#confessions
A good-looking man,
an honest smile
direction wrapped in poor presentation.
I breathe in your sedatives,
let the darkness
swallow me whole.
There are no questions left
you are the answer.
And still, I carve into you,
though you are younger.
I crave you
only to ruin your innocence,
to bleed you dry
of everything I envy.
This is my daily ritual:
I draw you in
with a sweetness unseen,
then drain you
of the very essence
I resent.
When I speak, you don’t listen
you hear only what you want.
But I don’t blame you.
That’s how I know
you’re already mine.
Were you a target?
Maybe.
I sip something sparkling
a small sin
for a “good girl” like me.
Still, I indulge.
You are art
meant to be studied, touched, unraveled.
And I
a thief
whispering lies like secrets.
Control was never the plan…
but something as rare as you
begs to be used.
Cards laid bare.
Go on
guess my next move.
All hands on deck
as I deal you a new truth
about women like me.
Apr 13
Apr 13, 2026 at 8:11 AM UTC
This morning began with discipline.
A clear mind.
Plans arranged like soldiers.
A wedding somewhere in the city
that meant nothing to me.
I had already decided
I would not go.
Crowds have never tempted me.
Noise has never persuaded me.
My days belong to quieter battles.
Then your name entered the morning.
Just one small sentence--you are going.
And suddenly
the entire day leaned slightly in your direction.
I tried to remain reasonable.
After all, what is one person
in the architecture of a life?
But reason is a poor guard
against certain eyes.
So I stood there arguing with myself
while the engine of my bike refused to start.
Perhaps machines understand fate
better than men.
By the time I considered the bus
you had already left.
The road closed.
And that should have been the end of it.
Yet something curious happened.
Instead of returning to my books,
to my ambitions,
to the tall mountains of the future--
my mind travelled with you.
I remembered something small
you once said in passing:
“I get sick in buses.”
Such a simple confession.
But today
that sentence carried weight.
Suddenly I could see it-- a moving bus,
dust in the afternoon light,
your face turned slightly toward the window
trying to escape the rhythm of the road.
Later I heard
you went to the station instead.
Now the picture changed.
A platform.
Crowds pressing forward.
A train breathing smoke and metal.
And somewhere in that restless tide
you--standing quietly among strangers.
Tell me honestly:
why should this matter to me? A rational man
would call this unnecessary tenderness.
He would say a disciplined life
has no time for such wandering thoughts.
Perhaps he is correct.
Even I suspect this level of attention
may be slightly absurd.
And yet--truth does not always obey logic.
Today
this is where my mind lived.
Between a wedding I never attended
and a train I never boarded.
Between the man I am trying to become
and the quiet gravity
of a girl
who does not even know
that her simple journey home
became the entire geography
of my day.
Maybe tomorrow
I will laugh at this.
Maybe tomorrow
reason will return
and place everything back
into neat order. But tonight
I will not lie to myself.
Today one ordinary girl
walking through an ordinary day
somehow managed
to turn a disciplined man’s mind
into poetry!!
WORK FROM:
To her who already knows
Mar 13
Mar 13, 2026 at 2:30 PM UTC
My phone is filled with confessions,
every word, every line, a devotion.
All of it is part of a conversation
I have with God in every prayer session.
I always told Him about you—
He knows how deeply I admire you.
In every prayer I ever made,
your name was always included,
and I know it’s been heard
a hundred times over.
Maybe one day
you’ll stumble upon one of my poems.
Read it slowly.
Don’t linger too long on the imagery—
look instead for the lesson,
for the quiet growth
of a poet’s love
learning how to act.
Feb 21
Feb 21, 2026 at 10:07 AM UTC
I shared my poems
with you yesterday —
you noticed how sad
my words were.
“Who broke your heart?”
you asked,
like you weren’t the one
I wrote every ache about.
How do I tell you
that I secretly
fell in love with you?
After all, you were the bell,
and I was the forgotten church
you never rang.
Dec 7, 2025
Dec 7, 2025 at 11:38 AM UTC
The lies I tell myself
Grow in me like a root planted by the hate I give myself
If love is real then truth is the only thing
That can heal me
I tried running away
But the desire to breath keeps calling me
These lies must face real eyes
To realize that they are real lies
Oct 25, 2025
Oct 25, 2025 at 3:26 PM UTC
i said, would you wear my shoes
you said no, you have never used such shoes, you don’t imagine you can
and i said well that’s good
wear this hat then, i said
i will walk with you in the scorching sun, maybe offer you shade
you said no, you got to make appearances
would you read my soul, i asked
you said - no, it’s not what i read
i said okay, what if i give my shoes, hats, soul, blood and flesh
no you said, you don’t feel like it
okay, i said, i’ll write everything down then
but i restrained the spill,
until my body was full of perforations
Apr 18, 2025
Apr 18, 2025 at 12:00 PM UTC
I wanna write about our first date,
Suddenly blinded by this twist of fate.
I never thought we’d be running on borrowed time.
I swear your lips felt as if they belonged against mine.
Your smile lit up my life, warm like a crackling fire,
Wordless passion made a feast of our mutual desire.
Yet, your hands, they spoke of safety and softness and peace.
Wrapped within your embrace, I found the sweetest release.
The world would have us star-crossed,
please, mi amor, don't accept that our future is lost.
I still hold on to the dream, the one of you and me.
A steady candlelight vigil, a flame of hope, in my heart for only you to see.
Though it aches and cries for our stolen melody.
I still hold on to our dream, the one of you and me.
Minutes feel like hours, days toil like years.
Every moment passing, I wish I could ease your fears.
I want to be your safe place, where you can finally breathe.
I want to be your comfort, not just someone you'll be forced to leave.
You taught me words and shared your ways,
I was counting down the days.
Piojito, a soothing caress.
Running my fingers lightly through your hair and down your back to chase away your stress.
The other part of me was found in you the moment we met.
I was yours without yet knowing, there’s no way I can forget.
Your voice drowned out the static, always putting me at ease.
Those dark eyes reflected promises and made me so eager to please.
Jan 26, 2025
Jan 26, 2025 at 8:30 PM UTC
Was the air and space between us?
were the moments we spent ever together?
little was
The amount of silence I can hold to myself
around you
Oct 21, 2024
Oct 21, 2024 at 10:54 PM UTC
I know how I want to say it,
On a walk in our spot at the park,
On that slab of inflatable concrete,
I want to ask you if this is a mistake,
That if what I’m about to say is gonna mess everything up.
I hope you’ll know what I’m talking about,
You probably won’t though,
That’s if I even get that far in the first place.
Sep 30, 2024
Sep 30, 2024 at 5:06 AM UTC
So darling
In the moments that exist
With you on the pavement
When night
I want to look in your eyes
And say the words
I love you
With a voice that holds the softest might
Sep 16, 2024
Sep 16, 2024 at 11:45 AM UTC
Do you feel my PAIN??
And YEAH I got a LOT OF IT!!
HAPPINESS is what I LACK,
I'm hurting EMOTIONALLY,
I MUST ADMIT.
YOU SAY YOU KNOW
HOW I FEEL!!!
And I call out,
B******T!!!
Like a CAR FLYING 105MPH,
My FEELINGS just got HIT!!
I DON'T MEAN TO SOUND SO HARSH
JUST EXPRESSING
HOW I FEEL!!!
PAIN HAS WEASLED
ITS UGLY LITTLE HEAD,
WRITING IS MY ONLY WAY
TO DEAL!!
LIKE A LOCOMITIVE MAKING
AN IMPACT TO MY SOUL!!
GIVES A MIGHTY ******
A POWERFUL BLOW!!!
I'm not just SAD,
I'M NOT JUST HAPPY,
A MIND FULL OF
EMOTIONS GOT ME
FEELING SO ******
THIS UP AND DOWN EMOTIONS
GOT ME FEELING REALLY SNAPPY,
DEALING WITH THIS PAIN MAKES ME FEEL SO UNHAPPY!!
I DONT KNOW HOW TO FEEL
HAPPY, SAD
ANGRY, OR MAD
I MUST make a CONFESSION!!
I'm DEALING with DEPRESSION,
because of LIFE'S ACTIONS,
This is a FULL COURSE LESSON
I'm LEARNING from this TEMPORAL PAIN!!
A LONG and DRAWN out SESSION!!
B.R.
01/27/2023
Sep 7, 2024
Sep 7, 2024 at 1:59 PM UTC
I can't express it enough times;
I keep putting down these rhymes;
I keep spitting these lines,
as my inspiring words
comes to ones mind.
I'm giving out expressions,
My lines are like Lessons,
More like a full Confession,
I just want to be a Blessing.
I Express the way I feel,
For, this Poetist is Real
I give rhymes like everyday,
Turn your gray clouds
to a Sunny Day!!!
When you don't have a clue,
believe, I go through struggles too
I know just how you feel
This Love for you is Real!!!
Through good or bad weather,
We'll get through it together!!!!
B.R.
Date: 02/10/2023
Sep 1, 2024
Sep 1, 2024 at 7:55 PM UTC
Quiet as a CHURCH MOUSE,
I don't MAKE A SOUND,
SPEAKING LOUDLY in my MIND,
Cos, of the PEOPLE ALL AROUND!!!
■~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~■
I want to SPEAK OUT LOUD TO YOU,
I have SO MUCH I want to SAY,
Just SPILLING OUT MY GUTS, but
In a LOW KEY kind of WAY!!!
■~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~■
SILENT UNSPOKEN CONFESSIONS,
That are Needing to BE OUTSPOKEN,
In ORDER for you to COMPREHEND,
I am TORN and MY HEART IS BROKEN,
■~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~■
I need to STOP BEING SO SILENT,
SO DOCILE, and SO KIND,
PUT MY BIG GIRL PANTS ON, and
REALLY RANT TO YOU WHAT'S ON MY MIND!!!!
■~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~■
I'M TIRED OF HOLDING IT IN,
THESE ARE ONLY PART OF LIFE LESSONS,
IT'S TIME FOR US TO HAVE A STERN TALK,
OF THESE SILENT UNSPOKEN CONFESSIONS!!!!
B.R.
Date: 6/19/2024
Aug 25, 2024
Aug 25, 2024 at 11:24 AM UTC
During finals week, I’d spent days on various reports and papers, scribbling in the margins of notes and books, checking facts, revising flashcards and prepping with friends.
I’ve an unshakable faith in plodding persistence.
We were tested and sent packing.
Today, I’m in Geneva, with Peter (my bf). He works for CERN. I’m on vacation - but he has to work sigh. Peter apartments with a roommate, so, oh-darn, we had to make alternate arrangements.
We’re ensconced at the fabulous Hotel de la Paix. It’s my treat, I’ve been dorm-roomed for months, and Vive la différence!
The hallways are hushed here, as if moss-covered - noises fade quickly after use. The purposeful quiet feels physical, like a cotton covered fairytale hug after noisy dorm life - where doors slam and people yell at 3am.
Freshly cut flowers accent with color, and infuse the suite with scents that calm and relax like subconscious aromatherapy. This is the land of chocolate, and little treats are stashed everywhere to surprise and delight.
I’m a cryophile - from the Greek "kryos" (cold) and "philos" (lover) - I like my environment cold. In the dead of New Haven winter, when it’s 20°f, I sleep with my dorm room windows open and I seldom use more than a sheet for cover. When Peter would sleepover, he’d try and close the windows, “GEE-zus,” he’d say.
“Don’t be a big baby,” I’d suggested, generously cracking them back open again, “I’ll keep you warm.”
That being said, have you ever slept under freshly starch-pressed egyptian-cotton sheets?’
The cotton is orchid petal light and soft - the starch-pressing means the top sheet stands-off your skin, only barely resting on you, as needed - like an angel's kiss.
At college, I handle the menial chores of daily existence, like laundry service, and there are no freshly pressed sheets.
Hmm.. ok, something poetic-ish
*Our experiences are stacked,
laid and layered like bricks.
We’re making something
but the form isn’t clear.
Is it solid and cohesive
- will it last - who knows?*
I’d been Facetimimg with Lisa (she’ll join us next Friday), while Peter looked through some work papers. Since he isn’t on vacation, he wants to finish something before we leave for Paris tomorrow, where we’ll meet my parents for mothers-day.
As I came into the bedroom, Peter, propped up on the bed, said, “You ladies were talking for a while.” And still not looking up from his papers, he added, “How’s Lisa?”
I thought I’d made a firm decision - but now I was afraid.
Still, after a moment - I just blurted it out, saying, “I told her I love you.”
I’d said it in a rush - my pounding heart sounded like thunder.
He looked up. “You did?” He asked, radiating an irritating amount of pleasure.
As I’d said it, I felt a relief that turned into a wave of anxiety verging on nausea.
He still had an open mouthed expression of success and pure joy, so I said, “Shut up.”
“Say it again,” he asked, laying down his papers and taking off his reading glasses, “what you said to her.”
For some reason, I felt a sudden hopelessness. “Not now,” I said, turning away.
“Why,” he asked, I could hear the smile in his voice of insistence.
“Because.. reasons.” I explained, then I went into the bathroom and turned on the water.
“Tell me!” He pleaded from the other room.
I felt flushed, and didn’t want to talk, so I squeezed-out too much toothpaste and started to brush my teeth.
“I can’t heah muuf,” I said, purposefully inaudible through a mouth full of suds.
“Anais,” he called, but I closed the bathroom door and leaned back against it.
I suddenly wanted to go home.. or back in time.
Later, I’d calmed down. Was my declaration really a secret - or common knowledge available to the most casual observer?
We’d had dinner room-serviced (Nordic-fusion cuisine from the Fiskebar) but I still felt a little off and moody. We were settled on an uncomfortable, Ikea-like, off-white couch and we’d queued-up ‘Parks and Rec,’ when I had a terrible thought.
“You must think I’m easy,” I voiced it, looking down, my hair hiding my face from him, “the way school ends and I just flee into our arms.”
“You.. EASY?” He said with a chuckle, “NNNOO,” he added snarkily.
I turned on him sharply, tucking my hair back behind my ears for verbal combat. “I feel like I’m being very vulnerable with you and you’re just laughing,” I pronounced.
“ALL right,” he said softly, as he turned and wrapped his arms gently around me, “don’t get yourself all wound-up - or I won’t get a chance to say ‘I love you,’ back.”
.
.
songs for this:
Good Life by Sammy Rae & The Friends
Swingin Party by The Replacements
Redwood Tree by Jamie Drake
All My Girls Like To Fight by Hope Tala
May 11, 2024
May 11, 2024 at 9:28 PM UTC
These are confessions I can never send.
Because they blatantly won't understand
and that is something I need to get,
They don't care for me enough to accept the ways they hurt me and say sorry.
They are hypocrites,
Because they want me to stay weary.
They want me to always let go and cry alone.
They don't care if around them I'm woeful.
Mom,
You always said I was in the wrong,
Cleaning and chores were our only "bond"
You never chose me unless you could brag.
Dad,
You broke my heart,
You'd catch me when I'd fall
But never stuck up for me in the end.
Mom chooses to make me a villain,
All I wanted was her acceptance
but she sees me as a sinner who's selfish,
I should put my pain aside and pretend I'm good.
I will be left to wonder forever,
Why my pain doesn't matter
In comparison to my sister,
Why am I less accepted when I'm in pain?
Dad loves me because he sees himself in me.
I look like him, we share a hobby
but growing up I believed that was the only thing he loved about me
Because one moment he'd be there, but would runaway when I needed him most.
Alone, he would listen,
He would say he'd help me
But in front my mom he was different.
Suddenly, what we said in the car was insignificant.
I'm an adult who doesn't know her needs, wants, and likes
Because I spent my life trying to be accepted.
No one taught me how to accept myself,
Or how to know what I need or want.
If someone cared unconditionally,
I clinged to them.
I hoped they'd never leave,
because I never got that from my family.
Now I'm in therapy, crying in every session
That I'm hurt again because of them,
Or hurt by myself because
I don't know who I am.
Mar 6, 2024
Mar 6, 2024 at 7:17 AM UTC
it's a bittersweet
moment, to leave a
page in the making
a hopeful, beautiful
story
filled with
confessions
and life's lessons.
haunted by a
tragic story
from the beginning,
to the midsummer's
end.
you caught me
right at the moment
when i felt
a little less than.
there's weight in
these lines,
and sometimes
it's hard
to take in.
the words,
just out of focus,
but clear in my
head.
it's a bittersweet
moment,
to leave a page
in the making.
i can't wait
to see you
again.
Sep 2, 2023
Sep 2, 2023 at 1:47 AM UTC
I am irrevocably in love with you.
This is not a poem.
This is a confession.
This is an outpouring of my heart stings.
I am so in love with you that I needed to get it out on the internet and let the world know.
You possess my whole heart.
Oh dear God, I am so ******* in love with you.
Mar 12, 2022
Mar 12, 2022 at 2:31 AM UTC
No devil may care for me tonight'
roaming, hunting a soul.
It is only a tinge of light
illuminating these corridors;
filled room to room with confessions,
murmurs adorn each one of their frames.
Jun 1, 2021
Jun 1, 2021 at 4:14 PM UTC
I climbed up the third nearest hill
to watch the sun set,
on the day that you said
you love me..
Alone before sundown with time to spare.
I hoped to catch it amber and full,
on a hungry mid-cycle race all the way up there -
where exactly, I did not seem to care.
You disarmed me.
And on trial I were.
Alas my time wasn't worth it.
The sun hid behind thick layers of cloud,
the wind picked up and I could sense the rain coming.
It kissed me.
A bypassing train covered all other sound.
And to think I quite longed to hear this,
as if I didn't already know.
The forces of nature felt like an omen.
A warning,
against a tempting last straw.
Not sure how long I ended up sat there,
but Venus rose up to wish me goodnight.
If this is a test,
I’m determined to pass it.
An omen at half-light always means no.
May 9, 2021
May 9, 2021 at 6:11 PM UTC
To love tastes like sweetness
Fresh strawberries
And few drops on skin
It feels like grassy green hills
Starry night skies
And murmured words
Carried across state lines
Letters bundled in brown string
Lavender stems
And wax buttons
To love looks like her eyes
Mountains and earth and life
It looks like sunflowers
And bonfires
And nervous car rides
Sometimes I close my eyes
And her voice is there
At the back of my mind
Her laughter playing over and over
And I think to myself
This
This is what it feels like
But tongues these days
Were made to be held
And I’ve made it a hobby
To keep to myself
And the moments I steal
Between thought and dreaming
I spend realizing that many could do
So much better than this
But love looks a lot
Like who she is to me
Whether it’s not the right time
Or it may never be
And despite my desire
To face the world on my own
The sound of her voice
Never leaves me alone
And I find myself in bed
Lying awake through the night
Smiling at her humor
And thinking she might
Think of me too
And I don’t know why it happened
Why I can’t erase her from my mind
But I find I don’t want to
That I couldn’t if I tried
That every second of her presence
Every moment in time
I spend craving more of her
Always more of her
Feb 9, 2021
Feb 9, 2021 at 11:24 PM UTC