#cantstopthinking
My heart is having an affair
with sarcasm
My mind doesn't want to admit
the truth
My soul is in a blissful state
of irony
My eyes are blind to anyone
but you
Dec 15, 2014
Dec 15, 2014 at 6:32 PM UTC
Sometimes I lay on my bed and stare out my window.
I wonder what you're doing
I wonder if you ever think of me...
Of us.
You are so good at pretending...
But me; not so much.
Whenever I see you.
Or say your name
My heart jumps and my stomach flutters.
Whenever I think of you
I relive all the times we've talked,
Touched...
Kissed.
I hate to admit it but I miss it.
I miss sneaking out with you and running away to the park.
I miss laying in your arms as we stared into the stars.
I miss...February. And March. And July. And August.
That's the truth.
I miss when we had something...
Even if that something was hardly anything to you...
It was everything to me.
April, May and June...
When we became nothing...
When that something we had was just a dream for you
And a bitter sweet reality for me...
When we became strangers...
Life hurt.
My eyes grew tired
And my face began to wash away the smile I had painted on.
You were once the reason I stopped cutting...
And why I was happy.
Then you became just another reason for me to hack away at my skin again.
I don't think you realize how much you broke me.
But then again maybe you didn't...
Maybe you just helped me...
Sometimes...I lay on my bed and think of you.
Sometimes...I let the sunlight that shines through my window dance along my forearm.
Sometimes...I can still make out the scars.
And that's when it comes to my mind.
And I wonder...
Does he even think about me...about what we used to be?
Does it ever come to his mind, like it sometimes comes to mine?
Nov 6, 2014
Nov 6, 2014 at 10:44 AM UTC
It's when the sun sinks down
When the coyotes start to howl
I feel my thoughts knotting and rising
The web in my brain spreading, criticizing
I want to lull into a sleep so white
That the thinking can't hold tight
Its the time of night
While the world sleeps tight
My body feels the weight
Of my minds loud awake state
"Anywhere but here"
But taking the first step
To going anywhere
Means I must first learn to be here
May 27, 2018
May 27, 2018 at 12:34 AM UTC