There are no words that I can describe my pain,
Besides fear, sheer helplessness
And bottled up pain and guilt
That was eating away at my soul 
Until I couldn't bear it anymore.
Control slips through my fingers
Like grains of sand.
I tried to fight, 
I really tried
Lying to myself that it was fine,
I couldn't let myself believe I was worth anything
So I ran to the bathroom scratching my throat
Regurgitating the pride I had once swallowed.
And a lump of coal I tried to hide

Purge

*I cannot bare see, someone so close to me whom I care so much for, throw away their life so quickly.*