#buriedalive
My biggest fear is being buried alive
When I see scenes in movies where that happens,
I can’t breathe, it feels as if the walls are closing in
Claustrophobia makes my brows glisten with moisture
Like the dew on strands of grass in the early mornings
But some people spend their lives buried alive,
Like my father, who buries his emotions
Subsequently teaching his little girl to do the same
Cramming each tear, frustration and sorrow down
Forcibly making them fit into a container
Like placing your weight on a moving box while taping it
Lest all of the contents spill over, like angry lava pouring down the sides of Mt. St Helen’s
My grief had no room to fit in the box, my box
That soft spring day with sunshine beaming down
I don’t think he had room to place his grief in either
So everyone had to bleed as he did
Me, the girl in my history class,
The blonde from debate, her friend too,
The upperclassman I always saw opening her locker
So I buried my grief, I buried that 16 year old girl that was *****
She had been gutted, ripped open
Flesh and muscles split
To reveal the bones underneath, the skull of a **** sapien
The only proof that she is still human
I shoved her entrails back inside of her
Sewed her up to stop the blood
And buried her
I buried her in the fields with the sunflowers,
Dug her grave so deep, not even the animals could find her
I imagined her becoming a skeleton, losing all of her human features
Becoming bare and dry, underneath the soil being baked by the Midwest sun
But she’s been alive this entire time
She’s been breathing through the lungfuls of dirt
The changes of the season, each planetary retrograde and falling star
I buried her six feet under,
I couldn’t carry all of her grief, her tragedy, her pain
So I condemned her, caged her
Like an exotic animal left to pace its enclosure
I buried her alive
But she’s been knocking-
No, pounding
Pounding with two balled up fists
Filled with rage of biblical proportions
Disturbing the Earth, making the flora shake
She has been the thunder roaring like a hungry beast
The torrents of rain slicing through the air
The monstrous crashing of waves slamming against the shore
The deafening smash of boulders colliding with other boulders
She has been the screaming in my nightmares
The flashbacks that I can’t erase
The thoughts swirling in my head until it aches
She has been the guttural moans that escape my lips
When I can’t breathe and my cheek is pressed to the bathroom tile
She has been the burning ember
That I feel in my chest
The tiny beads of sweat coating my palms,
Making them slick
She has been the angry, thrashing bird
Trapped within the walls of my chest
Like a caged bird
Hitting the interior near my heart
Like windowpanes and glass doors
Once I finally heard her screams
I returned to the burial site
I didn’t need a grave marker or a headstone
I could feel the vibrations
Underneath the ground
Shaking everything above
I’ve unearthed her
My trowel delicately parting the earth
Revealing the skeleton of the girl I once was
All of the bones still intact
As the soft bristles of my brush
Wipe away the soil and earth
The first gentle touch
She’s felt in over a decade
I buried myself alive
Like the ancestors before me
But I’ve been breaking apart the soil
Listening to it whisper its secrets
Taking the weight off of that little girl’s shoulders
She was buried and erased
But she will be erased no more
There is no longer a box or a cage
Because she was never meant to be condemned to one
I have breathed life back into her
Reanimated her bones
Brought her back from the Midwestern earth
May 14
May 14, 2026 at 7:28 PM UTC
#
*I look up at the clock
I look back down
The page is blank
But the words flow out
I start to write
I start to worry
Time is running out
I can't breathe
Clawed hands reach out
They fit 'round my neck
They suffocate me
Until I'm out of breath
The claws push me back
And now I'm in the dark
I'm trapped in a box
Like a work of art
I breathe in dirt
Now I'm underground
Six feet under
Barely making a sound
"Let me out"
I hopelessly scream
"Let me breathe
Please hear me"
It's silent now
I've stopped trying
But I hear a whisper
Relentlessly saying
"Roses are red
Violets are blue
I got buried
So should you"*
#
Feb 5, 2019
Feb 5, 2019 at 10:39 AM UTC
Shoved and crammed into a worm box
As he smuggle stood on top
***** I'm burying you alive"
"No one will hear your cries"
The worms wiggled around behind my back
I struggled there in the pitch black
The smell of freash earth was so overpowering
And on top he just stood there towering
I clawed at the lid
Of that old frig
But he was to heavy it did not give
My oxygen was soon depleted
I knew then I was defeated
Buried alive in a worm box
Who would of ever thought
As you can see I survived that day
But when at last on a cold slab I lay
And when they put that tag on my toe
It's off to the crematorium I go
Because being buried once is quite enough
I really am not all that tough
Jun 5, 2016
Jun 5, 2016 at 11:08 AM UTC
Buried alive in a worm box
As he smuggle stood on top
***** I'm burying you alive"
"No one will hear your cries"
The worms wiggled around behind my back
I struggled there in the pitch black
The smell of freash earth was so overpowering
And on top he just stood up there towering
I clawed at the lid
Of that old frig
But he was to heavy it did not give
My oxygen was soon depleted
I knew then I was defeated
Buried alive in a worm box
Who would of ever thought
As you can see I survived that day
But when at last on a cold slab I lay
And when they put that tag on my toe
It's off to the crematorium I go
Because being buried once is quite enough
I really am not all that tough
Feb 26, 2016
Feb 26, 2016 at 1:18 PM UTC
It's 3am and I am wide awake
I have vicious nightmares at times,
Not horror movie types,
Just ones that I fear the most.
Being buried alive is bad--when it is the one you love it is even worse.
I hear him scooping the dirt in the shovel, and pouring it on me.
"You really fell for it. All I had to do was pretend that I liked you, and you fell right in."
He chuckles, as another pile of dirt is added.
Im begging him
"Please, what do you want? I'll do whatever you want, just let me out! "
He chuckles again, "You say that....they always say that... But you know what? You lie, all you women just lie your way into jobs, relationships, and hell, even in marriage! You think I'm going to suddenly believe you out of all of them?! "
The casket is slightly sinking from all the dirt that is piled on now.
I'm sobbing uncontrollably as I realize my fate.
"I'm different, you said it yourself. When I met you, you said--"
"Well I lied. I'm getting pretty good at it. Practice makes perfect."
I continue to cry, and my one last attempt at freedom--
"I love you. "
He stops shoveling, and with a raggedy breath,
"...What? "
I open my heart for my last plea,
"I give my heart fully to anyone that accepts my quirks and even the weird parts about me. In the brief time we knew each other, you laughed at my corny jokes, smiled at me, and even wanted to know about me. So even as I am about to die,
Why would I lie with my last words? I might as well say what I truly feel because that is what I do. I fall headfirst in love with someone I barely know, and that is why I always get heart broken no matter what. So what I just said I meant it. "
He paused, then he tosses the shovel down beside the hole, and he jumps down into my grave,
"Well, I--
My eyes snap open.
It's 3am and I'm wide awake.
Oct 28, 2014
Oct 28, 2014 at 5:11 AM UTC