#combinations
put all the words
in the world
in my two hands,
each a microscopic dot
of near invisible,
teeming, heaping,
ricochet intersecting
colliding,
cell splendid splitting
leaping,
until they,
wordlessly forming
a sign inquiring,
in neon flashing:
“What did I demand of them?”
”New combinations,” my reply.
how we
laughed together...
as they procreated
My Happy Request*
May 21, 2018
May 21, 2018 at 4:55 PM UTC
writing comes like lightning
I'm fighting this writing
tired of wanting to explain things out
I feel more like im drowning
cause knowing you aren't all right
got me staying up every night .
its night out, all alone out
tryna block these thoughts out
pause the flashback of the last call we had
the feelings that flowed out
your heart out to reveal
hit me like lightening
some sort of frightening beauty
it has me sinking
not knowing how I should be thinking
ive wanted this for a long while now ,
and not ever receiving was little pleasing
so excuse me for shrieking
this apology wasn't anything I thought id be getting
you've made me drown more than known
sinking further in a world of fucken dumb love
you are what I hate when I love , love when I hate
does that even make sense
you make me be better then okay
not many are lucky to say
I know you don't believe me
but it is your world, im lucky to be living in it
your world and lucky I had a chance to be in it.
year gone now I don't know what to say
im not better off , im a disaster since we fell off
life just feels wrong and its taking me on
im trying to stay strong
wish you would only call
then I could keep on
not move on cause I hold onto your flame strong
I know its dumb
but ima be here even if it takes forver long
cause I meant it when I said
ill always be here
even not near
you got me on my feet
can even be a buttdial without a speak
youll have me at my peak
quick away from weak
just think
you could assist me from this lightning steak
cause im almost knocked out off my feet
waiting to take leave
if we never get to speak
so please
message me when you read
and tell me I better chill before you leave
or you know what I mean at least
lates
Oct 2, 2018
Oct 2, 2018 at 2:49 AM UTC
There are so many ways to tell you I love you
but they have all been said before and the words less true.
Instead I'll tell you a story, an anecdote, if you will.
One in which I hope you will find meaning.
Although the sentiment bears no embarrassment,
it may be a little revealing.
I've recently become obsessed with light.
I fantasise composition of sketches, I photograph flames contrasting their sinister shadows.
Oh, how light intrigues me!
A broad topic of fascination and awe, my thoughts scatter with wonder.
Yet, amidst this fantasy, I see you in every shade.
It's not that you are "the light of my life" or even "the light in the dark"; although I do see you in twinkles of a spark.
My love of light comes from a deep-rooted passion;
for finding combinations with enthusiasm.
How is it possible that light could affect mood?
Look at Rembrandt's etchings and you'll understand my point of view.
Light doesn't just enrich dark and vice versa.
Each subtle tone and shade compliment each other and reveal what another cannot.
That is what you are,
you reveal the best light in me,
you are my favourite shade.
Oct 16, 2015
Oct 16, 2015 at 4:32 PM UTC
You saw me.
You saw me, didn’t you,
You saw me while I walked the valley of death,
Wile the fabric of my soul was threaded with fear and dread,
You saw me and said nothing.
I walked on, I walked on.
The days went by fast. It has been a long time, hasn’t it. None are here to console me but my brethren. My brethren, the shadows. The shadows don’t discriminate, they don’t love either. At least they do not pretend to love. They don’t betray my trust. They are a figment of my imagination. However, they are mine.
The darkness bids my call,
My soul takes the fall, the fall of trust,
The shadows hold me tight,
They keep me away from fear and fright,
They help my insanity and feed my vanity,
They tear my soul into pieces and replace them with emptiness,
I fear none but I fear one aspect,
Losing the capability to fear.
My tears don’t fall and the ground is dry. They are here, but I feel nothing. I know I am to win. Win the world. At the same time, I know, I am to lose. Lose my soul.
The time passes by as the grains of darkness cover the sky. My feelings are lost and I feel the frost. So close, yet so far. To become one of them has become my only aim.
I was destroyed, ruined, but the darkness lifted me. It showed me the way. The are the way. They might be a figment of my imagination, However, they are mine.
The grounds rumbles,
My sanity grumbles,
The darkness catches hold of me, it grips me tight,
My soul goes for a flight, a flight destined to never come back.
The job is done,
The time has come,
To walk as one of them,
As the defeated, as the lone,
My loyalties have changed,
It is time to do what they did to me,
Find another solider betrayed by love, by lust,
And show him the path,
The path of ever lasting darkness.
Maiden, what have you done to me? Ruined my life, crushed my destiny. My life has no light and my soul has no hope, the darkness falls upon me like an everlasting cloak. I have been ruined, destroyed, thus they are my hope, the light to my light, the rope across the chasm, the chasm of death. I hold my breath. I am surrounded by a flurry of feelings. All the despair comes out of me in forms of screams. The valley shakes at the cries of their new Lord. The Lord who lost. Lost in love, lost in lust. The Lord of Darkness, The Lord of Ways, the lord who will keep despair at bay. The darkness has made me one of my own, the shadows have sworn me in. They are my brethren, they are the soothing melodies to my groans.They are a figment of my imagination. However, I fear that I am their’s.
Aug 21, 2014
Aug 21, 2014 at 6:52 AM UTC