#clawing
It’s hurting
I can’t make it stop
You can’t take away the pain
I want it to stop
But it keeps clawing at my heart
It keeps raging in my mind
It keeps rotting in my veins
So,
I let the drugs take away the pain
Nicotine flows through my veins
And I escape.
Jul 24, 2019
Jul 24, 2019 at 10:37 AM UTC
This Rush,
Heady, intoxicating
Pounding against my white interior
Clawing through my skin.
Begging, fighting, screaming,
For a way out.
Dripping, oozing
Through every word
And every well timed ******
Its fire and warmth gives me
A new sort of fragile
Strength.
Oct 28, 2018
Oct 28, 2018 at 3:52 PM UTC
you don’t realize how much it hurts you when he
touches you for a moment and then begs for more
you say “no I don’t want to” and he pushes
(more) (more)
---says you are annoying and dramatic--
but you love him (so)
you grasp for straws you
gasp when he smiles and yet
your love is rotting and it is
filling your bones. All of the no no
I don’t want to” turns into
come back why are you leaving and then
you are clawing for air on the ground
calling your mom trying to tell her
how much you hurt without telling her why
because it might split her open
And that is the last thing you want to do.
Dec 4, 2017
Dec 4, 2017 at 10:22 PM UTC
The year's '95,
And in my mom is me,
But not for long,
Cause I need some air to breathe.
Clawing forth, I burst forth,
And **** in my first sweet breath,
Biggest baby in the place,
**** my head has heft.
"It's no matter," they said,
On my first day out the gate,
"See, there's this thing called fate.
It takes freedom from will,
And Choice is determined.
As for you—baby boy,
Fate says you are destined to burn
To Curse
To Shake,
Hate icing your veins,"
"—And hate has iced my veins,"
I cut in abrupt, granite-cool.
"These pinprick cuts I feel—
Open pain lacing my face—
Have marked me as martyr,
And so my life shall be pain.
I’ve been clawing, am clawing, will keep clawing,
Never calling out for help,
Alone, untold gall, I came out
Of that dirt-riddled world,
That shit-padded hollow,
21-and under gallows.
I paid off the gatekeeper,
So no,
This body won’t follow.
See,
I first went to school,
I first went to read,
Sorting info in body,
I knew the life I would lead.
Sep 18, 2017
Sep 18, 2017 at 3:36 AM UTC
I feel the claws digging,
I know that its trying to claw away at the skin;
That locks it all away,
What is it trying to get at, I will never know.
I feel the inside of my chest wanting to ripped apart,
I can feel the aching numbness in the pit of my heart swell.
Something wants to be set free from within my fragile frame.
I wish for this feeling to be no more,
I do not want to cave into the craving,
I cannot destroy my appearance of "Normal, or "Just fine,"
I cannot be "Strange," my mother said.
So smile and laugh even if it hurts to move,
The stitching will soon heal all wounds.
It was your fault anyways, for giving in.
I cannot try to claw away at the feelings deep within me,
It is unnatural to react upon these things,
"You must not be so strange,"
Mama will say.
The unknown feelings will soon turn into aching feeling,
Its likes a scratch that you must never scratch at,
Because people have told you that it will just make it worse.
So these feelings deep within in my chest,
I must ignore, I must be actually how society wishes me to be,
"Perfectly fine."
Jun 7, 2017
Jun 7, 2017 at 6:05 PM UTC
We may soon forget about them,
Perform our daily tasks.
Seek what pleasure may be found.
Regain contentment in whatever measure.
They will still claw at the razor wire,
discomforted by rain, wind and snow,
determined to resist their pains,
seeking to share our inherited treasure.
May 31, 2017
May 31, 2017 at 1:43 PM UTC
I am not now an emotional being.
But if ever in my dreams, I was to stumble upon
That girl who wore my face when she was
Ten, twelve, fourteen,
I weep.
Taking her in my arms I try to hush her,
as she claws at her belly and screams at the mirror.
Hating herself, as only an innocent can,
wholly and completely
Aug 3, 2015
Aug 3, 2015 at 7:07 PM UTC
How do I erase this Janwar
that's clawing, gnawing, destroying my insides
try to cease this current
this ebbing self-control
black-holed sanity of clear thought
Everywhere I go
every sight I see
incomplete without my completeness
you
Stupidity overwhelming judgement
blinding direction of constant withdrawal
an itch
How I wish things didn't happen for a reason
for now, I'd be whole
without a counterpart
missing
A puzzle piece
misleading me to believe
that he
and me
as a we
are meant to be
**** that idiocracy
for whole
I am,
complete,
and you are obsolete
s.q.
Sep 30, 2014
Sep 30, 2014 at 9:16 PM UTC
Nails clawing through shirttails
Trying to hold on
Desperate not to let things change
Faceless people turn their backs
Glasses shatter half full
Only the empties remain
May 23, 2010
May 23, 2010 at 7:29 PM UTC