#countingdays
When the waves of turbulent ocean, waves calmly all of a sudden..
the wind carries me to the blissful past,
transcending myself to other nation..
smiles and laughter of him ,all I could remember..
cause would he never let his cries to travel far in air...
I'm the one who keeps him lively he say..
all I did has nothing to gain, but a whole world of happiness
to share in my own way...
I can't change the dramatic genre of your story , you confirmed..
but you won't face it all alone as we agreed....
I only wanted you to stay away from desperation...
so that I made some reasons without any hesitation...
but I ain't noticed that my life was heading to bound..
I know I have to see before you, my end..
but I'm glad that I could share some happy stories before I bend..
but give me some time to confess little more..
that the happy stories I made you to listen..
or the happy endings I made you to believe..
was nothing but a sweet lie, told only to bring ,
that flawless curve from your face....
Jul 23, 2021
Jul 23, 2021 at 3:33 AM UTC
I don't know where I'm coming from,
feeling this feeling of wanting you.
I don't know why I kept on bugging myself and asking myself how are you even if we both know that you're with someone else now.
Why I kept on blocking then unblocking you over and over again,
why am I still in love with you.
Maybe because,
yes, I am still into you,
even if you're no longer with me.
and it feels like a happy new year during grieving days.
happy holidays on your wedding day.
and it feels like,
oh God, please.
Give me more strength to fight all the pain that caused me to hate myself more for being not enough.
hating myself for not fighting,
hating myself for letting you to just go,
leave with no words,
leave with no nothing,
hating myself cause I kept on blaming myself and
asking myself, why
why all these things happen
and all the answer leads me to go back to you,
and simply reminding myself,
"You've loved him more than what you can give and you left nothing for yourself so don't ask why".
You are enough,
but he didn't bother appreciating you for who you are
and it's ok.
Honey, it's ok,
you can still be who you are,
Love anyone you want
and let Love destroy you
and mold you over and over again.
Let love be the answer to all your hates,
to all you're anxiety,
and to all your hopes, dreams, and your future.
Let love in and let her do the job for you.
Let love in.
**
Jan 25, 2019
Jan 25, 2019 at 12:00 AM UTC
Lonely me, thence lonely world,
No fun, no work does it hold.
Sitting by the window and gazing at the bay,
I’m counting grains and counting days.
Slowly does it pass, with no hobbies and no aim;
Life ain’t just a game, matter not what others say.
Looking at the calendar, with nothing to do,
Just counting years and counting days.
Alone on the strand, a pioneer so gay,
Not caring what others hafta say.
Lying on the ground and watching the sky,
I’m counting stars and counting days.
A private island, a pirate yacht,
And a privateer company of myself.
By the ocean, staring at the watch,
I’m counting hours and counting days.
So messy has life become,
So unruly have dreams become.
Help myself, I may,
But by counting thoughts and counting days?..
Loads of work, but none to worry,
Wasted my leisure, felt no sorry.
No idea what my future holds,
But I am sure,
It’ll, as usual, pass by
Just counting rays and counting days...
May 3, 2018
May 3, 2018 at 5:55 AM UTC
...That you don't hate me for what I wrote.
I have no other way.
I'm stuck here counting days.
What happened to me?
Apr 20, 2017
Apr 20, 2017 at 10:30 PM UTC