#boyssuck
I asked you to come over last night.
I felt like I was laying on rock bottom
With no way to get up
As more rocks were gradually being stacked on top of me.
The weight became too much to bear
My body started shaking uncontrollably
I did not want to be alone.
“Just take deep breaths, I’ll hurry.”
You came over and you climbed into my bed
You held me until my racing heart had calmed
And I finally felt like I could breathe again.
Then something in you switched-
You started gripping me tighter
Moving your hands to lower places
“Please babe, I really don’t want that tonight.
I don’t feel like myself. I just want you to hold me.”
You were persistent, whispering
“Your body tells me otherwise.”
My heart began to speed up again
As I tried one more time to say,
“Please I can’t handle that tonight.
I thought it was clear, I just wanted you to hold me,
And make me feel okay again.”
This time you tried to take my pants off.
“Do you want this-
Or do you want me to go home?”
Giving me an ultimatum.
“I just want to feel okay.
I don’t want that tonight.”
And with that you got out of bed and
Grabbed your keys and belongings as you headed for the door.
I made sure you were watching-
As I undressed myself
Throwing my clothes into a neat pile on the ground
Before wrapping myself up in my fuzzy blanket
To comfort and calm myself.
I saw your true character last night.
And I learned
That you cannot find serenity
In the same place you found discomfort.
Nov 2, 2018
Nov 2, 2018 at 12:12 AM UTC
I remember everything
Even the things I don't want to remember
They come rushing back
and punch me in the face
It paralizes me mometarily
and makes me think
No wonder
it makes me wonder why
and how
and even what-if
I kept your memories in a box
in my closet
You threw mine away
with no care in the world
I wanted them back
and now they are thrown away like trash
Maybe you don't think of me
because you threw away my memories
So maybe when I rid of yours
those insulting memories will go away as well
Nov 11, 2017
Nov 11, 2017 at 12:01 PM UTC
You called me a *****
How ironic.
You called me a *****
When the farthest I've gone was with you.
You called me a *****
When you were the one in a relationship?
Maybe I am a *****
But what would that make you?
Dec 11, 2015
Dec 11, 2015 at 3:10 PM UTC
Who was I to think we had something worth keeping?
Certainly not you.
But why.
We played the game.
I thought I understood the rules.
I thought you were trying to break through.
My walls oh so high
They hid the sun from you
And you saw my darkness.
In the dark you found truth.
Unable to understand it, you ran from it's grip.
Too tight around you,
the darkness is unwelcoming.
If only you knew that if you held on a little longer,
the sun was to rise and from truth love were to arise.
But you disengaged.
Saw the truth and convoluted them into lies.
Now nothing.
But a heartbroken metaphor
for I think I miss you more.
You've moved on,
naturally and genuinely.
I sat here,
stupidly.
Jun 23, 2015
Jun 23, 2015 at 6:08 PM UTC
you came by last night.
you came to get your things.
to tell me it was over.
I haven't eaten in two days.
I cant stop shaking, crying.
this mental deterioration,
is just too much to handle.
I sat with you for two hours.
trying, begging, pleading
for you to stay with me.
but things aren't that simple,
are they?
I can't sleep. I cant function.
my first love, the one that promised forever.
has left me for a ***** a ****
she would never do the things,
that I did, she would never endure
the pain that I did. all for you.
you caused me depression,
you say you still care,
but why aren't you acting like it?
everything could be better,
if you just wanted to talk to me.
Apr 16, 2015
Apr 16, 2015 at 11:22 AM UTC