#chilhood
Even though I am currently 15 years old
In my head I feel like I have already fulfilled my childhood
I had the "birds and bees" talk
before I could even learn how to tie my shoelaces correctly
My parents made me learn several things
to help me face the real-world challenges like taxes and bills
before I could even know the difference between
a fraction and a decimal
I have also learned how certain people in society view woman
in a disgusting and draining point of view
so, when I finally got my period
and my mother said "I'm finally becoming a woman"
I felt like my intestines was swirling inside my stomach
so ever since then
when I wake up in the morning and see myself through a reflection
I can sense changes flowing through my body
and it terrifies me to the fullest extent
but I know that I can't stop it
Aside from my body changing over time
my mind has also changed a little bit
before I saw the world in pastel colors
even though I knew the true intentions
of what our world is becoming from which we stand on
but now I see the world with cracked lenses
but my perspective of society is becoming clearer and distraught
I know that I'm young
and if you were to compare me with the people
I hang out with before and after
you would probably think to yourself
"Wow she is so mature for her age"
but sometimes I wish my childhood was in a slow pace
who knows maybe if I were to wake up tomorrow
I might become twice my age without realizing
and If I were to blink twice
then wrinkles will start to appear on my face
The one thing I'm starting to regret now
Is wishing to become older when I was so young
and when I do reach adulthood
I'll start wishing to be youthful again
Nov 16, 2024
Nov 16, 2024 at 7:06 PM UTC
Embracing my pain🖤
[I always wondered what it was to be cared, loved and be petted. I grew up in disgrace, scolded and treated unwell. I was blackmailed, bullied and forced beyond my limits.]
The childhood which was sweet for everyone was not for me!
Neither appreciated nor saw me as a young girl.
All I was a trash.
I really feel guilt and was I burden always.
Why did you give me birth in this earth?
As days passed by, I was not recognised by any one.
I felt I was a shadow submerged in this dark.
I had no value, and felt like an extra.
Sometimes thought I should have made a full stop long back.
To me childhood was full of responsibilites.
Why did not god gift me with love but pain, no smiles but fakes and at last a life when i didn't ask an one???
Responsibilites and priorities snatched my years of joy till now!
I don't know what its to be a kid nor to be loved by.
I always gave but not got anything in turn neither did I expect cause love can be also one side.
But, all I can feel as days flew by was nothing but emptiness, numbness, no emotion, simply pain but covering them with a fake smile so ppl around me don't get hurt!
Sleepless nights, but no one knows why pillows are stained, sometimes neither I do.
No one knows, how I plead for love, but is forced to act not and strong always.
No one knows how my mood swings but called rude cause I don't wanna hurt anyone at that moment!
No one tries to know cause they think I am cool and my life is perfect which I pretend the most.
Now days are getting slower and nights longer. I don't know where I belong.
I feel like nothing. Though people love me, I am scared to trust, that I neglect them and move afar so they wont be hurt because of me. My heart is into pieces and I know that I can still pretend stronger and fine.
Why, where and how did I come to this miserable world which should have been so simple. Can no one hear the silent cries Or is this the fate of us.
I am being a ghost alive and the shadows so deep in me are leaving behind.
Even I don't know who I am/ for I am suppressed and not moulded, for I am snatched and did not live.
Maybe the curse of birth is the cause and its ok cause its not ok!
Why me? When all i did and still do is place rest of the people first before me.
Why me? Cared to fix people heart from my own flesh
Why me? Thought people were true when they just used and manipulated me
Why me? When my childhood was a grave but still choosing to find peace.
Yes, I lost my HOPE.
And the desire to LIVE.
Just breathing, for the sake of my family
~Varsha Srinivasan 🖤
Nov 3, 2024
Nov 3, 2024 at 2:11 AM UTC
kaafi yaad aati hain...
un chidiyon k chehchane ki
koyal k gane ki , dadi k kahani ki
aur us beete zamane ki
diwali k laltin sajane ki..
chuttiyon mein mama k ghar jaane ki, mami k ukhane ki..
bachhon ki mehfil sajane ki
kaafi yaad aati hain.. kaafi yaad aati hain
~tazheen
Sep 17, 2020
Sep 17, 2020 at 10:47 PM UTC
High above the leaves,
a world for you and me
Nestled in the arms
of a big, mighty tree
Secrets are spilled
on a pleasant afternoon tea
Soft giggles and sleep so cozy
Shadow and light danced on our skin
A thread tied on finger, our promise ring
Time may weaken
the wooden flooring 'till it creaks
But here we stay,
for countless autumns and springs
With ease swayed our body
to the birds' melody
Our names and a heart carved
on the bark of the tree
In this height we dreamed
and prayed in peace
Up here we belong
the treehouse, you and me
May 22, 2020
May 22, 2020 at 1:17 AM UTC
The faint sound of a sad song,
is that the reason?
The way it's hard to sleep
perhaps, because of youtube marathons?
The way it's hard to breathe most of the time,
the season?
Tell me! Give me reasons!
Something light and easy.
I wanna float my way out.
Dying silently everynight.
The secrets of abstracts, I don't want any.
The flashbacks and its treason, it's too much for me.
Shaking and breathing heavily
Droplets of sweat dropping from my face
Waking up from nightmares I thought I could bare.
My youth who forgot to bask in the sunlight, is that the reason?
Apr 29, 2020
Apr 29, 2020 at 2:04 AM UTC
Childhood is when you dance to the beat of your own heart,
Laugh in abundance,
Soak in innocence,
Roam without care or stress,
Happy you,
Carefree you
Free of spirit,
Like a bird that soars in the sky.
When you find solace in your mother's lap,
When bruised knees and elbows
are easier to heal,
Than a shattered heart,
When a puddle is an opportunity
to enjoy than an obstacle,
When toys, and icecreams matter more,
A war for a chocolate bar,
When you have little fights,
Then, hug each other tight.
Childhood is when you are loved by everyone,
When you are your parents happiness,
When grandparents have lots of time to play with you,
They never tire reading you the same story again and again,
Don't mind if you have an extra helping.
Your childhood is stored in your
memories,
An old book, smells or textures, a certain habit or food.
No pain, no heartaches.
Hold onto some of your childhood tightly.
11/3/2019.
Mar 10, 2019
Mar 10, 2019 at 6:15 PM UTC
I am not supposed to be here
I don't like it here
It isn't fun here
I am sad and scared
I want to leave now please
It's bad here
I’m cold
Shhhh
Go away
I can't do it
I can't get out
I am Trapped
Bad
It's empty here
And sad
I'm sad
And it hurts
I'm scared
I don't like it
I shouldn't be here
But she left me here
I try to tell them sometimes
But nobody listens
Nobody hears
When I try to say it
They all leave
And they don't come back
Ever
So I am alone
I am here
And no one will let me out
I try sometimes
But it's hard
And I don't work
And they leave
Why do they always leave?
They don't even know what it's like here
But they stay away
Because if they come with me
They get hurt
And I'm not worth it
Worth saving
Worth listening for
They say I'm fake
But they haven't been here
I have been here
And it's bad
I wish I could leave
I wish someone would come
I'm so alone
I don't like it here
I need to get out
I have to
I can't
Oct 10, 2017
Oct 10, 2017 at 11:47 AM UTC
There’s a funny tale read to children today
about a nonsense world found in the fields
on one manic hot morning
past a bubbling stream softly singing
at the place where a curious girl took her tumble
down a long hallway full of puzzles
and doors. If you’re sane, you wouldn’t be here
but here you are now, and it’s all so queer
how food enlarges your body to epic proportions
and critters, not of your typical garden variety,
don’t bother with “excuse me’s”,
“please’s” and “thank you’s”, but most of all
a strange sight to behold, a purple cat
on how to navigate this whimsical thicket
disappears with a trace, you see, of his wide grin of glee
so let us now stroll through the wood, to the Mad Hatter’s
where a tea party goes on forever and ever
and he hasn’t the slightest idea of the answers
to his many riddles.
In the distance rose trees painted red are growing,
while the Queen of Hearts is growing red
with hot rage at her subjects
in the midst of the oddest croquet game
with hedgehogs and flamingos as the ***** and mallets.
Now you could choose to stay here, or try to depart,
I grant you this place’s not for the faint of heart
But once you leave you’ll think about it
the absurdity has made you smile.
You’ll stand again
in the fields of another manic hot morning
hoping to God that White Rabbit will again be coming
late, late, for his very important date,
otherwise the thought of it fills you with dread,
because outside the fairytale books which you once loved and read,
a Wonderland must exist!
Jul 4, 2017
Jul 4, 2017 at 1:09 PM UTC
.
Before the wings and spring of words,
Were cradle-held in a cloud of sleep,
Soft footfalls to hear ourselves turning
And ever new dreams were lofty keys,
We could not see the frost branching
And winter never was, nor winds cold,
In our temple eyes, the sun crowning
Imbued visions, fine as woven gold,
Draped in silks so rare, spun spinning,
To hear the birds sing in ears blossom,
For the very first time, true beginnings
And the flower's colour never forgotten,
All is mourning now— song, sings singer,
To morn, wake, dream, dreams dreamer.
May 17, 2015
May 17, 2015 at 1:23 PM UTC
The time
The Days
And that clock in the wall
my laughts my gigles , my tears my joys and my desspointed, and all that memories .
***
I'm a treanger but I'm still a young child
that jumped in the stan
, her hair were flying all over her neck
her eyes are full of painful Imprisoned emations ,
yet with a lot of happiness .
The time
The Days
And that clock in the wall .
my laughts my gigles , my tears my joys and my desspointed, and all that memories .
I'll run and run , until I get tired
and laugh and laugh until I feel pain in my stomach
I'll hug the wind
and fil to eat the clouds
I'll allways
live
as a child
and
feel
as a child ..
writed on 25/06/2014
Jul 31, 2014
Jul 31, 2014 at 6:00 PM UTC