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#chef
the food is shocking the owner argues with chef shes called a donut
0
May 19
May 19, 2026 at 2:02 AM UTC
kitchen nightmares haiku
a man and woman on a date waited for their server the server ran from the closet and couldn't be later she said i'm sorry my pants were upside down they ignored her and asked for some cabernet sauvignon  she said the chef serves sausage and fermented pasta water
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Dec 11, 2025
Dec 11, 2025 at 6:40 PM UTC
the chef
When I was younger, I washed lettuce heads in cold water. I would set them on my cutting board, gently, as if my hands hummed with lullabies. I lifted tomatoes from their cardboard carton beds and lined them in a row like nursery babies, my starched jacket always white and clean. I knew romaine and bibb, beefsteak and cherry. I kept my hair tied back, my nails short, the right knife sharp and at the ready. I didn't know, then that lovers remember the wine, not the greens; the sugar, not the side plate. I wish you were here to kiss my hands with their swollen knuckles and cut scars. What was I doing with my tenderness when I had someone who wanted it? When I was younger, I had a paying job, a small talent, and a driver with a dolly at the back door coming every day to keep my walk-in cooler stocked. I thought that was bounty. I thought there was no harm in staying on through another fall, never considering that what I made was not mine, Or that someone else was paying for it all. _______
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Aug 24, 2025
Aug 24, 2025 at 10:20 AM UTC
Pantry Chef
Yes! There I said it a claim I declare it true such love and care rainbow of colors red, purple, green, orange and blue many shades of beauty anew twenty four different vegetables fresh twelve different greens olive oil always a must with a touch of Caesar to be zesty, and make smiles gleam truly art for a fancy museum I impressed myself only myself it seems beside this work of art a bottle of French Merlot a meal to die for I stared down a tear more for the dressing alone, even the candles now dead slowly I got up disposed the salad in the garbage poured the wine down the drain rains falls outside darkness rains inside alone a meal to die for
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Mar 13, 2025
Mar 13, 2025 at 1:30 AM UTC
Most Colourful Salad in the World
The stylish kitchen was where the chicken had to be prepared and couldn't be spared by the good old chef who was known as Jeff on that fateful day with the baking tray placed in the oven heated to govern the cooking of which was a dinner pitch for that very night with the stars so bright in the sky above everyone would love who were invited and be delighted on that occasion without persuasion to share in some feast not saying the least that could've been said if it was just bread with a bowl of stew for some hungry crew. And so it happened they were all fattened by the food they ate as they supped 'till late and when the time came the guests couldn't blame the chef or the host for the chicken roast and the side dishes which pleased the wishes of all the guests there who enjoyed the fare with many a thanks without any blanks and there it ended the night presented. All the guests who came did not leave the same because of the food eaten that was good. -------------------
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Sep 30, 2023
Sep 30, 2023 at 10:16 PM UTC
Chef's Specialty
Can I serve you a delicious poem in the plate of paper? I will tell you. This is a secret. I can be your best chef.
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Mar 1, 2021
Mar 1, 2021 at 4:48 PM UTC
A delicious poem
With ideas in her head, she acquires ingredients from creation. She picks up some bread, some meats and some crustacean. With purchases in her hands, she assembles them into her curation. Each ingredient has a plan, that's all part of her preparation. She cook in her pots and pans, dishes of her imagination. Juggling flavours and textures, from experience and experimentation. She host her friends regularly, not any one group particularly. With smiles, laughter and her kitchen art, everyone sense the generosity from her heart. She is the artist, the scientist, the chef, the friend and my wife.
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Jan 4, 2020
Jan 4, 2020 at 5:39 AM UTC
The Chef
If you're gonna be lonely, maybe learn how to cook. Parade the smoke to the rafters after doubting the book. Alert the parents in vowing the earnest salt in the brook. A fervent effort relays to bacon kisses you took. Brine is cheap, and on days like this find a Mrs. or friend, apply the bread crumb crisp. Buy the egg to allure. confide that "this might miss." If not to them to yourself. Try the odd light whip. Find a guide or a dozen. Fire doesn't necessarily deny the pleasant after math. Passable dishes levy comfort on cold nights, dying for treasure dancing in the lights, and forming function digging diamond from plastic wrap. "I could serve a candied berry pair it fairly cold below a lighter cream." See the finer things elaborate below the theme. Mise en place allowing, yolk to heat, folk wreaths are crowning. Found a leek to brown, found out what friends to feed can mean Be the barer taste your food silk confections social fruit Buck the system Find connection tuck the mood in ginger root get your list out pay it forward take the order grab a whisk make an impact Pleat the border break the silence wrap a gift
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Oct 23, 2019
Oct 23, 2019 at 6:56 PM UTC
Kiss the Chef
I live in a luxurious apartment, She lives in a makeshift hut in the slums, I sleep on the most comfortable bed, She sleeps on the floor, I have a chef and maids to cater for me, She has her mum and siblings to cater for her, My chef cooks tasty meals with latest gadgets, Her mum cooks on firewood the best meals I have ever tasted, For there is love of her mum in it. I eat mostly alone, My family have no time ,each busy in his/her own life, Her family eats together on the floor and her mum sometimes feeds her, They joke and laugh together, I sit alone in my room , busy on my computer, doing homework or chatting, After dinner her family sits outside the hut gossiping with neighbours while she does her homework under the streetlight . I enjoy being at my friend's place more because she always has her family who cares, There is laughter and happiness at her place although they have so little, They are content with what they have, I am glad I have a friend like her and her family to share. 24/8/2019
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Aug 24, 2019
Aug 24, 2019 at 7:09 AM UTC
My friend and I
You hired me to be a cook at your restaurant. I'll cook but I won't do everything you want. When you said what you wanted, I said no. I'll cook the food but I won't peel the potatoes. I won't peel potatoes or anything else either. Your daughter is accusing me of ****** harassment and you believe her. The truth is that she desperately wants me to be her *** slave. When I refuse, she becomes vindictive and she misbehaves. She tore her dress and said that I attacked her. I'd had all I could take so I finally smacked her. I won't give in to her demands, if I have to, I'll take her to court. She's the ugliest girl I've ever seen, her face is covered with warts. Because I won't be her piece of *** she tries to get me in hot water. I won't peel your vegetables and I won't sleep with your ugly daughter. When I got this job, I thought that I would love it. But I've decided to quit, take this job and shove it.
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Aug 23, 2019
Aug 23, 2019 at 1:10 PM UTC
I Won't Be Your Daughter's *** Slave
a hinterland there has corn and orient ties in court with his golden tight sweater so he'd cook tempura right with his catch of roughy 'bout now and in his kind place in Montauk
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Nov 4, 2018
Nov 4, 2018 at 1:31 PM UTC
astral kitchen
Cake You can eat it too! My frying pan Is half empty Hate me Because I am good No! Because I am great! Michelan Stars Trips to Mars Candy bars Mason jars Drunk I am Said the can To the packet Of ketchup Baker's square I worked there Line cook nook Splatters shook! The kitchen man Burns the water The ******** fan Yearns for slaughter
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Sep 3, 2018
Sep 3, 2018 at 12:26 AM UTC
I Am a Sourdough *******
The prince and I are not friends, though he seems a nice enough guy and I respect him and I value the role he plays. However my uncle, my father's big brother, knew him better and fed him snacks. As a boy the prince would slip into the palace kitchen between meals. Sometimes he would persuade his big sister too. And my uncle would sit them down and find a snack for him and perhaps for his sister and he would make them laugh. I know this because of the prince's note. The prince sent a note to my aunt and it was read at the family gathering following my uncle's funeral. A cheeky boy from Catford, a kitchen worker, and later the royal chef, laughing and showing kindness to the young prince and to the future princess royal; now remembered and valued by family and also by royalty. What do you think of that?
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May 24, 2018
May 24, 2018 at 2:03 PM UTC
The prince and I
artful creations colors, charcoals paints stone and clay wood and paper bringing life from lifeless form from formless can the artist choose? ~~~ garden creations shades of green jade artichoke asparagus fern, forest and jungle mint, moss and pine shamrock tea, olive mixed with a multitude of blooming hues can the gardener decide on one? ~~~ kitchen creations sweets and treats savories and piquants cakes and pies meats, stews casseroles butter, garlic lemon rosemary and thyme parsley and saffron onions caramelized to sweet peppercorns and cardamon tamarind, turmeric nutmeg combined in precision joy and love can the chef say which is best? ~~~ and thus I challenge any poet can you choose your favorite "child"?
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Apr 15, 2018
Apr 15, 2018 at 5:56 PM UTC
Sophie's Choice
When I ordered Welsh Rabbit, a rabbit wasn't included. The restaurant ripped me off, that was what I concluded. All that I was served was some cheese on toast. I soon learned that the chef wasn't a nice host. I wanted a rabbit and that was what I demanded. He threw me out the door because he said I needed to be reprimanded. i was upset at that chef so I decided to enter his restaurant again. When he was through I thought they'd have to call my next of kin. He burned my **** with his stove and hit my head with a frying pan. I soon learned that when that chef gets riled, he's a dangerous man. If you order Welsh Rabbit at his restaurant and ask for a rabbit, he will say no. And for your own safety you should leave his restaurant peacefully, just let it go.
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Mar 24, 2018
Mar 24, 2018 at 11:08 AM UTC
A Rabbit Wasn't Included
Please do it And get it done And be serious And be fun And enliven those around you to be their best Never rest Never settle Let your world be determined by worth and mettle Meddle in every affair Detail every error Never back peddle Or be caught unaware
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Feb 20, 2018
Feb 20, 2018 at 3:49 AM UTC
When I was Chef
It's not the photographer, alone, who makes food look soooo good, the Chef feeds him, beautiful specimens, each, with a unique professional talent, and taste is probably, one of the most highly subjective things, I know, there are standards, origins and roots, personality traits and how you were raised, excetera, most of my siblings are amazing cooks too, there's a certain way of looking, at each flavor individually, and then the combination, knowing that it will work or not, alone together with many, just in your mind. then your hands, add some brain power, a magic heart, use your taste BUDS, add an unexpected ingredient, PRESTO - Magic Kitchen!!! Putting the ingredients together,so that it will taste good for the masses, not just for you, even though it is for you too, a lovely reward in sharing your skills, you appreciate the depth of flavor, more than anyone else could, the love and thought in there, not because they don't have the same level, but because we are all so, individual, But the best chefs, in my humble opinion,. study preservatives, and avoid 'em study as much as they can, sources, herbs and cuts of meat, oils and fats, I know it matters to me, where it comes from, whether it's from VERMONT, or around the world, I want to know the story, and how to cook it even, super cheap stuff, learn about cultural influence, like familial influences, America's Test Kitchen got it right, know your BEST practices, We know our tastes completely, appreciate & know about others tastes as completely as possible, they totally understand how it works, it's how their mind ticks, miraculously inventive, with a few new things up their sleeves, yeah takes on traditions, TwIsTs they say, Can be classy or catastrophic, or somewhere in the middle, and people aren't going to eat, the catastrophic ones, but if they know all the different recipes, what can and cannot be substituted, or added, like the right herbs, for example, a dash of this, after that, or what could we leave out, savory or sweet, or both, whether you can use this cheese or that one, or many, what are they like cold, what are they like at room temperature, how should they be heated, is it best to use it fresh, what you can make on a dime, how about a bottle of vinted wine? I could go on but you get my point, I put things together that no one else has, true art, and I think bingo! Brilliant! And I'm happy to report that others believe this, others that I trust, feel that I can do this, miraculously perfect, No real failures, because everything is learning, and my mind is always yearning, in the dollars I am earning, a real blessing should be shared, I am always eager, To learn more unknown, helpful, ingredients to life.
0
Jan 5, 2017
Jan 5, 2017 at 12:18 PM UTC
All The Necessary Ingredients To Life?
It's not the photographer, alone, who makes food look soooo good, the Chef feeds him, beautiful specimens, each, with a unique professional talent, and taste is probably, one of the most highly subjective things, I know, there are standards, origins and roots, personality traits and how you were raised, excetera, most of my siblings are amazing cooks too, there's a certain way of looking, at each flavor individually, and then the combination, knowing that it will work or not, alone together with many, just in your mind. then your hands, add some brain power, a magic heart, use your taste BUDS, add an unexpected ingredient, PRESTO - Magic Kitchen!!! Putting the ingredients together,so that it will taste good for the masses, not just for you, even though it is for you too, a lovely reward in sharing your skills, you appreciate the depth of flavor, more than anyone else could, the love and thought in there, not because they don't have the same level, but because we are all so, individual, But the best chefs, in my humble opinion,. study preservatives, and avoid 'em study as much as they can, sources, herbs and cuts of meat, oils and fats, I know it matters to me, where it comes from, whether it's from VERMONT, or around the world, I want to know the story, and how to cook it even, super cheap stuff, learn about cultural influence, like familial influences, America's Test Kitchen got it right, know your BEST practices, We know our tastes completely, appreciate & know about others tastes as completely as possible, they totally understand how it works, it's how their mind ticks, miraculously inventive, with a few new things up their sleeves, yeah takes on traditions, TwIsTs they say, Can be classy or catastrophic, or somewhere in the middle, and people aren't going to eat, the catastrophic ones, but if they know all the different recipes, what can and cannot be substituted, or added, like the right herbs, for example, a dash of this, after that, or what could we leave out, savory or sweet, or both, whether you can use this cheese or that one, or many, what are they like cold, what are they like at room temperature, how should they be heated, is it best to use it fresh, what you can make on a dime, how about a bottle of vinted wine? I could go on but you get my point, I put things together that no one else has, true art, and I think bingo! Brilliant! And I'm happy to report that others believe this, others that I trust, feel that I can do this, miraculously perfect, No real failures, because everything is learning, and my mind is always yearning, in the dollars I am earning, a real blessing should be shared, I am always eager, To learn more unknown, helpful, ingredients to life.
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104
I had to go into the big city well big for me anyway a beautiful drive still dreaming I think looks right down on the water that city at Lake Champlain. So what did you get? Oh. You're seriously asking, alright. Well, it's for a lovely couple this weekend getting married. Oh I see, do tell Chef ? I picked some beautiful ingredients for pumpkin cheesecake some candies... I especially love the sunflower seed drops in magenta, violet, lime green, burnt orange, tangerine and dark  chocolate, they look like little fall tears. I also found some vinted honeymoon wine A voigner with a lovely fragrant crisp taste Hmmmm...interesting, go on? It signifies the full moon in June after the flowers turn into young grapes some honeysuckle Aromas followed by luscious mango and nectar Paired with roasting chicken & beautifully seasonal fingerling potatoes and this amazing rustic sweet potato bread gorgeous heirloom vegetables in a few various choices delicately cooking squash all seasoned to perfection bringing nutty joy to all in an aromatic feathery plume of goodness finally... green goddess dressing and roasted nuts, berries among other toppings for a brilliant salad. Oh...well any invitations still open? I'm not sure, but you can be my guest in the kitchen come along take your hat off what's the hurry? Cherie Nolan© 2016
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Sep 23, 2016
Sep 23, 2016 at 10:57 AM UTC
"Take Your Hat Off What's The Hurry- A Chef's Perspective"
He knows so many techniques He has proven his recipes The ingredients are there And he's ready to create But instead of waiting for his ideas to marinate Sometimes it's better To just go raw. Because like any good chef he can make things up on the go. And like every chef He is the first to taste and first impressions dominate. For better or worse.
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Jun 16, 2016
Jun 16, 2016 at 10:43 PM UTC
The Chef
dear . . . sweetie, the projections of your essence is the type to cook up a future of you; of the home you call your heart, or how you let it spill across the metal table, just to knead it back together to construct wholesome smiles. yours is the form of communication i've never known, a presence that haunts me - as the scent of your perfume lingers at the back of my tongue as i taste a sweet fruit, or how your stories speak to me as my eyes trickle such mundane appliances around me. you have taken not my heart, nor my soul. you have extracted from me fragments of my time; where i find myself caught in the air, mystically hearing the songs that were stuck in my head when i first met you. you are the soundtrack to my little death. you are always right in the corner of my mind, just as i want to see you: half-baked, smirking, and vulnerable.
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May 17, 2016
May 17, 2016 at 3:50 PM UTC
pâte sucreé
To any hulk of an exec chef,  or any sous with little **** syndrome, if you think for a minute you're keeping your fingers after waving them in my face, your mistaken. Go ***** to someone else you say, point taken. I will dessimate you when you forsake me, just as my father did and many boyfriends. I pity your unborn baby, who will inherit your anger and yell like you, and if she's a girl, she will learn to put up with rage like yours. Your very pregnant wife has to shuck oysters just to keep her level eye on you. How smart. You flirt with everything. But even she can't save you from yourself, when you're hopped up on only God knows. Disrespecting the women from your wife's country, your child's lineage. I don't care how many drops run in your own blood, thats not a charge card to say racist **** on top of being an ******* I will always pray that you find your way, make your wife feel safe, para siempre, instead of coming onto women everytime she's not watching. Get right with God, walk straight. I cannot work in a hostile kitchen, I don't do this **** for these tips. When I don't even break a hundred a night, I'm calling it quits, and even when I did, I do not need to be extending my anxiety into a physical reality of shaking hands or jumbled words caught up in my throat. You see, when you raise your voice to me, my brain doesn't think, this man is my boss who can't hit me, my body is too busy bracing, for what muscle memory recalls, following similar stimulis before. If you talk to me like I am an idiot like my father did, if you raise your voice to me like he and all following abusers did, I just might cut you slow with my words, for I am indelibly OVER. THIS. **** I quit Umberto after three years for his, so now I have a low tolerance. Insisting I can't do MY job, when it's not MY bad, if you're gonna take away my ability to defend myself, in a place I came to empower me, you better hope I feel merciful when you tell me to ***** to someone else when I say I don't appreciate the way you are speaking to us. I don't feel merciful, cuz I can't do this **** anymore. Getting in my face, saying I need to do my ******* job right if I want to take issue, cussing out a woman when I have done or said nothing wrong. I have always owned mistakes, if I said I did perfect this shift, you better back up off of it and stop talking to me like I'm some lying piece of **** idiot. Consider this my notice.
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Apr 24, 2016
Apr 24, 2016 at 4:21 AM UTC
Food RUNNER!
To any hulk of an exec chef,  or any sous with little **** syndrome, if you think for a minute you're keeping your fingers after waving them in my face, your mistaken. Go ***** to someone else you say, point taken. I will dessimate you when you forsake me, just as my father did and many boyfriends. I pity your unborn baby, who will inherit your anger and yell like you, and if she's a girl, she will learn to put up with rage like yours. Your very pregnant wife has to shuck oysters just to keep her level eye on you. How smart. You flirt with everything. But even she can't save you from yourself, when you're hopped up on only God knows. Disrespecting the women from your wife's country, your child's lineage. I don't care how many drops run in your own blood, thats not a charge card to say racist **** on top of being an ******* I will always pray that you find your way, make your wife feel safe, para siempre, instead of coming onto women everytime she's not watching. Get right with God, walk straight. I cannot work in a hostile kitchen, I don't do this **** for these tips. When I don't even break a hundred a night, I'm calling it quits, and even when I did, I do not need to be extending my anxiety into a physical reality of shaking hands or jumbled words caught up in my throat. You see, when you raise your voice to me, my brain doesn't think, this man is my boss who can't hit me, my body is too busy bracing, for what muscle memory recalls, following similar stimulis before. If you talk to me like I am an idiot like my father did, if you raise your voice to me like he and all following abusers did, I just might cut you slow with my words, for I am indelibly OVER. THIS. **** I quit Umberto after three years for his, so now I have a low tolerance. Insisting I can't do MY job, when it's not MY bad, if you're gonna take away my ability to defend myself, in a place I came to empower me, you better hope I feel merciful when you tell me to ***** to someone else when I say I don't appreciate the way you are speaking to us. I don't feel merciful, cuz I can't do this **** anymore. Getting in my face, saying I need to do my ******* job right if I want to take issue, cussing out a woman when I have done or said nothing wrong. I have always owned mistakes, if I said I did perfect this shift, you better back up off of it and stop talking to me like I'm some lying piece of **** idiot. Consider this my notice.
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1
She needs no comparison, My mom is simply the best! Her food preparations, Ah! The best chef ever. My satisfied smiling face, Is her biggest prize, she says.
0
Jan 6, 2016
Jan 6, 2016 at 11:08 PM UTC
The Best Chef