#casual
your breath caresses my neck,
skin prickles with anticipation to your lips,
my hands gently fondled by your fingers,
that press aimlessly at each digit.
we mindlessly dance in intimate conversations,
that serenade me to sleep,
while im trying to forget the reality of tomorrow,
of one where we simply do not exist.
yet, you are the scriber that maps the crevices of my body,
with the ghost of your touch commanding my arch,
where your lips trace the softness you have come to adore,
as our eyes lock with transient fleeting emotions,
we have promised to lock away.
but there is no blanket of denial,
that can scam the rhythm of your heartbeat i hear,
as it drums in synchrony of my own.
it threatens the definition of casual,
sworn with poorly inked pen that starts to fade,
where the boundaries and lines start to blur,
with reckless and urgent words thrown,
to keep you next to me,
for a little while longer.
4d ago
May 30, 2026 at 9:37 PM UTC
I dreamt of bein' a cool kid
wrapped in clouds
above all scrutiny
I used to be happy
filled with the fizz of life
Refreshment so high
Even smelling salts were dull and shabby
I wish to turn back time
a stupid little fantasy
I wish to relish that time
so what if it's a fantasy
If it can make you happy,
A solution, a remedy
I'd boldly embrace it
regardless of scrutiny
Mar 1
Mar 1, 2026 at 8:26 AM UTC
The moon seems pretty fat and round tonight,
Last time I checked, it was quite thin and light.
Its life may be going good with no fights,
Hence so plump, with a glow so bright.
I wonder what it stores in its larder great,
Will there be apples, berries and *** of late,
Or pies and cakes, wonder whose hands make,
Or food from other worlds, none speculate?
Good for you, o moon with no care,
So good a life you got, perched up there,
While we toil around, with rest quite rare,
While you eat cookies, round and fair.
Nov 7, 2025
Nov 7, 2025 at 4:47 PM UTC
You stole back the letters you gave to me
You have disappeared without a trace
I was holding on to any part of you that lingered
without you, everything aches
You´re a drug and I have become dependent
You stole the last doses I had
I´m going through withdrawals again
honestly, Its driving me mad
You yearn for someone to love
for someone to adore you
you weep about it daily
You look right over me
I think I might be going crazy...
I sit like a dog
begging for scraps from your table
And you stand above me
never giving,
but always able...
Does it make you feel in control?
to see you make me so upset
you have ruined me for everyone else
And I cannot forget
Sep 17, 2025
Sep 17, 2025 at 9:11 AM UTC
tell me you want just me
That I´m not just the convenient choice
water when you´d rather have wine
tell me that you only want me
that you want to be mine?
but you cant tell me that
if its not a lie.
I´m your backup plan, not the love of your life
Aug 29, 2025
Aug 29, 2025 at 10:57 AM UTC
i don’t want us
to be anything.
but sometimes i wonder
if i crossed your mind
the way you drift through mine.
why else would you give me
your plushie crocodile —
just in case
i miss you
while you’re away?
we’ve been spending
so much time together.
you keep finding ways
back into my head.
we’re not going to be a thing.
you told me.
i told you.
we shouldn’t work.
but baby —
we do.
Aug 14, 2025
Aug 14, 2025 at 12:30 PM UTC
dog leashed, tied onto a pitch-black pole
woven to the pillar, like you're woven to my soul
every thought about you pours acid in my heart
and i cough out the rest like blood
one day i'm scavenging for water, a paranoid dart
the next i'm drowning in a hot-pink flood
i saw you in the window of that small local store
after becoming a regular, the door wouldn't open anymore
but you looked so pretty when you were so far away
and for some reason i come back every day
but it was so good at first
you made me finally believe
that someone out there could love someone like me
and i told you what i did wrong
and you said you didn't care
but i must've mistaken that love was in the air
i try to talk to you
i try to understand
but every word i say to you
you repeat back, just bland
and you blame it on me?
you say i'm the confusing one
so i chase and chase, give and give
you never let me take some
it's my mistake i put love first
my mistake i wasn't rational
my mistake that when you said you liked me
i somehow didn't think it was casual
i'm a dog waiting at your door
saliva puddle on your wooden floor
i wait for you to come back
like i'm tied to a pole, pitch-black
my hunger has been satiated now
i open my eyes for the sixth time
this has gone much longer than i can allow
you're making me run out of rhyme
i guess it was my mistake that even then, even now
i somehow thought you would be mine.
Jun 1, 2025
Jun 1, 2025 at 9:03 PM UTC
🙏🏻
They feast with the wolves…
Bark with with the dogs…
Weep with the shepherds…
Guests at every table,
but a pillar at none.
Call them seasonal?
Situational?
Maybe,
Socially fluent? morally absent?
Friends to everyone…
and loyal to no one.
☝️
May 20, 2025
May 20, 2025 at 6:55 AM UTC
trying to get a little dopamine—
In somebody’s lap.
Flashbacks.
Shivering.
Hands,
hands,
hands.
Mar 8, 2025
Mar 8, 2025 at 1:23 PM UTC
“Bodies are bodies and bodies will touch”,
— Inviting and warm, a set, themed as a house—
Same role to play, a different guest star,
Bodies are bodies and bodies will touch,
— Cheers of the crowd. It’s a wrap, credits roll. —
Feb 18, 2025
Feb 18, 2025 at 2:47 PM UTC
Under my umbrella
rain hitting all around
getting wet anyway
so I take it down.
I really don't mind
it's been a hot day,
and the rain seems to
wash all my blues away.
Rain covers my face like tears,
but they are of joy
not of pains or fears.
Into every life they say
some rain must fall.
But I'll not complain,
the sun always shines
brighter after the rain.
And as I said,
it's been a very hot day.
And this cool refreshing rain
was sorely needed anyway.
Feb 10, 2025
Feb 10, 2025 at 12:43 PM UTC
We met in the worst possible way,
Two hearts left broken, led astray.
You said, "You know what? Love isn’t real,
So let’s just start to play."
No longer was she the lover girl,
Who believed that love’s a twirl—
A dance, a whirlwind romance
No longer was he the gentleman,
Who buys you flowers, who takes your hand,
Someone who believes love’s something grand
Because they’ve both loved someone before,
Built a home, then closed the door,
Both left crying on the floor
So when they met,
They didn’t believe
That love was something they could give
So they just played—
There’s a spark, “It’ll just fade,” they said
Because they met each other in their worst state,
Not expecting love to find a way.
Jan 25, 2025
Jan 25, 2025 at 12:31 PM UTC
My relationship with life is nonconsensual
Now-a-days, a cancelable scandal
The back and forth we share is not equal
My portion is shameful
Should have never taken it past casual
That's when it took control
Thoughts creep in of the unforgivable
Turning out the lights on this carnival
The last note I jot on my last thought pressed to vinal
Drop the needle at the funeral
©2024
Oct 15, 2024
Oct 15, 2024 at 8:27 PM UTC
There’s no substitute for life.
I find myself,
seduced by yearnings.
I’m flourishing here,
contemplating sin.
I’ve nothing to do
when I’ve nothing but time.
I’m reusing solitudes -
they’ve become ragged.
What’s the answer then?
Should I seal my girly heart,
engage in uncaring kisses
like it’s ‘casual friday’ -
connive brief excitements
- just to feel a pulse?
Mar 4, 2024
Mar 4, 2024 at 9:42 AM UTC
I can feel every eye roll
And all I did was pour out what was left of my soul
Looks like I might be the only one to see it from that angle
Like it's painful
I brush it off and project as being humble
Really I'm only diminishing what makes me emotional
It's just standard business as usual
A series of unfortunate events themed carousel
The victim blaming has become so casual
That I somehow become the spectacle
Put a screen between us and then I bet they'd care though
Convinced themselves I'm some kind of animal
Chomping at the bit, waiting to say "I told you so"
Waiting for said moment from the get go
Was it always the plan to poke at the volcano?
The saying only mentions a bear, though the volcano makes it more...what's the word...I don't know, disasterful...
That's not a word but that's what came to mind cause the mind isn't always rational
Whatever, anyway, on a long enough timeline you're bound to get burnt, we're all flammable
A majority of us are expendable
Not essential even if dependable
Reluctantly invited to the annual shiit show
The HUD flashes on arrival
"WARNING WARNING, CONDITION CRITICAL!"
But we've been lied to before, for example
Take a look at religion and the political
What's actual?
What's factual?
And what's just another game by Hasbro?
What are you looking at me for? I don't fuuckin' know
Try tying it to a white flag and running it up the flagpole
©2024
Mar 2, 2024
Mar 2, 2024 at 7:18 PM UTC
Mary, the daughter of some parental friends, is on her high-school-senior college-tour and my mom (on Face Time) told me their plans called for them to be in New Haven over the weekend.
Mom, “Would you mind taking an hour to give her a campus tour?”
I rolled my eyes saying, “I barely know the place myself.”
She waited silently with obvious, parental patience.
“I’ve got a TON of homework,” I pleaded.
“I’d owe you,” she said, encouragingly.
I sighed, struggling with my new and heavy burden, “ALL right,” I groaned.
Mary and I know each other from hospital events we couldn’t avoid (her dad is an emergency surgeon) but we’ve never hit it off.
I take some pride in being able to talk about anything - from football to politics or movies to fashion but Mary’s one and only interest is guys.
Mary’s one of those girls who HAS to have a boyfriend - like there’s a municipal ordinance requiring one - and just about any guy will do. She didn’t even have to particularly like them but they had to be Instagram pretty.
So any time I’d see her (we didn’t go to the same school) she’d have a Tom or Ed or Frank in tow, filling that boyfriend requirement and due to the high boyfriend turnover rate, she’d constantly and embarrassingly flirt with other potential boyfriends right in front of Mr. Now. It was enough to shame my gender.
A typical Mary conversation:
“Are you dating anyone?” She’d ask.
“No,” I’d admit.
“You’re just shy,” she’d say, “You just need to put yourself out there.”
She was positive and encouraging, even in the face of increased competition.
“I used to be shy,” she revealed. Which I doubted very much.
Anyway, once they (her Mom joined us) were certified vaccinated, we got a student volunteer for a real Yale tour. I love the “Harry Potter” look of old campus. (COVID restrictions limit where visitors can go).
I find I already have a sense of “ownership” here and I secretly hope she ends up somewhere else. I waved as they drove off, wishing her a bucket of instagram smiles.
Oct 2, 2021
Oct 2, 2021 at 9:36 AM UTC
...
"Yeah I know, I know.
It's okay to show emotion,
to let it out sometimes.
I'll be careful yes.
I'll ask for help if I need any.
Onions and garlic to the oil for more fragnance, right?
I forgot the lasagne recipe tho.
I got skinnier? You think?
Swalloing food isn't easy at the moment, I'm trying.
Hm? Ah stain, where?
I just washed it tho.
How do you get ink stains out?
And red wine?
Yes I will go easy on the alcohol.
Work has been rough. I'm not good with...
I said work has been rough lately.
No you're not deaf. I just mumble you know that.
My teeth are in fact not stuck together. See? grrrr
At least the stuttering got better.
I actually managed to ask out a women the other day.
Yes she is cute.
MOM!
That's why I never tell you anything.
...
I'm getting a bit cold here.
Hope you don't mind that I borrowed your coat.
It just fits me so much better than you.
No but the colour brings out my pretty eyes so much better.
Yeah I know I got your eyes, you kept telling me.
Better get going or I'll miss the train.
I'll see you then.
Bye Mom."
...
rests flowers on her grave
.
Mar 8, 2021
Mar 8, 2021 at 5:17 AM UTC
The end result of talking to someone who has their read receipts on is the nagging feeling that whatever you said was not worthy of a response.
Your message is just one of many unanswered notifications that when added together equal a red bubble on a screen that gets ignored and forgotten.
Regardless of the meaning behind it - you feel ignored and forgotten.
So why do you still try.
Each message you send is like an arrow shot with no ending destination hoping to land near something that resembles some sense of stability before shooter loses their balance.
Each moment between messages drags longer and longer while think, “please turn from delivered to read”
You know they’re just busy.
So you wait a few hours, no response in sight. So, like a fool, you cast out a new arrow, as if you have an endless supply.
And you watch within minutes their name hits the screen, because your existence is remembered. So you quickly respond as to hold their attention that you have been craving all day. But that’s all you are going to get.
Because as much as you want to think you are someone special
You’re just a blip. Nothing more than a name on a screen that just gets swiped away. Just a number in a little red bubble waiting to be remembered.
Dec 21, 2020
Dec 21, 2020 at 11:20 PM UTC
glossily white attitude, princess and rainbow goon
how i'm feeling you, don't have to lie, last night
we were blasting off, flying, watching our city
when i woke up, you were laughing, you are lifestyle
i'm your drug, like beat and melody, djset and rapz
we are totally white like the meetings of escada
24/7 way of life, the pulse of days flashing past
look, my name is tizzop, look, how i'm splashing
this waterfall is soaking you, powerful pressure
jason is stuck to the mirrors, drive-bys and k.o.
100.000, 00 $, spent on a party night
you can start hating me, you better go skating
i am excessively ray ban and i love to fill mouths
enuff talking, let's go, for sure, 3:05 am
mercedes maybach and chauffeur, life is easy
i deal with twelve souls, soon to be trippled
all the kids are trippin', pearly white nights like frippin
i am writing on snowwhite cliffs, ocean full of glowing fishs
i got the magical pillow, you may fall in love with me
always hitting the center, mansions for your longing
Sep 2, 2020
Sep 2, 2020 at 6:12 PM UTC
...into the womb of my affection
your spread legs are hollering:
"action!"
May 19, 2020
May 19, 2020 at 10:04 AM UTC
They told me I could be
anything that I wanted to be
So I picked a picture,
Putting the pieces together;
Worked hard.
Now, I'm here where I wanted to be;
Seeing the whole picture.
It's all worth it.. or maybe not.
Maybe I could redecorate.
Maybe I could be something more.
Tired, I went to bed.
The next morning, I woke up, and everything was on fire.
Apr 25, 2020
Apr 25, 2020 at 8:50 AM UTC