#choosingdepth
I Chose
I thought they were just eyes, two quiet circles of light,
so I stepped closer—not brave, just curious.
No one warns you
that some eyes are not meant to be looked into,
they are meant to be understood.
I didn’t understand.I mistook depth for beauty,
calm for safety.Only later did I realise—
they were not eyes.They were seas.
Seas with moods,with silence heavier than storms,with beauty that invites you in
and depth that never explains itself.
I entered without permission,without preparation,
without knowing how to swim.And here I am—
not swimming,not drowning,suspended in between,where survival feels like hope
and hope feels like punishment.
Reaching land was never part of the syllabus.
No one taught me how to leave
something this beautifulwithout breaking myself.
For a long time I believed I was learning how to swim.
I told myself I was growing,
getting stronger,becoming enough.
I mistook staying alive
for learning.The truth came quietly—
I am not floating because I learned to swim.
I am floating because the sea allows it.
Because the winds move beneath me,
holding me up without asking why,
saving me without promising tomorrow.
And even now,
those same winds could throw me out,
push me back to shore,end this suffering.
But they don’t.
Maybe because I love the wind.
Maybe because I love the sea.
Maybe because I love
whatever this is—
even if it is slowly unmaking me.
I chose the sea knowing I couldn’t swim.
And that is my confession!
Jan 2
Jan 2, 2026 at 9:06 AM UTC