#complicatedlove
I grieve you living,
mourn you whole,
the you I knew already gone
before you go.
This is how the dead stay warm.
This is how I learn to hold a hand
that doesn't know
it's already ash.
and me, I am standing in the hallway
between the two of you,
becoming architecture
nobody planned to live in.
he bleeds. I translate.
I take your blindness and his weight
and make it into something
anyone can carry but me.
to know is to lose what knowing finds. to love is to stand where love unwinds.
this is the thing about being the one in the middle:
you become very good at holding
and very unknown.
the light still comes through the window
the same way it did before.
and I am still here to see it.
that is the thing about people like me
we are built from a love
too stubborn to put down.
and something that loves like that
doesn't disappear.
it just learns
the shape of the new room
and calls it home.
May 22
May 22, 2026 at 10:16 PM UTC
A broken mother loves from a distance
She keeps you at arm's length to prevent her from suffocating you
She can't stand your sadness but will do nothing to restore your happiness
She stays up all night wondering
If you inherited her illness
If by chance you were destined to walk through the same path
Do not mistake her for a bad mom
Loss is the only language she understands
A broken mother will never hide her feelings from you
She will serve you a plate of her deepest scars on her anniversaries
Just like the generous cook she is
She will tell you stories behind the recipe over dessert
She can't stand to see your heart broken
But she will do nothing to make you feel better
Do not mistake her for a bad mom
Heartbreak is the only language she understands
A broken mother will never believe in your dreams
She will make it her duty to remind you of your past failures
Hell will break loose if you ever talk about your nightmares
She can't stand your wounds
But she will do nothing to make them heal
Do not mistake her for a bad mom
Abuse is the only language she understands
Apr 22, 2018
Apr 22, 2018 at 5:55 PM UTC
Night
Eyes are bright
The mind is open, awake, thinking
Thinking of words unspoken
Thoughts flow in and out of my mind
Your embrace, my body aches to feel your warm embrace
Your hands, rough as it may feel my hands long for your hands
Hold me, mold me...
These are the thoughts that flow in and out of my mind
Now I fall into a sleep like trance
Floating around as we dance
This may be our first and last goodbye
But how will we know when all of these are just up in my mind
Night
Eyes are bright
The mind is thinking of words unspoken
Nov 25, 2014
Nov 25, 2014 at 10:48 AM UTC
I want to, but I don't know how.
Always thinking next, never doing now.
You're a mystery and an enigma all in one, Things would be simpler had we not such fun.
Anticipation has me over-thinking,
Over-analyzing, forever sinking.
Over and over I've weighed this through,
Be silent or finally act, what will I do?
Will this time I divulge my thought?
Or yet again my words be caught?
Yearning to find out if there may be something more,
But hold back so you won't shut the door.
As friends we've really had a blast,
Worried if I open my mouth it won't last.
Times about up for there to be a "we",
I suppose now its all up to me.
Searching for the answer, what shall I see?
Time to find out how this should be.
Jun 5, 2014
Jun 5, 2014 at 6:04 PM UTC