#cosplay
My existence feels like a crime,
cosplaying the best version of me
with a ridiculous smile.
That me is not me.
But for heaps of flowers and praise,
I might as well go on
with my finest kind of lie.
But with all those spotlights
where others seem to drown,
I’m told to reach so far,
to chase the blinding light,
to prove I can burn beneath it.
That’s what I find among all,
my dearest kind of dream.
But when I’m out of sight,
when I’m not not me,
just me, me, me—
no costumes to wear,
no light to burn—
the lowest part of me
holds neither a dream
nor a lie.
Feb 26
Feb 26, 2026 at 3:24 PM UTC
Everything I know and love—
Are just some pretty words.
Neither I find myself in them,
Nor did I ever tried to find them.
Oh, how I do adore cosplay,
In silks and lace I drift, I sway.
I wear the dresses, to dance among them,
Bask in their gaze, smile in their awe.
To slowly drown in the flow.
To do love them. To do hate them.
To hate it—yet return again,
To hover near familiar pain.
To seek the thing I claim to flee—
To show the purest form of hypocrisy.
To do not want pain—
To do want pain.
To be hurt, yet sit upon the edge,
To view the world beyond the ledge,
So beautiful, so awful, so complete.
To still wait, for someone to meet,
To push me, off the edge,
Cause I can’t myself…
I just can’t myself…
To not crave desire,
To still care.
To want to cry,
To want to not.
To touch, to pull—
To do not…
To exist… in probability…
To be lost… in the farthest ends of reality…
…
Everything I know and love—
Are just some pretty words.
Neither they make myself love,
Nor they fixing my broken world.
Jun 10, 2025
Jun 10, 2025 at 2:24 AM UTC
In this unholy battle,
We're acceptable collateral?
Why is this accepted?
It's not even ethical
Distract, create a spectacle
Like, oh I don't know,
A traveling circus
Call it a big tent revival
Keep your intellectual
To an abysmal level
View who believe you
To truly be the cesspool
From car to front door, time to mingle
A hive mind kicks in, single file
Resembling a slaughterhouse line
Cosplaying as unaware cattle
Only the needy need the label to be biblical
Instantly non consequential
Tell me, who's more feared,
A specific god or his devil?
Is it possible be honest though?
Any chance of pausing the show?
And collectively admit
The only truth is...we don't know
©2024
Mar 15, 2024
Mar 15, 2024 at 4:20 AM UTC
#
Compartmentalized;
..An elevated view of you
shows booth, after booth,
*after booth, after booth,
after booth, after booth,
after booth, after booth,
after booth, after booth,
after booth, after booth,
after booth, after booth,*
.. after booth, after booth
Each one partitioned with
an impenetrable curtain
hanging off of a bone-frame
stainless steel pipe structure,
Built high enough for the
different parts of you
to sense, but not feel..
what part of you
is in the other booth.
Problem is,
You want and expect
me to orbit around it all
as if each isolated part
is, in itself..
actually the whole you..
when I know it is only
a tremendously-lonely
part of the whole.
And you take love to be
some form of blindness
on my part
--to the elephant in the room,
And I tell you I love you..
And I tell you,
"No.. I won't do it"
--And your shame kicks in
causing you to feel
I'm too harsh..
or being judgemental.
Yet all along, you are knowing--
That just a few moments with me..
and the walls come tumbling down.
. . . . . .
When the partitions drop
*(that is your terror)
(that is your horror)*
You will not annihilate
into a million fragments
of nothingness
The you(s).. of you
will meet one another
for the very first time
since you were first dismembered
(fragmented, so very long ago.)
You will not disintegrate, love..
You will Re- integrate.
Love does that. It does.
But you already know that.
Yet still you hide (.. from me.)
You are addicted to the 'comfort'
the partitions's isolation brings.
Your relationship is not with
the sum of the parts as a whole..
but with the internal "construct" within you--
the chasm.. the gap..
--the empty space between those parts;
as it uninstalls one part of the intricate you
and re-installs the next
And you have no idea how to
orchestrate
the many different parts of you
like a conductor would do
with his orchestra.. therefore,
You can only be in relationship
with one part of yourself at a time--
..Each partitioned 'self'
has an e-mail address
Each one has
a separate account of its own..
Each one, within itself.. convinced
that it carries within itself
its own, separate genetic imprint
Each one, you can milk
within its incompleteness
as if it in itself, is complete--
.. Flaunting it, flaunting it;
as though it is the complete you
while all other necessary parts of the whole
remain dangerously dormant..
--being Unholy-ghosted by
whatever currently-visible part of you
now has control of the ship.
--And throughout the years
I am expected to weather the storm
and gather pieces, from pieces..
and then magically (oh.. I can..)
piece them all together as I speak to you
without you having to even feel
the tension (absurdity) of the
mis-placed accountability
(and responsibility)
to enter into love
as a Whole (the sum of many parts)
And so here I am.. orbiting
orbiting orbiting--
around your ever-changing mood swings;
the "Paul-is-good," one day
and "Paul-is-bad," the next,
*(those ever-changing perspectives,
gaslighting.. gaslighting.. gaslighting)*
--in order that you might remain 'the same'
based on whatever current-visible part of you
is currently at the helm..
The current pilot of the ship
wholly unaware of the leadership styles,
opinions and views of that of the last.
Harsh sounding.. I know..
(but you know..)
And so, here's the rub--
You are feeling your days
to be numbered..
You have been around me
too long, love.
(that is your fault) You knew.
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4159831/tourniquet-smiles-yeah-that/
I wrote that such a long time ago
We are getting closer to Home, love.
I wrote this strange little ditty
before I wrote that other one..
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/3383529/fragments/
What you have feared most
has now given way
to the sound of inevitability
*(You should have ran
..but you didn't.)*
..The sound of inevitability
isn't really a sound at all..
***..It is the sound of you still
standing there.***❤
#
Jul 3, 2023
Jul 3, 2023 at 11:00 PM UTC
my **** is hard
throbbing
inside you
as you straddle
and ride me
i need more
to go over
the edge
humiliation
shame
pain
slap my face
hard
harder
i want to feel
your anger
loathing
contempt
call me names
degrading
hurtful
mean it
when you call me
loser
disgusting
reject
Jul 4, 2021
Jul 4, 2021 at 2:25 PM UTC
*** for me
baby girl
moan
with pleasure
rake
your nails
across
my chest
make it
hurt
prove
your love
for me
in blood
Jul 4, 2021
Jul 4, 2021 at 11:21 PM UTC
kiss
bit my lips
taste
my flesh
my fresh blood
choke me
like you mean it
to and pass the point
where i panic
claw and scratch
cry to exists
Jul 8, 2021
Jul 8, 2021 at 9:50 PM UTC
kitten
eyes so bright
alive
sweet
demure
you’d be
a great mother
wife and lover
you’re the type
of woman
a man cherishes
steps up
willingly
provides protects
builds a family
kitten
will you marry me
have children
live happily
to the end of eternity
with me
Jul 20, 2021
Jul 20, 2021 at 10:15 PM UTC
i'm done
role playing
hold me
in your arms
i want to be
the little spoon
tonight
Jul 8, 2021
Jul 8, 2021 at 10:06 PM UTC
come here
baby girl
get into bed
with daddy
take off
your nighty
lay on top of me
i need to feel you
skin to skin
against me
lay your head
upon my chest
feel the up and down
of your breath
hear your heartbeat
your sighs in my ear
Jul 20, 2021
Jul 20, 2021 at 9:27 PM UTC
dance for me
slave girl
move your body
swing your arms
****** me
with your hips
tease me
relentlessly
turn me on
make my ****
hard
May 15, 2021
May 15, 2021 at 7:03 PM UTC
bring me wine
and food
quench my thirst
my hunger
dance for me
slow sensuously
arouse me
with your body
lie with me
satisfy
my needs
my fantasies
Jul 2, 2021
Jul 2, 2021 at 9:19 PM UTC
the intensity
of your doe eyes
looking at me
is more
than i can bear
i avert
my eyes
bow
my head
i start to blush
afraid
my true feelings
will be revealed
how can this be
i am the master
you
the slave
Jul 2, 2021
Jul 2, 2021 at 9:58 PM UTC
this moment
sets the mood
naked
afraid
vulnerable
you stand
before me
released
from your collar
chains
lying on furs
softy crying
i brand you
with an iron
so all
will know
you
are mine
Jul 2, 2021
Jul 2, 2021 at 10:15 PM UTC
awh, Little, you’re so sweet
waiting for daddy by the door
lavishing him with love and kisses
awh, Little, you’re so sweet
you want to play
daddy will
after he sits on the couch
and rests for a bit
awh, Little, you’re so sweet
turning on Disney
getting me sweet tea
and a plate of cookies
awh, Little, you’re so sweet
covering me with a blankie
cuddling up with daddy
and watching tv
awh, Little, you’re so sweet
i am so lucky
to have you
Mar 18, 2021
Mar 18, 2021 at 8:55 PM UTC
“daddy, why do you love me.”
i love
how you make me feel
bring out
the daddy in me
to provide
protect
give you everything
you’re so small
vulnerable
helpless
you are
his little
his baby girl
his kitten
daddy’s heart
softens
warms
when you hug
dote
seek his love
and attention
sit in his lap
wrap your arms
around his neck
you are daddy’s
little girl
*************************************
“husband, why do you love me.”
i love you as
a friend
a partner,
but most of all
as a soul mate
you’ve made me better
given me
a sense of purpose
grounded me
held my hand
opened my heart
allowed me
to express
share my
innermost feelings
shed tears
and not judged me
*************************************
“that, my wife & little is why i love you so”
Mar 14, 2021
Mar 14, 2021 at 11:51 AM UTC
“sweetie”
“yes daddy”
“it’s time for bed’
“daddy”
“yes sweetie”
“i don’t want to got to bed”
“sweetie”
“yes daddy”
“it’s past your bedtime”
“daddy”
“yes sweetie”
“if i go to bed. will you pet me”
“yes sweetie”
“daddy”
“yes sweetie”
“will you stroke my hair”
“yes sweetie”
“and kiss my tummy”
“yes sweetie”
“daddy”
“yes sweetie”
“will you kiss me down there”
“only if you go to bed”
“daddy”
“yes sweetie”
“i’m in bed”
Mar 8, 2021
Mar 8, 2021 at 8:32 PM UTC
kitten
it’s time for bed
go brush your teeth
daddy will turn down your bed
come here
daddy will undress you
hop on the bed
let me take off your shoes
and slide off your socks
look at those pretty toes
stand up
put your hands up to the sky
there you go
let’s take off that sundress
oh how cute
your ******* have a little bow
i’ll slide them down
now step out
there you go
goodness kitten
you’re so petty
with no clothes
give daddy a kiss
mmm, kitten, you’re so sweet
now into bed you go
daddy will cuddle
and read you a story
and stay by your side
till you fall asleep
Mar 8, 2021
Mar 8, 2021 at 7:58 PM UTC
sweetie, what’s a matter
you’re afraid
of the lightning & thunder
sweetie, of course
you can sleep with daddy
crawl into bed
snuggle up, next to me
i’ll protect, keep you safe
sweetie, you are naked
where are your PJs
what, you want to cuddle
spoon, skin to skin
daddy’s arms tight around you
sweetie, go to sleep
daddy is tired
what, you can’t sleep
you want daddy to pet you
till you fall asleep
sweetie, stop wiggling
daddy can’t sleep
or worst, will get an ********
bad girl, see what happened
sweetie, settle down
what, you are *****
need daddy inside you
sweetie, my little angel
kiss daddy
as i make love to you
Mar 7, 2021
Mar 7, 2021 at 10:20 PM UTC
you are mine
i own you
bought
off the auction block
for twenty
gold coins
a slave girl
for my
****** pleasure
a swedish collar
around your neck
a kajira brand
on your thigh
symbols
of your submission
a reminder
i am your master
Jan 4, 2021
Jan 4, 2021 at 7:35 PM UTC
you like it
when daddy
washes your hair
the shampoo
the water
my hands
massaging
your head
i know
you do
you lean
your head
back
pressing
into
my fingers
moaning softly
i kiss
your neck
shoulders
you turn
around
kiss daddy
on the lips
i stand you up
in the tub
rinse you off
wrap you up
in a towel
lift you up
in my arms
put you down
on the bed
comb your hair
gently
untangling
the knots
brushing
straightening
your hair
you are
my angel
but most of all
you’re
daddy’s little girl
Feb 27, 2021
Feb 27, 2021 at 9:43 PM UTC
i miss
your naked body
thighs
spread wide
receptive and submissive
of me
being on top
dominating
looking into your eyes
legs wrapped
around me
kissing your breast
licking the sweat
tasting the salt
smelling your scent
your disheveled hair
i need to be inside
be one
connect
intimate
my ****
touching your lips
penetrating
sliding inside
your wetness
and body heat
arouse me
Jan 12, 2021
Jan 12, 2021 at 10:48 PM UTC
whips
lashes
sound of leather
on my flesh
pain
pleasure
mixed
confused
with ecstasy
i cry
laugh
aroused
wet
with desire
flinching
at your touch
succumbing
to your lips
delicious
eternal
kisses
beat me
Master
i am
yours
Feb 27, 2021
Feb 27, 2021 at 8:50 PM UTC
daddy
hold me tight
in your arms
let me cry
reassure me
everything
will be alright
protect
provide
remind me
i’m the center
of your life
a porcelain princess
on a golden pedestal
kiss me
tell me
you’ll love me
unconditionally
Feb 27, 2021
Feb 27, 2021 at 8:55 PM UTC
did you miss daddy
the hugs
the kiss
being close
being cuddled
skin to skin
the body heat
being petted
feeling pleasure
of being touched
down there.
Jan 12, 2021
Jan 12, 2021 at 10:09 PM UTC