#continuous
“You are under no obligation to remain the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or even a day ago. You are here to create yourself, continuously.”
Richard Feynman
<>
perhaps
you are among the many who state,
I will do things differently today!
or
amidst the few,
who actually do
most of us satisfied by our resolution,
go back to sleep and let our
daily dissolution succumbing
pleasantly ****** us into
the nirvana of familiar
repetition
We speak not of the little compromises
that satisfy for periods too brief:
denying yourself a meal,
or having just one less cuppa
of English Breakfast Tea,
Blue Mountain Java beans,
or skipping breakfast entirely
a face saving gesture to the
odyssey perpetual
of losing those friendly
five pounds that “just”
snuck aboard
<>
know that we all peer
into my famous
bathroom
mirror
conducting a head to toe review
of our very deepest buried
burdensome “to do list”
that charge you to be changed,
that discharge your guilt long lasting,
Oh, those things that truly matter
to which we,
thanks to Richard,
we reorganize and add a
first poem, the top priority
of this new mewling twenty four hours:
today,
I will continuously
wright/write
be a maker & builder,
yes, writer,two,
of
myself anew
and not copy
all that I wish not to;
here goes my first daily,
a myself poem of every new day
of my
interval upon this green Earth
a seed step tiny
to grow a forest
continuing
Oct 6, 2024
Oct 6, 2024 at 8:11 AM UTC
Everyday I fall more and more in love with the sun.
Feb 3, 2021
Feb 3, 2021 at 9:51 AM UTC
beady eyes
intent on watching my every move,
continuously following me
as i pace around the room
and it is dark,
for i cannot see
but i know these beady eyes are staring at me.
Mar 17, 2019
Mar 17, 2019 at 1:26 AM UTC
⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜⇝
.Sir murmurs feverish death
spells,
Bewitched hysteria enchanted elven
ears,
Violin strings of stuttering velvet
echo,
vacuity beguile cracked
telescopes,
Sir’s feigned ruby lips
lament.
⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜⇝
⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜⇝
.Draperies comb the purple
hare,
Riveted coats sneeze in the
pallor,
Stabilizing the drunken
absences,
Late violets exhale in
tedium.
⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜⇝
⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜⇝
.Sir views tree sagging in dirt
coffins,
In fabricated
tranquility,
With pleasant booming
hums.
⇜⇝⇜⇝
⇜⇝⇜⇝
.Sirs deteriorating dense
chasms,
Encounter convenient
disorientation.
⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜
⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜⇝⇜
.Spotted desolate greenery a hafted ax of
demise.
⇜⇝⇜⇝
Sep 18, 2018
Sep 18, 2018 at 1:28 PM UTC
you meet someone on accident,
wether they were in your freshman year calc class, or you ran into them at the grocery store
something about them draws you in
maybe it's their radiating smile, or their intoxicating eyes
they find a way to make your lips curve up in the happiest way
you start talking to them
this person makes you laugh,
they make you smile for the first time in a while
they start to become special to you
your interactions start increasing until you two are closer than ever
you have told them things you thought you'd never be able to admit
your long talks take hundreds of pounds off your shoulders
you don't feel trapped anymore
happiness can't help but flow through your veins
but after you've hit this peak, things will start to change
you won't talk as much anymore
your laugh will start to become weaker
that smile won't be as bright
their radiating eyes lose that certain effect on you
your talks become shorter and less meaningful
soon enough you will talk for the last time, but you won't realize it at the time
one day you will part like you usually do,
but that will be the last time
your calls will become vague, until they are nonexistent
you won't talk anymore
you won't effect each other anymore
and you won't think about each other anymore
you go back to your daily lives,
until you find someone new
and even then, the cycle continues.
Jun 3, 2018
Jun 3, 2018 at 2:59 PM UTC
Pin
My mouth has stopped speaking,
My eyes have stopped seeing.
My words are no longer written…
I have no imagination for dreaming.
No feeling for screaming,
No passion to believe in,
No happiness for me;
Only misery.
I have nothing left beneath my rib cage.
Forever trapped in all ways,
In a million mile maze;
No way to relate to the lives people play.
Lost in all ways to your nation of islands;
All stand united, I make no demand.
Ask for no place to barter, life is a non-starter;
Never seen a wedding garter in these days of haze.
Left dazed and confused, with nothing to soothe,
The constant blues, who knew?
Not me, I never did. Did you?
My empathy? You can keep it!
My apathy lacks all my cares.
Don’t ask me where they are; I am stood at the bottom of stairs
And the first step is too far; I stare into stars,
Looking for a future, but no luck so far.
Let my coffin be gift wrapped, I will not cause a fuss.
Just lay down to rest;
Robot ready to rust and dust is all that will remain;
Because even when I go I will still hold on,
To every searing scar of my pain.
The pain is all I am left with and all I know.
No encore to this show, please, I cannot repeat myself anymore.
I have said enough.
Close the door.
Remove the good vibrations, silence the dawn chorus.
People were sent here only to test us!
Act 1 – I lived.
Forget Act 2.
Think only of you, like all others do
And when I am run through in this queue,
Where we are all waiting to die,
When Fuck! My! Life!
Is in the hands of a non-believer;
The fingers no nearer to touching a soul.
Why am I growing so old?
Why am I always so cold,
To everything they think and say,
For they cannot think, without saying it.
Pins and needles, my nerves are talking,
The timer is ticking and it does not bring anything.
All will soon be gone from this basket-case of mine.
Life is a swine, soak it in wine,
Right on time for the next nasty surprise.
I sigh, I sign my name, my life and oh the days I will never forget.
I have tried…
To forget;
But no luck yet.
No thought for regret.
Contemplate…
Wait…
I have never seen a happy day, 24-seven-straight.
A constant pain, happiness never even looked my way.
Always broken like biscuits at the bottom of the barrel.
Quickly kissed, forgotten even quicker; I hate Christmas Carols
And New Year celebrations because they are all the same.
Each and every year is another year of pain.
I am a faded picture on a damaged milk carton,
Never going to get a heart won,
Because a loser only loses love
And I am lost in a life that is a cartoon.
Drop an anvil on my head so I can see the stars…
And the end.
Love is the pin to my balloon.
(C)2018 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Apr 25, 2018
Apr 25, 2018 at 10:32 AM UTC
Mom, what do you do at work?
well my little chickadee
I put flies, in jeans
and extra zippers, are a perk
Hey there Dad, how was your day?
I plugged the holes in 55 flat tires
if I had my way, and say
you know, that I'd retire
Sis, how did it go, on the assembly line?
the repetitive motions and tasks
get to my arms and back
and may just break, my spine
Yo Bro, was today an exciting trip?
it's always a good day, driving my truck
when I didn't jack-knife
or my trailer, flip
I've always pondered, and thought
just what some people live, and do
earning a living for their families
and the hell, that they, go through
Sep 21, 2017
Sep 21, 2017 at 9:07 AM UTC
My heart retired a jockey,
A disc jockey,
Composing and singing songs.
Now I am so much tired,
It is so tired,
Of all the heartbreaks they gave.
Jan 6, 2017
Jan 6, 2017 at 11:48 AM UTC
I carry my mother’s words like a prayer
I memorise them like a mantra
Because when people don’t speak words do
her Words are thicker than water
Nov 28, 2015
Nov 28, 2015 at 1:55 PM UTC
The truth about my recovery?
I lied
I told the truth
I was better.
So much better
a different person
truly, really,
not the me that was dying to die a year previous.
for six years the monsters consumed me
It starts so subtle.
She’s skinnier.
‘No I’m on a diet’
‘I’m a size 0’
your best friend skips lunches.
slowly, surely, the monster slips into your head.
your nightmares are living
compulsions start.
too young.
don’t eat in front of people.
one granola bar will get you through practice until home.
and all the comments egging you on.
‘you aren’t skinny enough for that..’
‘but if you eat salad all summer’
Soon you can’t look at yourself.
Soon the Monster of self hatred turns you to more
because the diets aren’t enough
so spring break after a bowl of corn chips
you close the bathroom door
and the porcelain becomes your ally.
friends may know.
but you can be sneaky.
after all, how else would you manage your size?
Eventually it isn’t enough, you want quicker results.
And the monsters of self hatred are eating you up.
you’ve grown now of course.
pushed away friends who knew who wanted you to get help.
Because this Monster, This darkness in your mind,
your only friend.
No more food.
leave crumbs and a buttered kife.
anything eaten, behind the bathroom door.
And very soon
The blades come out to play.
So intriguing how easy it is.
and how simple to hide.
What an easy release.
17 and 110 lbs, covered in scars on her hips.
I did get help.
I went to therapy.
I loved it.
I didn’t just change these acts
I changed myself.
But I wasn’t better, I was anxious
to be done with it
to be set free.
So I stopped going.
when I wasn't totally ready.
I thought I was happy..
But is that why I relapsed?
It was only once.
But is that why I still find myself depressed?
Sometimes suicidal?
Is it my fault?
It’s usually my fault so I can see how it would be.
I lied.
That’s the truth.
And
*I
Don’t
Know.*
But I do know
this recovery is a continuous fight.
And I just wonder
Where am I now?
Oct 18, 2014
Oct 18, 2014 at 12:32 AM UTC
Sometimes
I feel like a terrible person
I've fallen into this kind of pattern
I can't seem to shake
I'm not quite sure
From where I've picked it up
But
I think -- I'm pretty sure
I'd rather be without it
Jul 17, 2014
Jul 17, 2014 at 5:41 PM UTC