feel the blood being pumped
and moving throughout my being
trying to utilize the minimal strength left
didn’t know how bad it would get
not surprising from clueless ol’ me 
as fate prevails ruthlessly