#body-image - Hello Poetry

If only your skin was a lighter shade Here, this bleach might come to your aid If only your lips weren't so full Maybe the boys would like you at school If only your hair wasn't so ***** Here's some caustic chemicals to make it more slinky If only your ******* weren't so large Here's the number to a surgeon, call and see what they charge If only your waist was smaller (just a few inches) Here's a corset, see how tiny it cinches? If only your *** wasn't so round How 'bout you run some laps to lose a few pounds? If only you'd get your nose out of books I bet you'd garner more stares for your looks If only you'd change your curious personality I hear the masses prefer banality If only you'd see me for me Do you know how content I'd be? If you can't do that Then leave me be.

0

Jan 8, 2017

Jan 8, 2017 at 2:09 PM UTC

dawntreader

If Only...

If only your skin was a lighter shade Here, this bleach might come to your aid If only your lips weren't so full Maybe the boys would like you at school If only your hair wasn't so ***** Here's some caustic chemicals to make it more slinky If only your ******* weren't so large Here's the number to a surgeon, call and see what they charge If only your waist was smaller (just a few inches) Here's a corset, see how tiny it cinches? If only your *** wasn't so round How 'bout you run some laps to lose a few pounds? If only you'd get your nose out of books I bet you'd garner more stares for your looks If only you'd change your curious personality I hear the masses prefer banality If only you'd see me for me Do you know how content I'd be? If you can't do that Then leave me be.

20

My mirror is covered in cracks and flaws, and some parts that make you look fatter, like a funhouse mirror, and it clings to dust and dirt and fingerprint smudges of oil. But I don't replace it. Because sometimes it's easier to spot the flaws in the mirror than to fixate on my flaw riddled body, Flaws that aren't just skin deep, The night is beautiful but deadly. When you can't see, you have to find new flaws to detest, It's addictive to beat yourself, I'm in an abusive relationship where I don't mean to hurt me and I can't leave myself- And there's some macabre satisfaction in the dependable breaking, Like I know every night I will go to sleep hating the fact that I am still breathing, There are memories haunting me from as young as ten, Things that shouldn't still be repeating, I can't work out how it just keeps accumulating, Words spoken And thoughts And I don't know if anyone else feels sentences as deeply as I do, And I'm running out of personality to stick pins into, Trying to fix myself with voodoo They say negative reinforcement is the quickest way to correct behaviour but I make the same mistakes it's not okay that I constantly feel like I'm failing, But life is more than a high-stakes game And everyone's saying that all teenagers feel this way But it's not reassuring to know that my generation is one of lost souls and hate. And we're all really angry, Whether it's because we'll be working till we're 90 or conflict left undated Racism still exists and the Chancellor of Germany is getting called a **** While anyone Asian is labelled Indian or **** And eating disorders run rampant through the territory where anorexic girls get priority while the boy who binge eats is just called fatty. And this is where I insert a statistic to convince you that we're unhappy but I refuse to be quantified just so I can mean something. And it doesn't let up, Compliments are uncomfortable and seeing good in yourself is arrogance, criticisms self pity And you never know if they want to help you or just ensure that you understand the importance of conformity It doesn't take much to convince someone you're okay. There's not much you need to say And if you can laugh then you're fine and we know no one checks the closets for skeletons because they're filled with people too afraid to come out of them People accept 'fine' because they just need to know that they asked the question, And besides, deeper questions get stuck beneath my skin. And even when someone else compliments me I don't believe them, Pushing away others cause I need distance, Sometimes I feel sick from the level of enforced interaction but people only see the side they want to see. When I told my friends about the time I struggled with suicidal thoughts they expressed their sympathies and it hasn't come up since. Romanticising illnesses leaves me unsure if I am suffering or if I just want to be, And part of me has to agree that diagnosis and its certainty would be better than the admission that life is just like this You can't get better if it's something you can't fix I don't think I'm broken but maybe I was made to the wrong specifications cause it feels like I am missing something but at the same time there is too much of me and not just physically I am choking on the sheer volume of my past, present and impeding future Trying to get it together Told that it's okay if I don't know where I want to go But in year 9 we picked our gcses which determined our a levels which determined our university courses which determine our career, if we even get there. I keep finding new problems I am still haunted by the old ones. But I'll be okay, Cause today Someone told me to love myself.

0

Sep 13, 2015

Sep 13, 2015 at 5:17 PM UTC

suchscribbles

Love Yourself

My mirror is covered in cracks and flaws, and some parts that make you look fatter, like a funhouse mirror, and it clings to dust and dirt and fingerprint smudges of oil. But I don't replace it. Because sometimes it's easier to spot the flaws in the mirror than to fixate on my flaw riddled body, Flaws that aren't just skin deep, The night is beautiful but deadly. When you can't see, you have to find new flaws to detest, It's addictive to beat yourself, I'm in an abusive relationship where I don't mean to hurt me and I can't leave myself- And there's some macabre satisfaction in the dependable breaking, Like I know every night I will go to sleep hating the fact that I am still breathing, There are memories haunting me from as young as ten, Things that shouldn't still be repeating, I can't work out how it just keeps accumulating, Words spoken And thoughts And I don't know if anyone else feels sentences as deeply as I do, And I'm running out of personality to stick pins into, Trying to fix myself with voodoo They say negative reinforcement is the quickest way to correct behaviour but I make the same mistakes it's not okay that I constantly feel like I'm failing, But life is more than a high-stakes game And everyone's saying that all teenagers feel this way But it's not reassuring to know that my generation is one of lost souls and hate. And we're all really angry, Whether it's because we'll be working till we're 90 or conflict left undated Racism still exists and the Chancellor of Germany is getting called a **** While anyone Asian is labelled Indian or **** And eating disorders run rampant through the territory where anorexic girls get priority while the boy who binge eats is just called fatty. And this is where I insert a statistic to convince you that we're unhappy but I refuse to be quantified just so I can mean something. And it doesn't let up, Compliments are uncomfortable and seeing good in yourself is arrogance, criticisms self pity And you never know if they want to help you or just ensure that you understand the importance of conformity It doesn't take much to convince someone you're okay. There's not much you need to say And if you can laugh then you're fine and we know no one checks the closets for skeletons because they're filled with people too afraid to come out of them People accept 'fine' because they just need to know that they asked the question, And besides, deeper questions get stuck beneath my skin. And even when someone else compliments me I don't believe them, Pushing away others cause I need distance, Sometimes I feel sick from the level of enforced interaction but people only see the side they want to see. When I told my friends about the time I struggled with suicidal thoughts they expressed their sympathies and it hasn't come up since. Romanticising illnesses leaves me unsure if I am suffering or if I just want to be, And part of me has to agree that diagnosis and its certainty would be better than the admission that life is just like this You can't get better if it's something you can't fix I don't think I'm broken but maybe I was made to the wrong specifications cause it feels like I am missing something but at the same time there is too much of me and not just physically I am choking on the sheer volume of my past, present and impeding future Trying to get it together Told that it's okay if I don't know where I want to go But in year 9 we picked our gcses which determined our a levels which determined our university courses which determine our career, if we even get there. I keep finding new problems I am still haunted by the old ones. But I'll be okay, Cause today Someone told me to love myself.

54

in a heat like this you forget you have a stomach, patina’d as it is with shame. the junction of thigh and hip is a bear-trap. what do you and bears have in common? a bracelet of red dents at the wrist and no escape. anyways, keep trying. the four-by-four cube of yourself gives slowly, like a mattress or lung, something to be punctured. there, the air is water-soft. the walls are cream, not pink, but still you wait for threshold to meet threshold, for the mandala-fold of ribs to fall away. come winter this womb of cream will expel you a reborn thing, with fur.

0

Jul 9, 2015

Jul 9, 2015 at 12:42 PM UTC

oops

7/7/2015

in a heat like this you forget you have a stomach, patina’d as it is with shame. the junction of thigh and hip is a bear-trap. what do you and bears have in common? a bracelet of red dents at the wrist and no escape. anyways, keep trying. the four-by-four cube of yourself gives slowly, like a mattress or lung, something to be punctured. there, the air is water-soft. the walls are cream, not pink, but still you wait for threshold to meet threshold, for the mandala-fold of ribs to fall away. come winter this womb of cream will expel you a reborn thing, with fur.

1

I'm done trying to make myself beautiful I'm bored with mascara, weighing down my eyelashes gunking up my sight like a city sewer I'm finished with lip gloss a pop of shiny color on my wet mouth pulling you in for a sticky kiss I want to be ugly to let my pores gape wide and let in the air my skin breathing for the first time in years I want to claw off my clothing my fabric fittings sewn to slim me down to tailor me into something worth loving I want to be repulsively human maybe all of this is because you said how you always love the most disgusting things

0

Jan 22, 2015

Jan 22, 2015 at 9:30 PM UTC

nothing-much

Disgusting

I'm done trying to make myself beautiful I'm bored with mascara, weighing down my eyelashes gunking up my sight like a city sewer I'm finished with lip gloss a pop of shiny color on my wet mouth pulling you in for a sticky kiss I want to be ugly to let my pores gape wide and let in the air my skin breathing for the first time in years I want to claw off my clothing my fabric fittings sewn to slim me down to tailor me into something worth loving I want to be repulsively human maybe all of this is because you said how you always love the most disgusting things

15

i think i’m attractive some girls say I am not a ton enough to where i’m ok sometimes ill look in the mirror and not want to look away sometimes sometimes ill wonder why im in a 14 year olds body when im 19 i think i’m weak i’m too skinny but im selfish really selfish some people cry themselves to sleep because they dont have my body i cry myself to sleep sometimes wahhh wahhh wahhh shut the **** up ***** youre attractive

0

May 11, 2014

May 11, 2014 at 4:38 PM UTC

pr4do

I Think I'm Attractive

i think i’m attractive some girls say I am not a ton enough to where i’m ok sometimes ill look in the mirror and not want to look away sometimes sometimes ill wonder why im in a 14 year olds body when im 19 i think i’m weak i’m too skinny but im selfish really selfish some people cry themselves to sleep because they dont have my body i cry myself to sleep sometimes wahhh wahhh wahhh shut the **** up ***** youre attractive

16