#copingmechanism
Thoughts flood my head
“No one likes you.”
“You don’t have enough time.”
“Stop procrastinating.”
“They don’t want you here.”
“You’re horrible.”
“You would be better off dead.”
The plug goes in
Earbuds in my ears
I click play
Lyrics flood my head
The music flows through my veins
My brain stops thinking
Just the sound of the music
Cope
Mar 2
Mar 2, 2026 at 6:20 PM UTC
Life
has become
a game of
finding one
coping mechanism
after another.
Sep 20, 2025
Sep 20, 2025 at 3:49 AM UTC
Nobody ever told me how easy it would be to sin.
Mark my body with scars, swear on God’s name I will never do it again.
Yet I do.
I do it again, again, and again. Like a dog returning to its *****
Eating till I can’t anymore then stare in the mirror and blaming God,
He made me this way. Is it freewill or is it destiny? Is this all part of a mighty plan God having for me?
Self-sabotage disguised as hope.
Duct tape around my mouth and thighs, my ears, and eyes, blindly following instant pleasure for worthless gratification.
People say the saddest people wear the brightest smiles and have the most friends,
but have you ever thought that they don’t hide what’s right there?
Worries cling to me, zoning out now my best friend.
My mum crying about how she failed to raise me properly, but society must come up with a speech to apologise to me.
Anger lingers wherever I go.
Nononono this is not me. This must be the devil, a bad spirit. I can’t move on in the path of inevitable sin and misfortunate.
A distributor of my own darkness. An instigator pushing me to fall.
Music blasting in my ear. One air pod in, the other in the case as I listen to them shouting at one another.
Things will get better.
I must wait and pray.
Jun 28, 2023
Jun 28, 2023 at 2:20 PM UTC
I love the color Red.
Mostly, when it spreads across my mouth
When I bite myself hard enough.
I wince to draw blood for comfort,
Keeping my mind from racing too much.
I can’t get enough of it I confess.
The splash of crimson red
Compliments the tone of my skin.
Makes my face seem less
Pale I suppose.
As painful as it is,
It slows the raging beats of my heart.
Makes the pressure dissipate for a second.
Serenity is in the metallic taste
That I crave like morphine
To a drug addict
Apr 13, 2023
Apr 13, 2023 at 9:41 PM UTC
I put away the dishes
hampering peace of mind
dancing between the counters
handling the quiet
tidying a mess
and unhiding fears
feeling each breath in my throat,
fighting back tears
I picture the most beautiful
and sad, image I've ever had
and wonder if heartache
only gets harder with age
At the arc of my day
Before things go back to different
I shutter in my memories
and put away the dishes
Jul 6, 2021
Jul 6, 2021 at 8:50 PM UTC
it amazes me to come back
to the pieces of art that transcended
from my own mind
it's not comparable to the quiet
the lack of sound not allowing
for those regular thought processes
i saw a sign that introduced me to
thousands of tall green statues
have been being there before
walking in reminded me how it felt
to be numb and lost
overgrown grass, moss, and insects
took over what was
it's month two going onto three
there hasn't been any sign of people
nobody is out looking for me
the way out is guided with red yarn
it's visible, but impossible to see
having the comfort of silence
the heavy winds accompanied with destructive thunder
replacing my routine of what once was
nature having took over me
did it take me there on purpose?
is there a bigger purpose than what i can see?
was this a defense mechanism to the overcrowding fungus consuming my cerebellum? just how bad was this spore that spread into my lungs?
i underestimated the power of my thoughts, and they breached my sense of self, bringing me back to a place i hadn't thought to see again.
this is my time to test whether or not I am capable in the war of my mind. the fight never ended and i am geared up from recovery.
Jun 28, 2020
Jun 28, 2020 at 8:11 PM UTC
I write stories when I'm happy
And poetry when I'm sad
But now I don't write at all
Apr 12, 2018
Apr 12, 2018 at 8:14 AM UTC