#combat
The afterburner tears the air's hard mass,
The concrete shakes with frequency so high,
Supersonic boom bends down trees and grass,
As Number Five ascends into the sky.
And now the wingman, callsign Number Nine,
Roars on the runway, following the Five.
Then blurry shapes of "Rooks" go flashing by,
First one, another — a pair starts to fly.
The concrete burns beneath the midday sun.
The shimmering hot air can now be seen,
With popping drag-chutes, all the Rooks touch down,
Despite the bullet scars, they land routine.
They prep the foam-lined strip to bring him home,
A trail of angry smoke grows less and less,
Then the Five clumsily slams in the foam,
He limps to tarmac. Halts. In pure distress.
The canopy thrown back, the helmet on,
The fire still reflects upon the tint,
Concealing tears for him, who now is gone —
For Vanya — became fire in final feint.
May 17
May 17, 2026 at 9:10 PM UTC
One more ship.
Another hulking piece of steel
rocking on black water
like the world has not had enough of this yet.
One more takedown.
Climb the wet ladder,
taste rust and salt on your teeth,
feel your knees complain against the salt.
Somewhere in the back of my head
a small voice keeps asking,
can I go home now,
like a kid tugging at a sleeve.
When is this tour over?
When is this tab paid?
How long can a man keep pulling the trigger
before the trigger owns him.
Jimmy is in front of me again,
like always,
broad back, helmet, that little tilt of his head that means move.
I am at the end of the line,
new enough to still listen,
not one of the frogman legends,
just the demo guy they handed a rifle to
so the roster would look complete.
The stack drifts forward
like a single animal with too many legs.
Left, right, down the metal throat of the corridor,
rooms kicked open, corners burned out with light,
space after space cleared,
nothing but sweat and breathing and the taste of your own tongue
until there is only the engine room left,
the hot iron heart of the ship.
We slide in toward it,
and everything in me whispers
almost done,
almost done.
From the right side a gun appears,
just a hand and a muzzle,
not even a full man yet.
One shot.
We have heard thousands of them,
but this one reaches in and rewrites Jimmy.
His shoulder is there, then gone,
erased in a burst of meat and noise.
It opens like a butchered thing,
red everywhere,
white tendons hanging like snapped wires,
pieces of him thrown across the bulkhead
like the room changed its mind about him.
There is nowhere to put a tourniquet.
You cannot cinch down on a missing piece.
You cannot wrap a bandage around nothing.
The corridor fills with shouting,
all the standard-issue phrases
we were trained to bark
so we do not have to invent honest ones.
And under all that noise
a smaller question keeps knocking:
Why can I not go home?
Why am I still here?
Jimmy has a family.
He has a little girl who will never feel
that ruined arm around her again,
never get lifted out of a chair,
never get spun in the air
for the pure,
stupid joy of it.
Those moments are leaking out of him
onto the floor of a foreign ship
that will never know his name.
Later there is the helo,
the endless engine roar,
the wind clawing at us,
Jimmy strapped down, eyes wide,
waiting for somebody to say this means something.
I sit with my rifle between my knees
like a tired apology
and wait with him,
for the corpsman to mutter comfort,
for the radio to cough out purpose,
for whatever god is on shift
to step up and explain the math.
For what do we do this?
For which flag, which story,
which old man in a suit,
do we trade shoulders and daughters and sleep.
The rotors pound the night into fragments,
the ship shrinks behind us into the dark,
and the question stays,
heavy, unfinished,
like a sentence no one here
has the courage
to write all the way to the end.
Nov 21, 2025
Nov 21, 2025 at 7:36 PM UTC
on a Milky Way chase
i'm close to the center now
i'm pulled in sooner than expected
as if i am being ushered
on approach to Sagittarius A*
light striations straighten out
like a two-point perspective starting
and ending with me
and starting and ending with a point
i cannot see
in a flash of chrome light
i am taken to a large room
there are walls that look staggered
and painted in Vantablack
they twist in and out of each other
into patterns i can't track
into patterns i can't
into patterns i can
into patterns
STOP LOOKING!
i turn away
i spot a figure phasing in
like sheets of tracer paper
stacking up on each other
I say, angrily,
"you!"
"had trouble finding me?
how? i'm everywhere!"
"nah this is an origin module.
you're at least partially here.
i can affect you"
"oh yeah? i dare-"
before they can finish
i send a symphony of mockingbirds
it pushes them into a wall
of spiraling fractals
"how dare you!
i was at your start.
i can give you an end!"
they float forward
violently raising a hand
and before they can drop it
i call a ****** of crows to hold it up
and a pack of rabid wolves
to bind their legs
shouting
"i am your machinations
risen to meet you!"
i lift my hands
and an ocean rises around us
i twist the weeds around their throat
and beckon whales to scream in their ears
they shake it all off
"you're pathetic.
so are the rest of you."
and with a single flip of their finger
i get blown back into a wall
i can't pull free
i'm done
but with a final rebellious effort
i raise a finger to them
"what's that?"
"everything you didn't think of"
i say, unloading the round
there is a sound
of the rush of a trillion forsaken souls
finding their own way
making their fates
meeting their destinies
despite being made
to be a reflection
of nothing they understand
the round hits
exits as a rabble of butterflies
and the figure shatters
i watch the pieces fall
they sound like glass
i'm pulled into many parts
each of them twisting into the wall
Nov 22, 2025
Nov 22, 2025 at 11:41 PM UTC
S-eternally pounding
swearing wheel grips
Narrowing vision
Blurring white and yellow lines
Smooshing my face
against the lexan
On the drivers side
Imagining artillery
On the shoulder of
Cruel suburbia
unbothered
America is
at the mall
Nov 21, 2025
Nov 21, 2025 at 7:20 PM UTC
Anxiety tears at my heart,
it sickens my gut,
I leave this apart.
Bright picture in my mind,
it crept into my ears
so perfectly designed
to blend into the fears.
My teeth are gnashed in wrath
curse words are ringing loud
can't irreverse this path
but this is way I'm proud.
Breath in and out
anxiety just fades
feel softest ground
and all these darkest shades.
Through optics greet my target,
transform it’s brain to slush,
thick grass is like a carpet
I don't need all the rush.
Trajectory is known
I crawl away to dark
my scent's already blown
I leave no sign, no mark.
My shots between the heartbeat
I mix my breath to wind
reward for this is not sweet
they made me be that skilled.
I crawl, the plants are shaking -
assist from helping ghosts
You'll pay for what you're making
you'll never be the host.
One bullet, breath, ballista,
the vultures will have feast
They'll say that you resisted.
but who believes to beasts?
The peace throughout my body
it's way to fall asleep.
I have to work that stoutly
for freedom that we keep.
Jun 17, 2025
Jun 17, 2025 at 1:33 PM UTC
...
if i were to speak out
in a freak out
and let loose
amplifying my truth
most would label it rage
would vote that i continue to keep it in it's cage
no one cares enough to see that it's pain
because then they'd have to study every molecule of rain
and take some accountability for every stain
and so far i've never been worth that
so i lay down my defense in combat
you get the win
apparently life is so broken
that love and devotion
isn't enough to consider a win
in order for me to be wanted
i must accept their sin
but untill i reach perfection
no one finds me enough to put any effort in
so what i'm working towards
is impossible for me to personally imagine
my dream is now a has been
must be flipped upside down to see my grin
someone please say when
if somehow i missed it,
please say it again
...
Apr 22, 2025
Apr 22, 2025 at 4:04 PM UTC
The battle's done
the coast is clear
gone now are those we once stood near
we walk alone
and so to say
some that once slept now lie awake
and only memories fill their home.
So grit the teeth and dance in pain
and find a light,
so you may never lose their names.
Mar 17, 2025
Mar 17, 2025 at 7:41 AM UTC
One notch and straight, decided fate.
Then loose and look, another's took.
A visor up, one on the floor
the naive put it up to four.
The boulder crash
and rip of leather
the quiver's gone but not
too slow
comes back the bow
and arrow tip,
and tearing through
a savage eye
that's number five that he decides.
But now another's tagged his throat
and down he goes, and so he knows,
that its not smart to mess about
with sticks and stones and long bows.
Mar 17, 2025
Mar 17, 2025 at 7:27 AM UTC
Who is the man weilding my gun
when time stops and holds its breath?
Cold hate runs in his veins—
steady, unflinching death.
Engines roar, radios chatter—
Silent! Vision, sharp and thin.
All existence is ending
the threat closing in.
Thumb pushes the safety—
click
Center mass. Steady. Hold breath.
Squeeze.
Who wore my skin?
Foe? Friend? Truly me?
Will I ever see him again—
Bold stranger, powerful-- fear free?
Mar 11, 2025
Mar 11, 2025 at 7:03 AM UTC
The stars will not align
Everything
That has ever meant anything
Is taken and I'm left with the rind
You can't combat loss
It will touch you
Change you and destroy you
There will never be enough fingers to cross
Didn't expect it to be easy
But this is too much
How do I go on?
The one thing my failures have in common is me
Life can always be worse
But that means it can be better
I'm not that trend setter
The is starting to feel like a curse
©2024
Oct 27, 2024
Oct 27, 2024 at 8:35 PM UTC
While you advance in front of me
I’m already a step ahead
studying your moves from behind
While you may rule over me
I’m only holding you up
for your fall
While you ignore me
you’ll forget to listen
and fail to hear when I come
Feb 20, 2024
Feb 20, 2024 at 6:54 PM UTC
From day one, from the moment I was given one, my compass has had a faulty magnet
Why was that written into my script?
And why didn't I get a say in any of it?
Shouldn't I have been given a manuscript?
Explaining, for one thing, why I have to combat life and everything that comes with it?
How would you go about it?
Can't I just shrug it off, maybe let some shiit slip?
My path doesn't always need to be backlit
Certainly not by the ember of my burnout that fell from orbit
The punishment never fit the crime but I still submit that most of the claims are, in themselves, counterfeit
But I didn't quit in a panic
Not every life is a good investment
So I made the corporate decision to forfeit
Call it an early retirement
The more fitting term is a forced exit
©2024
Jan 17, 2024
Jan 17, 2024 at 3:15 PM UTC
Box Off
The black box that tells of approaching enemy missiles is turned off
The black box that jams enemy missiles it turned off
The black box that dispenses radar jamming chaff is turned off
The black box that launches infra-red flares is turned off
The black box that gives out false position locations is turned off
The black box that plots enemy defence locations is turned off
The black box that steers a course round enemy radars is turned off
The black box that sees enemy anti-aircraft guns is turned off
The black box that should save our jet and our lives is turned off
We are now dead and our warplane is now destroyed
The black box should’ve been turned on
May 7, 2023
May 7, 2023 at 10:56 PM UTC
Race 2
Same old **** going down
Graves of men now silent
Nowt much happening here
Just dead bodies buried
After being riddled blasted
Russians killed by Ukrainians
Prisoners mostly of Wagner
Sentences cut lives now cut
Politicians bathe in blood
They had quite a run
Still race in Part 2
Race 1 was a loss
No victory only death
Plus injuries and ruin
Battlefield injuries extreme
It's fine there's time
So much time here
Satan has all the time
In the world
Wait and see
May 7, 2023
May 7, 2023 at 10:35 PM UTC
combat
battered
dandelions
Aug 3, 2020
Aug 3, 2020 at 9:36 PM UTC
Heave ** Your cry astounds
Flummoxing your enemies ashore
Debonaire you brandish pistol and sword
Cutting down resistant scallywags
Thy treasure shall be mine!
You dash haphazardly between slashes
Excitement and *** course through
Fueling you to victory
Imposing is thy stance!
Booted foot on stack of cannon *****
Actioned-packed adventure
As you reave and raid the seas
Your adventure keeps me alert
But my ship's an iron beast of land
I think of daring combat
And your exploits give me hope
I load my rifle in hot anticipation
Prepared to write my own adventure
The giant steel hatch lowers
And hot iron rips through me
My adventure ends prematurely
My *** is without excitement and masks pain
A hospital bed now serves as my galleon
Your book by my bedside, untouched
Feb 21, 2020
Feb 21, 2020 at 7:23 PM UTC
Am I ever awake anymore
Or do I ever dream at all
This war-torn landscape that is my mind finds no rest
I watch the clock tick by
A scout in infinite cubicle farms
One thousand, four hundred and forty
Instances of repetition
My numbed sense of excitement tingles as the clock reaches five
Ticking by each second turned to minute turned to gray
What happiness do I derive from completion of work
I sit sullenly watching sitcoms through red-rimmed eyes
I don't think I'll sleep again
I don't know if I have ever woken up
My reality is fading out to textured grays
Maybe I will fade out too
But night turns to day turns to ash
As I slowly count away
One thousand, four hundred and forty minutes left of consciousness
Feb 19, 2020
Feb 19, 2020 at 6:38 PM UTC
The metal floor is slicky
Desert heat amplifies
The odor of ***** and blood
Mostly empty IV bags hang on their stands
Packaging from numerous medical supplies
Litter the ground
Quickly and carefully I clean and spray and sweep and scrub
I sort and pack and refit and reorganize
Preparing the chopper for the next call
Lives were saved
But
I don’t know what will become of them
Some will leave the Army
Some will come back here
Some will do the job the enemy couldn’t do
And take their own lives
I can’t think about that
This is hard enough
Feb 10, 2020
Feb 10, 2020 at 11:02 AM UTC
Turning
Burning
Learning
Yearning
Blackhawk turning, HIT, cockpit burning
Troops learning of war, yearning for home
Feb 7, 2020
Feb 7, 2020 at 10:16 AM UTC
I can’t feel my legs
Stay with us, Buddy
The chopper’s inbound
I need some O-Positive
Stay with us, Buddy
Apply direct pressure
I need some O-Positive
Put that one over here
Apply direct pressure
I’ve lost the pulse
Put that one over here
Where’s the Chaplain?
I’ve lost the pulse
The chopper’s inbound
Where’s the Chaplain
I can’t feel my legs
Feb 5, 2020
Feb 5, 2020 at 1:03 PM UTC
Even war is crowned with solemn peace
That crown passed on from reign to reign
And from king to king even the gold does fade
So does the glory in the sword that's stained
The sword was silenced and then was heard no more
The blood stained veil tore before my closing eye
Thus it is the dethronement of peace that's the coronation of war
Yet could ever a higher cause such a darkness dignify
Nov 22, 2019
Nov 22, 2019 at 2:27 PM UTC
They wear their bodies inside-out, some are ashes but few are dust. Vacant orbits, oblivious to the incoming tide and the percussive artillery from the heavily fortified positions on Rue de la Mort, view the world with equanimity. Their bloodied stillness at odds with the surrounding tumult.
It’s at times like these - pinned down behind a burnt-out vehicle, the sand skipping around me with the phut-phut-phut of spent rounds - that I envy them their final freedom. Not that all deaths are as elegant and instantaneous as a well aimed bullet to the head.
It is a fleeting thought, hardly even that, a whispering somewhere in the background of my consciousness, like listening to a low-tuned wireless. And with victory as with defeat - with the ear-ringing silence - the whisperings become louder and more persistent.
Right, left; up, down; stop, wait; walk, run; sink, swim; live, die. Some pray to survive, other’s yearn for the sweetspot, the one shot **** Regardless, there is no doubt that we who remain will fight on for weeks, for years, for decades and continue to live the uncertainty of the living - sweating bullets until kingdom ****** come.
Jun 9, 2019
Jun 9, 2019 at 9:57 PM UTC
It was a hot summer Georgia morning.
The fresh smell of pine
The sounds of marching solders
Reveille played over the loud speakers
As cooks, we started our day early
Everything seemed normal
Normal for Army life, that is
Life that I got used to
I put on my uniform
Polished my boots
Walked over to the dining facility
Expecting to fail inspection, again
"Report to HHC Immediately!"
24th Infantry Division (mechanized)
"First to Fight"
This was serious
What was going on?
Confusion afoot
Kuwait was ambushed
Sadam must be stopped
We marched over to the gymnasium
There were stations set up
Line up for innoculations
Fill out your Last Will and Testament
March over to the barraks
Pack up your gear
Only what you can carry
Sneak in some comfort items
What about the rest of my stuff?
Someone will look after it
Don't worry, it's safe
Soldiers are a bunch of thieves
March over to the National Guard barraks
They look like the did in WWII
50 double bunks in a row
they smelled moldy
This was our new home
until further notice
I haven't slept
in 48 hours
No communication
to your family or firends
I snuck out
to the pay phone
Not sure what to say
other than don't worry
I love you
goodbye
I am one of
the first one hundred
soldiers to depart
Single, no close family
We board the ship
It is massive!
USNS Capella (T-AKR 293)
In the Savannah Harbour
Tanks, helecopters
Trucks, supplies
One hundred ARMY soldiers
Ready to disembark
We stand along port side
at parade rest
A tear rolls
Down my face
Thousands of civilians
Waving flags
Cheers of goodbyes
Crying children and wives
The ship leaves port
slowly pulls away
the cheers fade
into the ocean depths
First day afloat
The ship rocks slowly
Hard to get used to
Motion Sickness kicks in
I worked in the galley
T-Ration for breakfast
MRE for lunch
T-Ration for dinner
I ate with the Marines
A-Ration meals
Privilege of being
a Food Service Specialist
Trash accumulated
Throw it overboard
Alongside the bow
Death to the oceans
Many days pass
I read a book
Hyperion (Dan Simmons)
The only book I had
I sit on the deck
the sea in all directions
mystifies the soul
we are alone
I wake up to discover
Another ship next to us
USNS American Explorer
(T-AOT-165) Refueling ship
We reach the Suez Canal
Egypt looks beautiful
To the east: lush greenscape
to the west: barren wasteland
Egyptian Militants
watching intensely
along the shoreline
they saw my camera
Merchants come aboard
"Good deals for you,
American G. I."
I bought some batteries
I get to phone home
satellite communication
ten dollars a minute
worth every penny
We reach our destination
Twelve day journey ended
time to unload
organized chaos
All hands on deck
mechanized disembark
crash course
on driving a tank
Transported to my unit
in the tent city
they got there first
flown by commercial airliner
time to roll out
loaded my gear
WRONG TRUCK!
Ruck sack gone forever
Lost my walkman
lost my camera
lost my book
was in the ruck sack
to be continued.........
Aug 29, 2018
Aug 29, 2018 at 3:24 PM UTC
Scabs crusting;
Feet wrinkle
with an unrelenting
wetness
in cold socks.
The soldier walks
reaching the point
of contact,
a swift interlude
of gorilla combat.
After the gun fight
he collects
small bullet casings.
Then when silence
finally comes at night
he takes them out,
rolling them
through and around
his fingers.
Various
colored casings
of memories chasing
each potential
point of pain;
He imagines
the cycle of sorrow
that each projectile
might have injected
into this world.
Then the soldier
buries the bullet casings
and
finally, leaves the battlefield.
Mar 5, 2018
Mar 5, 2018 at 10:27 AM UTC