#clematis
So it is my birthday today
Though this day i feel no different than normal
Perhaps a little sad
As yesterday i had a bit of a conflict
But I won't let this person have control over my birthday
Today is supposed to be special
Though most things have gone wrong
I forgot my coffee this morning
And Spotify gave me the worst songs on my playlist
Still, today is my birthday
I am sixteen
It is a time to celebrate the sixteen years i have been struggling along
Tomorrow will be the same as yesterday
And today will be the only
I think of my favorite flowers
Red columbine, clematis, water lily
Trembling, mental beauty, tranquility
I think that if someone gave me a clematis today
I would cry and preserve it forever
I'd like to hide away
And sit with my poetry
And cup of coffee
Writing about the beauty of the world
That I cannot see
Feb 23, 2022
Feb 23, 2022 at 10:05 AM UTC
I buried her beside the clematis
Before the old untidy oak. The sullen wind
Began its circuitous hiss
A mocking presence. A cruel portend.
With fevered brow I pressed
The dark soil down, my quaking hands
My anguish succinctly expressed-
Stubborn fingers torn into blood-red strands.
Putting the ***** away, I went back indoors;
Her corpse still fixed in my sight, I made tea,
Sweat seeping from my pores,
As I drank, my hands again shook visibly.
A storm broke over the nearby hills
Roaring rolling sounds of shame,
Walls of rain thudding on my window sills-
The resonating thunder repeating her name:
‘Lucilla! Lucilla!’
Came each profound clap
Her voice within: ‘You killed me. Murderer!’
Long after the lightning’s crisp rap.
I had loved her with my infinite core,
Her screams scoured my teeming brain,
It pained me as I smashed her beautiful head on the floor,
Her rapid blood fading down a drain.
I died inside as she died my hands upon her neck,
Panting, protesting her undying love,
I gave her cheek a tender peck
Crying that the disinterested gods above
Knew I loved her too.
But, when a woman cheats,
What could an honest man do
In the face of numerous public deceits,
More so when his avaricious friends
Sample her like old women squeezing
Oranges in the market place? She trends,
Or did, for only one, distasteful, reason.
I did what I had to do. I had no alternative!
As was my due, I punished her with death,
And now subsumed in grief,
I strangle in my own dark breath
Now, each night I watch the clematis climb
Study its coiling struggling vines
Fixed in that cold, cold time
And the shallow grave on which the cold moon shines.
May 13, 2016
May 13, 2016 at 7:19 PM UTC