#carcrash
TRIGGER WARNING
I think maybe
I want to die
I think so, I'm not sure.
Don't really think
About cutting
Just don't want to endure
I guess that I
Just know that when
I see a gravel ledge
I wonder if
It might be nice
To drive right off the edge
I think maybe
I want to die
I could be wrong, I guess
All I know is
Sometimes I feel
I live under duress
I don't know what
This feeling is–
An illness, I suppose
But living does
Not give me life
No scent holds to a rose
I think maybe
I want to die
I think so, I don't know
Oblivion
Seems much preferred
To more days moving slow
Colors, they don't
Seem as bright
The sky–it starts to fade
I wish it would
Be over now
And I could waste away
I think maybe
I want to die
I almost did last week
A flash of white
And silver hues
And tires start to squeak
And when the car
Came straight for me
I promise I won't lie
I had no thought
For my own life
I think I want to die.
Sep 4, 2025
Sep 4, 2025 at 5:27 AM UTC
Hit the brake!
Hit it, quick!
We're going too fast,
Destination unknown,
We're going into a car crash,
That's well known!
We didn't just met, apparently
We're bound to be collided,
Been gaining traction
Now it's unavoided
In this autopilot
The prisoner has gone mad,
madenned
This is not going where they think it is
Hidden agenda of fate is always a surprise
A gem or a granade trap,
Or both in one
Scary nor exciting
Help ourselves, we must hit it now!
Mar 17, 2024
Mar 17, 2024 at 3:25 AM UTC
i've been waking up to desaturation all my life.
i don't know why but i've been
rolling over in the same grey-skinned body,
opening shoddy eyes, heart heavy
as a hangover. i climb into your chevy with
it in my hands. i know this is the fifth time i've lit
a cigarette since i quit, but my lungs needed the ash.
did you know, in a car crash, just one person
not wearing a seatbelt would worsen the casualties?
so if you see the casual ease with which i bare my chest,
know that the carnage of my reckless form,
hail in a storm of steel and violence, at least felt sorry.
the starry dark of a backroad, an explosion of light,
a bright metal supernova and colors even my eyes can't doubt;
we'll all find out exactly how heavy my guilt
is when the body sorrow built ascends through the windshield.
May 27, 2021
May 27, 2021 at 1:34 AM UTC
sitting in my car
crying on my birthday
trying to drive on
swerving through the turn lane
another year, another fear
I'm anxious as I steer
then my eyes well with tears and I can't see the road
crashed my car let me go home
I don't want to be here anymore
people stare but they aren't looking
it's my ******* birthday
trying to drive on
swerving off the road and I'm gone
another year another fear
I wish for death as I steer
crashed my car let me go home
I wanna die on the day that I was born
Feb 3, 2021
Feb 3, 2021 at 6:08 PM UTC
at what point
in human evolution
did we earn
a benevolent god?
did the phytoplankton
get a god?
the apes?
who is the deer praying to
when it finds out
in the end, heaven and headlight coalesce—
libation hits the tar and we know
it’s all we’ll ever leave behind.
maybe
the definition of humanity begins
at the simple hope
of all this work
being worth something.
Jan 22, 2021
Jan 22, 2021 at 3:42 PM UTC
long black hair and white pale skin
piercing eyes whilst sipping gin.
don't know what's happening but let's begin
our story.
flashing lights and thumping bass
I can't even feel my face.
I feel like I'm going into
dangerous territory.
now your putting your number in my phone
and saying that you need a lift home
but I can't see and my head
is blurry.
but you look so good so i give in
not knowing what's going to happen, not thinking
we jump in the car and begin
our journey.
we're driving fast through the hillside
then some lorry comes past and hits the side
of my car.
Nov 2, 2020
Nov 2, 2020 at 1:18 PM UTC
turn up & Sing
"Head Like a hole"
Side glass broke
You Drove a hateful Spear to his Side
Stronger than reason
Is No Reason !
No Reason?
Yes
No Reason!
Devouring his Corpse
Your Lord & Savoir
Gasoline Is his Blood
body made out of Glass
Cannibal Class was and always
Stressed Out & Driving Crazy
Benz, Benzo & Beach
Benz,Benzo & Beach!
Benz, Benzo & ******* Beach!!!
Come on get your Soul,( Come on)
You Sold out Your Hope
Leaders For Dope
Money Owns You
Yeaaaaaaaah
A
BS
SOL
UTEL
YFUCKI
NMENTAL
..............................
Oct 21, 2020
Oct 21, 2020 at 5:47 AM UTC
Sweet pitter-patter,
The drumming of raindrops,
Lulling me gently,
To realms of sweet dreams,
And bright lights.
That soothing tapping,
Of raindrops hitting,
A freshly washed windshield,
Cradled against plush leather seats,
By tightly pulled seatbelt.
A loud crack of thunder,
Even sounds restful,
On the side of a well-worn highway,
Lighting the night sky,
Like a beacon of hope.
The sickly pitter-patter,
Of crimson drops hitting leather,
Contrasted to the beauty of the rain,
Trapped beneath seatbelts,
And bent metal.
Sweet soft drumming,
Of raindrops on my window,
And the ruined hood of my car,
If the lightning beacon doesn't bring help soon,
I am at least glad...
...to see one last rainstorm.
Mar 10, 2020
Mar 10, 2020 at 9:52 AM UTC
The car flips.
Over the railing--
Down the side of a grassy hill with hidden rocks.
I let go.
Arms up like roller-coaster fun.
Glass flies through the air;
It's perfect.
The light reflecting angelically.
7 year old sister still laughing--
Baby brother with a gap toothed smile.
Mother soars through the windshield;
Finally free.
Dad hits his head against the dashboard, and seems not to mind.
Our family blood mixes together;
Staining everything it touches.
The radio sings the latest haunting pop song.
We bicker over what station to change it to.
The car stays rolling, and with arms up.
Like good ole' fashioned family fun.
Oct 31, 2019
Oct 31, 2019 at 10:13 AM UTC
I wanted to say something with some significance urgently,
but like usual, I just bit my tongue & swallowed my words,
washing my words down unwillingly with plural rounds,
of complimentary shots from the open bar,
she didn’t even notice, because, as usual she was,
stuck on her phone, serving it more than it served her,
I wanted to remind her urgently, that I was there,
that she was there as well, that we were there,
I wanted to remind her urgently, to remember the memories,
before they were permanently gone, & forgotten forever,
lost in the sands of time, stuffed in the depths of our minds,
gone like skeletons in closets, faded like colors in sunsets, washed away like sand castles by the sea,
she was only ever there during ***
only then would our souls connect & our eyes meet,
only then would she be present, without interference,
& our *** was the best, no debate, carnal yet caring,
physical yet spiritual, gentle yet rough, selfless yet selfish,
still as good as the *** was, I wanted more,
I wanted more of her, I wanted more of her there with me,
for I felt that all too familiar feeling of impermanence,
that this too would pass, as everything does,
that we too wouldn’t last & that time was our nemesis,
this gave me anxiety & anguish, so bad I wanted to speak up,
but I just clammed up, I bit my tongue, swallowed my words,
& swept all these underlying emotions under the rug,
see we were doing good, good enough to not make a scene,
or at least it seemed, & I didn’t wish to mess things up for us,
didn’t wish to arouse her inner child,
for that child was fierce, that child was a terror,
that child could be sweet but also bitter,
that child was sometimes a dream, but mostly a nightmare,
life is, sometimes a dream, but, mostly a nightmare,
so I didn’t make current waves, I just rode surfer waves,
as we rode in Uber cars, driven by newer slaves,
wanted nothing more for us than a way to escape,
wanted nothing more from her, nothing except her time,
how silly am I, to want the only thing that money can’t buy,
I wanted to say something with some significance urgently,
but like usual, I just bit my tongue & swallowed my words,
washing my words down unwillingly with plural rounds,
of complimentary shots from the open bar,
after a decent amount of time, maybe a few months,
I finally spoke, words which to this day I still regret,
words that would set in motion our end,
even though I didn’t know it yet,
I said,
“You love that phone more than you love me, so I’m leaving!”,
this sentence, like all the most hurtful sentences are,
was made up of a combination of truth, anger, & passion,
was made out of a sense of desperation, hatred, & love,
& I don’t know if you can actually witness a heartbreak,
but if you can, if you can witness & actually recognize it,
then I saw her heart break in that moment,
& it signified the beginning of our end catalyzing,
her heart broke for all the reasons a heart breaks,
she felt betrayed, attacked, misunderstood, & neglected,
she felt she had given me her everything & that I rejected it,
that I’d disrespected it & worst of all felt I didn’t detect it,
there were no tears, there was no explanations,
no reaction, no pleading, no reasoning,
there were only misinterpreted intentions for no reason,
& an escalation of arguments used as excuses for our abuses,
the truth is, I loved her,
more than any girl before, or any girl after,
but you know what they say,
you never really miss what you have until it’s gone,
you never really miss who you have until they’re gone,
you never get a chance to say goodbye once they’re gone,
“c’est la vie” life goes on, even when account’s overdrawn,
morally bankrupt, we broke up, as most couples eventually do,
going our separate ways with severed ties & broken hearts,
each of us holding separate parts of each other’s lies & truth.
We went cold turkey, no calls, no emails, no text.
We didn’t speak for months, still I thought about her every day.
It’s strange how close someone can feel,
even when they are so far away,
it’s strange how far someone can feel,
even when they are right there with you,
sometimes I feel closer to someone, when they are not there,
if you love someone let them go,
the heart only grows fonder with time,
& if they return some day you know that they’re there to stay.
One day, I don’t remember the exact day, I called her,
craving to hear her soft tones in my ears once more,
to my surprise she answered, “Who’s this?”
“It’s me.”, I replied to remind her,
there was a long pause,
“Oh, my Love, it’s been months!” she exclaimed excitedly,
months in this city can feel like years,
“So good to hear from you Babe, can I text you later?”,
the sentence didn’t make sense,
I didn’t desire another text conversation,
I desired to hear her voice, to see her face,
still, it had been months,
& I didn’t want to scare her off with overt emotions,
it’s a strange time when people are scared of love letters,
I wanted to tell her,
that time is passing faster than any of us realize,
that life is too short,
to not spend every living moment with someone you love,
that we should be celebrated as miracles,
not neglected as mistakes to be ignored,
I wanted to say something so bad, but like usual,
I just bit my tongue & swallowed my words,
reminding me of all those nights we’d spent at the bar,
so in order not to startle her I only said “Ok.”,
she said, “Thanks!”, & we both hung up our phones,
thinking she wouldn’t text back, & I’d again be left alone,
to my surprise, she called me that same night,
& confessed she loved my madly,
& that us being together in this world of wrong,
seemed like the only thing that felt right anymore,
so we made a plan, to have dinner the next day,
& every moment in anticipation, felt like forever to wait,
we were to meet at this little bistro on Sunset,
I arrived a bit early just in case & shot her a text,
she texted me back instantly saying she was on her way,
felt as eager sitting there as a high school kid on his first date,
to my shock & surprise she stood me up, at first I was upset,
until I learned that in her defense it wasn’t her fault,
see she’d died in a car crash on Crescent Heights & Sunset,
cause of death a text she was sending me before she crashed,
in that last moment, she’d sent me a text that was never sent, & I later found out when I read it that this is what it said,
“Baby I love you, sorry I’m late, I’m on my way, see you soon.”.
& we’re still waiting,
but now the tables have turned,
now she’s waiting for me to get off my phone,
& come back home.
So I send this message to her in Heaven in hopes it’s received,
“Baby I love you, sorry I’m late, I’m on my way, see you soon.”..
∆ LaLux ∆
Poem #55 from the best selling poetry book
THHT3: The Hollywood Hills Trilogy 3
available here: www.amazon.com/dp/B07XJRBSKD
Sep 17, 2019
Sep 17, 2019 at 11:13 PM UTC
and i sat for many years
on the passenger seat
of our ford ranger,
letting tears fall
down on the pillow
of silence and sadness,
of swears and talking downs.
and i sat for many years
on the passenger seat
of our ford ranger
waiting for it to crash —
wondering if i would crash it
or drive off a cliff
had i been the one driving.
and i sat for many years
on the passenger seat
of our ford ranger
disregarding seatbelts,
and wishing it was
the very last ride.
and i sat for many years
on the passenger seat
of our ford ranger,
you, meeting the snow storm, head-on
headlights fading
or maybe it was the last of bits light
ensnared by
the crashes and the blood
and the cars burning
on the side of the road.
and i sat on our
passenger seat
for the last time, dad.
and not anymore.
Jul 26, 2019
Jul 26, 2019 at 5:09 AM UTC
you made a playlist
of songs about
car crashes
not because you
want to die
but because
your mind
does
Jan 6, 2019
Jan 6, 2019 at 10:04 PM UTC
Of all the fun Ive ever had
Almost all I've never told you
From vaping in the car
To drinking in my friends basement bar
Almost all I've never told you
Nearly crashing a car
Kissing strangers just for fun
Smelling like **** a ton
Sneaking out to a friend's wedding
To seeing the cops pull up and dreading
You hearing about all the fun I've had that I've never told you
But you never knew, never found out about
The times I don't want to forget
You don't know about them yet
And my only regret out of all of it
Is that I can't tell you one bit
Nov 3, 2018
Nov 3, 2018 at 3:45 PM UTC
She dreams in yellow waves.
In summer time she wishes that she were asleep than awake.
Eyes shut.
Weightless but not for long.
A shot of blood against the windshield.
She regrows her roots into consciousness at the speed of darkness.
She thinks.
Over contemplating the smell of burnt rubber and musky metal.
She watches her dislocated broken body wash from the ocean cliff into the abyss.
Oct 8, 2018
Oct 8, 2018 at 4:04 PM UTC
Wonderful
You to me are wonderful; you came along and rocked my world.
You made me see, that I could be, anything I wanted to be.
You made me chase all of my dreams;
You made them become a reality.
The day you crashed in to my world;
The same day you became my girl.
The day we went for a drink in the pub;
The day we got extremely drunk.
The day you met some of my friends;
The day you wrote off my Mercedes Benz.
I drove along like every other day
And there you were, I saw your face.
I could see that you were besotted with me;
As deep into your eyes I could see.
You made the whole world disappear
And then you hit my car and then it got hit in the rear.
I don't recall his protestations;
I don't recall our head on collision.
I don't recall feeling any pain;
I think you kissed it all away.
As you floated down into my life,
I found love at first sight.
When you bumped into me, I got quite a fright,
Because you came along and completely changed my life.
The two of us, are now dancing hand in hand,
To the muffled complaints of an angry man;
But he cannot bring bad karma, into our bubble.
He cannot make either of us worry.
But please could I have your insurance details
And carry you away to the nearest hospital?
For you are not hurt and neither am I;
But I'd like to get away from that angry guy.
So could you pretend to faint and I'll carry you home,
So the two of us can be all alone.
(C)2013 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Jul 10, 2018
Jul 10, 2018 at 8:32 AM UTC
One For The Road
A mother cries, at her babies smile,
Because everything is alright.
A father lies dying in his car,
He’s not coming home tonight.
If only he had changed his ways,
If only he had used his head today.
If he hadn’t gone out to celebrate,
Maybe he would be coming home again.
There’s been another crash on Route 66,
That left a single mother with a newborn kid.
It’s just another headline news story,
It’s just another drink-drive tragedy.
So drink! And drive! And party all night,
It feels so good to turn out the lights.
It feels so good to step on the gas,
It feels so good, until you crash!
So drink! And drive! And party all night,
It feels so good to turn out the lights.
It feels so good to step on the gas,
It feels so good, until you crash!
A man lies dying in his car,
He dreams of holding his baby in his arms.
But we all know that will never happen;
Never again will he know happiness.
We all know how the story ends;
A single mother with a newborn kid.
Another crash on Route 66,
Another victim of the Devils drink.
Another headline news story,
Another drink-drive tragedy.
So drink! And drive! And party all night,
It feels so good to turn out the lights.
It feels so good to step on the gas,
It feels so good, until you crash!
So drink! And drive! And party all night,
It feels so good to turn out the lights.
It feels so good to step on the gas,
It feels so good, until you crash!
So if you’re drunk and sat in a bar,
Just hand over the keys to your car.
Go and call yourself a cab,
Because it's not too late for you to be a good Dad.
(C)2013 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Jun 21, 2018
Jun 21, 2018 at 3:44 PM UTC
They replaced the road.
with a different colour.
A much lighter grey,
then the other tiles,
that overlap and flow.
They replaced the road,
to mask the crimson red,
to stop children from seeing splatters on the tile,
growing up too young.
They replaced the road
so that we don't have to see
as those who are gone are always forgotten.
But we won't forget you,
who made us realise the impermanence
Too young, we are for this.
They replaced the road,
But I don't go there anymore
I don't see the lighter grey,
of which crimson used to be,
before, there was security
a bliss of ignorance.
Becuase with every loss of life,
there comes new
a new feeling
a new sadness
a new road tile.
What else has been covered up?
Jun 14, 2018
Jun 14, 2018 at 9:14 AM UTC
Ghost bike
Another ghost bike, chain around my heart.
Another fallen hero, gone up past the stars.
Another soul, lost in the night.
Another memory begins to fade; gone is this twilight.
Haunted by a voice of angels.
Sorrowful cards, praise the truth.
Strike a fist against a table;
Demand another chance to love them anew.
Banish the pain; remove the scars that this world leaves behind,
When people go to wherever they are.
Speak your words, tell their tale.
All are taken too soon from this Earth of ours;
We all need to find a grail.
Broken street lamps; tires screech.
Understand and continue to speak.
Change the mindset; cracks in the pavements.
When there is nothing left, but regrets,
Will you begin to make amends?
Broken headlights on bumper cars.
We need to reverse the damage we do.
Rebuild the human and give them more care.
So self-aware; so always lacking being there.
Live a life inside your phone
And all you will be left with are bright lights and broken bones.
(C)2017 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
May 30, 2018
May 30, 2018 at 7:48 AM UTC
**A nother day.
C arelessly we go about.
C RASH!
I can only remember so much,
D ismayed, we all started to cry.
E verone will be O.K." They rushed.
N ightmares that leave me awake,
T hanking God, we are all alive.
May 12, 2018
May 12, 2018 at 11:36 PM UTC
*Celebrity car crash,
Diana's obliterated,
so sad so sad, and the world goes round
Twenty-one years later, and it's no accident
The Ryder had killed them poor *******
But we'll get the ********** we'll get the **********
The sidewalk ain't safe, the playground ain't safe, the schools ain't safe, but hey, my home is safe for now
I'll eat spaghetti out of a can if I have to,
I'll **** in the bucket if I have to,
Just to keep my poor *** safe from the loonies
Marked safe, I'm listening to static all of the time
Living under the rock is cool and calm
Until the jackhammer penetrates my skull
You're safe, you're not safe,
and the world goes round*
Apr 23, 2018
Apr 23, 2018 at 6:36 PM UTC
Steel seams once welded
safety torn and matted
scattered among the blood
I waited, perched
facing the pound
silhouettes of people dance
Lights of blue flash next to red
hurried bodies take in the flesh
torn and matted among the blood
Pebbles tossed create ripples
one action has lingered effects
silhouettes and shadows dance
As I wait,
uniforms investigate, the damage
the glass shards mingle among ****** hair
the scent of burning floats aware
I turn to the breeze
Imaging your hair twined to the wind, dancing
I wait for your embrace
but you never came
Mar 22, 2018
Mar 22, 2018 at 3:58 PM UTC
things have not been okay in these past few months
to the point...i don't wear a seatbelt
a lonely body flowing through a crowded world
i thought i'd found my purpose
the hurt never went away and i'm stuck here in this game of tug-a-rope but I'M THE ROPE
and both sides are against me
i didn't care if i lived or died i was living in a gray area
a small light appears
it makes my chest explode
it makes my eyes water
i see my body and i remember i am real
i am terrified the light is a flame that will
catch me on fire and i will go up in a blaze
never to return
but i don't care because for once i am real
for once i care
I STARTED WEARING A SEATBELT FOR GOD'S SAKE SO HOW THE **** CAN THIS BE WRONG
all i see are blurs of made up colours
every sound is the screeching of metal against metal
there are screams
glass shatters
my mind is a car crash
Feb 14, 2018
Feb 14, 2018 at 3:16 PM UTC
the rain used to be my favorite
the sky was crying with us
until I got swallowed up by it
my bones crushing with each trick
no seatbelt
thought I wasn’t going to live
I was ready to say goodbye to this world
but when the car finally stopped I was still alive
I started screaming why
I could smell blood and soil
I thought it was finally by time to say goodbye
police, ambulance, and a helicopter arrive
“mam have you been drinking or are you on any drugs”
glass in my hair
I felt like there was no air
it was getting hard to breathe
my whole body was broken
mostly my heart
they should’ve left me to die
- sorry about the car
Dec 2, 2017
Dec 2, 2017 at 11:22 PM UTC
Oh why, oh why do we all have to die?
Accident's and suicide is it really all that better on the other side?
Car crashes and burning buildings, now we are all dead;
Jumping from not so safe buildings and playing with not so toy guns;
Chalk outlines and splatters on the walls.
My oh my, what has happened to us all?
I see my death before I die with my very own eyes.
I'm just so done with watching my death a thousand different times on rewind.
And ever night I scream inside and in these dreams my skin is bleeding and my face is pale.
The water's flowing and sirens are going.
I'm hanging there with rope tied around my throat.
And in these dreams I replay a thousand times in my mind I always end up dying.
In reality I'm only sitting there crying.
A wish to come true after I'm through with high school because a pact was made to save my life,
But now I've been slowly dying.
Sep 15, 2016
Sep 15, 2016 at 7:46 PM UTC