#blithe
I wish I could feel blithely
so carefree and free-spirited
without any worries
but alas
I'm an exhausted college student
with the weight of the world
on my shoulders
assignments piling up
stress loads increasing
feeling like a failure
but I want to go back to my youth
when school was an afterthought
with minimal effort
but that's unrealistic
I need to work for my success
so, one day
I can be blithe and worriless
I want to make that dream
into a reality
Nov 23, 2025
Nov 23, 2025 at 8:04 PM UTC
I’m sorry for every selfish thought I’ve had
But spending my time living in other people’s lies,
I thought I could at least dream
Of a place where the happiness was mine
But happiness isn’t just a fish that you can catch
It’s not for everyone to handle
Jul 23, 2018
Jul 23, 2018 at 6:06 PM UTC
If this was the last day alive I'd press my lips to your temple, Id whisper my name hoping to make it eternal in the graveyard of the cosmos.
Mar 18, 2018
Mar 18, 2018 at 2:03 AM UTC
caramel apple eyes
with no smile,
just a smirk
maybe you'll spare me
from my two year and counting sentence
but it seems unlikely
that i'll be able to get over you,
because if I haven't already
I never will.
Tell me why I can only formulate magnificent proses when they
come from a spot of mourning that you left in the pits of my rotting stomach
it's an ethereal feel that links me back to the sea
your scent draws me in close,
how I desperately want to jump off a cliff to save myself from your grasp.
I spend countless nights huddled in a corner of my room
and I've come to the conclusion that love is only good
when you're in it.
I return to the ocean cliff every day,
looking out to try to pinpoint the bottom of the raging blue rapids beneath where I stand 133 feet up.
Maybe if I can dance closer to the edge,
you'll take notice and save me before I fall
but who am I kidding?
I was the one to take things too far,
I don't want to finish this poem.
May 14, 2017
May 14, 2017 at 11:03 PM UTC
one day I will listen to your words harass my ears in song,
and those words will no longer be about me.
instead it will be white noise,
the static enemy that murmurs paranoia through the stale air
of a room left unkempt
a knife stabbed in the lower abdomen
pull it out and let me bleed out
and maybe you'll be able to apologize after i'm gone
or maybe not
in the early hours of dawn
it is a challenge to vigorously write your name down on the paper
that lays crumpled by my bedside because I can't get the "A" in your name right
it reminds me of the day I didn't want to get out of the car but did
you spot me, i hear a gasp from my friend
but i keep on walking
because i know if i look back
I'm a goner.
Apr 15, 2017
Apr 15, 2017 at 8:01 PM UTC
You've bruised parts of myself that even I can't reach
I know the pain is there but it's hard to see
beneath the flesh, it's become a part of me
I thought I was supposed to tolerate the hurt
smiled whenever you struck a nerve
but now I'm losing sight of who I used to be
I let destructive words find their way in
they broke more than just bones
they scarred more than my skin
I no longer trust the things I touch
with a taste of what humans can do
I can't believe love is worth that much
My body looks foreign yet the flaws so familiar
Coming to terms with my reflection
has started to feel like confession and I hate looking in the mirror
You studied my skin and broke down my value
limb for limb not enough
and you made sure I knew
Because of you connection tastes like lust
speaking my mind is scrutiny
trusting is new to me
and not something I'm willing to try
You exposed who I want to be in the worst way
I have no more time for apologies
I'm rebuilding all the things you taught me to hate
May 13, 2016
May 13, 2016 at 8:00 PM UTC
empty inside
absent
its a hollow type of way
where everything is collapsing
but it can't be fixed
drowning with all eyes on you
Nov 19, 2015
Nov 19, 2015 at 12:12 AM UTC
*All my life I've been known as "Crazed",
My life is falling a part and I feel dazed.
I cover up my face with a smile as a mask,
To cover up my pain so I won't be asked.
I've been told to try and find some help,
But with none all I can do is cry and yelp.
Day by day I feel like I am fading,
Whether or not I should keep fighting-
I am still debating.*
❥
Oct 6, 2015
Oct 6, 2015 at 6:47 AM UTC
See your gone more often than not.
I realized yesterday I don't know what a father is, or what a man is.
You are gone most of the time, even when your not.
my god I saw your wallet more than you so I guess I'll call that love;
see I've thrown every penny I've had in wishing wells of my lovers to be happy
but the only thing I've learned from you is that money is better spent on luxuries.
Sep 9, 2015
Sep 9, 2015 at 11:23 PM UTC
Tonight I felt what it was like to have no one
To cry and write poetry under the stars
The tears soaking my skin
But tomorrow I will feel what it's like to smile again
To forget what happened
To punish myself for being sad
For crying
When no one is around
The world stops
Mar 15, 2015
Mar 15, 2015 at 2:10 AM UTC
The spring in your steps
And the spring in nature
Playing a match
That let me have a catch
Of a bit of happiness
In all my loneliness
In all my loneliness
This weather makes me
Light as a feather
Dreaming of us together
Dreaming of us together
In a fairyland
We claim as ours
Where a vast meadow
Filled with flowers
Dancing as the wind blows
Dancing as the wind blows
Taking away my woes
Sun rays kissing our skin
Let the light shine upon us
Feb 9, 2015
Feb 9, 2015 at 1:53 AM UTC
I often think about how and why our lives intersected
and how strange it was that we used to be nothing more
than two bright-eyed five-year-old kids
in the same kindergarten class over a decade ago
and how now we were lying down side-by-side listening to Hozier
through his beat-up headphones and stargazing in the back of someone’s pickup truck
and it’s strange how
neither of us had the courage to point out
the fact that there were no visible stars in the cloudy sky that night
because
that
didn’t
matter
all that mattered was the fact that for an eternity and a half,
I had felt more like a glass left half-empty and yet now I wished
that this moment would never end,
that we could just lie here in the freezing cold that burned my bones to the core
just because my head rested fine on his chest and that was enough
and I wonder why it’s so hard for me to open up to him
even though he unfolds himself for me,
opens up doors to his beautiful soul just so I am able to peek through
the cabinets where he stores all of his reasons to live, and
where he hides the parts of him that he would get rid of, if he had a choice
I want to tell him about the poetry I have found in the way he walks,
he talks,
he breathes, and
how staring into those ocean eyes makes me feel
like I’ve suddenly hit the bottom, permanently gasping for air,
but
I love it,
I love it,
I love it,
and as we stare up at the sky
in the back of an old pickup truck
by an old crumbling church,
my God, his voice matches the silent hum of the street lights,
burning in sync with our imaginary stars
and at this moment, I am no longer an almost-empty glass,
I am alive
Feb 4, 2015
Feb 4, 2015 at 6:20 PM UTC
Everyday is pain
The struggle
Of living
Tear filled eyes
Dry throat
No point in crying-
Who's listening anyway
Jan 20, 2015
Jan 20, 2015 at 5:35 PM UTC
Shattered
Broken
Bent
Heavy eyes
Heavy heart
Nothing beneath it all
Nothing on the outside
Empty
Jan 20, 2015
Jan 20, 2015 at 4:33 PM UTC
There's a funny thing about sadness
The way it surrounds you so you feel whole
Nothing else is let in
Except the sorrow and the pain
You can see the happiness
But never feel it
Want it
But not have it
There's a funny thing about sadness
How you become so familiar with it you can't feel anything else.
Jan 18, 2015
Jan 18, 2015 at 4:05 PM UTC
I almost never look at them anymore
The scars left behind
White lines
And Dashes
Across my left wrist
One from when my cat scratched me
One from the first time I coped with a blade
One from before I knew how to hide them
I almost never look
But they’re still there, and they look at me
And sometimes, 8 years later
I get so unstable
I want to pick up the scissors
I want to see the pain taking form
So that I don’t have to hold it in
Anymore, but
I don’t because I feel like
It would create a burden on you that
I’m not willing to place and
Because I know I’m stronger than the scissor blades
And because
I like to wear sleeveless shirts even in the winter
Jan 13, 2015
Jan 13, 2015 at 11:05 PM UTC
They scream louder this time
And there’s nothing you can do
You know you’re everything they ever wanted
And it’s just so clear to you
Pulling music from your iPod drowns their voices out
But you know it won’t stop them from fighting
Just from you hearing their sickening blowout
You think of the days they were so happy
And wonder if it was your fault
Maybe if you had just been beautiful
You’re mom might have tried to halt
Maybe if you got perfect grades
Your dad would have cared for you
Instead of only hurting you
You have tried so long for them to see
All you have ever wanted them to be
What every other family always had
But your cries and pleas have only left you hopeless broken and sad
So once again you open that same drawer you sadly know too well
And grab that magical blade that’ll solve everything for now
You lift up your shirt and put your only true friend against your fair skin
Just one cut
You close your eyes shut
One tear slips down your vulnerable face
Just one tear you let escape
And you see those flashbacks once again
Of the times everyone made sure you knew,
No one will ever want you
So you let that blade break through your skin
And hope to god he’ll forgive your sin
And everything will be okay
At least for one more day.
Dec 17, 2014
Dec 17, 2014 at 3:47 PM UTC
Because your mind is bigger than the milky way. As it stretches and bends between universes all i can think about is how your eyes burn holes into my absence. You sheets cannot even compare to how ***** your intentions are with each and every outstanding other walking the same plain as you. If as if your field branches while setting fire to innocent people with sins as cold as black. Yet at one point i thought i connected your stars. I thought the planets were completely aligned for only me. I thought all the galaxies just matched up perfectly together in such harmony that the gods would be jealous of it's perfection. But i quickly realized you my existence is nothing compared to this entire space
Dec 8, 2014
Dec 8, 2014 at 4:51 PM UTC
I want to waste Thursday nights with you
and nine-thirties
and Saturday mornings.
I want to scavenge through tiny bookstores with you
and read melancholy poems with you
and watch the rain fall like I did for you.
I want to watch scary films with you
and cover your eyes with my hands
and hide from the ghosts under blankets.
I want to spend winter days with you
and frolic in autumn leaves
and indulge in the springtime air.
I wanted to be with you forever
and call myself yours
and call you mine.
But we’re only granted the things we need, not want.
and I want you to love me
and I want you to miss me
But I need you to need me the way I need you.
Nov 29, 2014
Nov 29, 2014 at 1:03 PM UTC
I thought i was getting better,
But im so far from it.
Constantly having these thoughts running through my head.
I keep having this dream
of what i did when i used to be like this.
Im in the bathroom, where i go to hide from this family
This family that hates me, makes me feel pain
Im sitting on the toilet, ive got my special blue kit
Youd never guess thats where i keep all my secrets.
I pick the newest blade, the one that'll do the most damage
I put it to my skin and quickly draw down on it
Red liquid comes out and makes me feel alive
So i do another one, another one, until i feel fine.
I wipe up the mess, throw the paper in the toilet, flush it all away so no one will ever find it.
Its not like they've noticed, let alone cared
Pretty much invisible, until someone gets mad
Then they come to me and let it all out
It doesnt phase me, or at least thats how i act
But they dont know what goes on behind the bathroom door,
Where i spill out my emotions and clean them off the floor.
So ill stick with being silent, invisible, unnoticed
Itll only make it easer when im no longer at their service
Oct 23, 2014
Oct 23, 2014 at 4:28 PM UTC
**Can't you tell you'rr killing me?
Can't you see i'm broken?
Can't you feel i love you?
Can't i just stay whole?**
(S.l.g)
Sep 6, 2014
Sep 6, 2014 at 11:20 AM UTC
if i wasn't gay
would you still tell me i'm brave
if i didn't self harm
would you still tell me i'm strong
if i wasn't depressed
would you still say you love me
if i wasn't starving myself
would you still tell me i'm beautiful
if i didn't try to **** myself
would you still tell me life is worth living
if i didn't cry
would you still tell me i have every reason to smile
if i wasn't scared
would you still hold my hand
if i didn't have insomnia
would you still stay up with me
if i didn't panic
would you still tell me that everything's alright
if i didn't love you
would you still be kind
if i didn't try
would you stop trying too?
if i wasn't broken
would you still try to fix me?
i don't want to be
uninteresting.
Aug 19, 2014
Aug 19, 2014 at 8:58 PM UTC
I beg you,
Do not make this out to be a love note;
Do not romanticise my words
until a list of all that is wrong with you
becomes a letter in a bottle, washed up on an island’s shore.
Do not teach the child I will never have
that the locked wooden box of dated but unsent letters hidden beneath her bed
will one day become a novel.
They are all addressed to you--
just as every thought I think echoes with your name
every song is about you
every tear burns my skin with the acidity of your touch
the smoke from
every cigarette tastes of you.
It is you.
It is you
who is the black mist enveloping my lungs from the inside out,
It is you
swirling in my hollow veins
as they wrap themselves like chains
around my organs, screaming for night,
and you capture my beating heart.
And it is you
who tells us to teach our children
to make sure to say their pleases and their thank-yous,
And we taught them not to talk to strangers,
but we never taught them to say
‘no’. --
Now I don’t speak to the kids hanging out on the corner
And I don’t speak to the man when he pulls up his van,
And now I don’t speak
when I'm lying in bed
you never taught me to say no
I don’t speak when your hand runs down my body
like I am something you own
like my bones are the ivory keys of a grand piano
and you must hit every note on your glissando
descending
to
hell.
I don’t speak as you wrap yourself around me
metal chains on a summer’s day
I close my eyes
and listen to my organs screaming for night
like a child who just wants her bedtime story,
her mummy to come home,
like a child who is not afraid
of monsters in her head,
or of monsters under the bed,
or of you,
Lying
beside her.
And we scream for night
And we close our eyes
And we float up into a moonless sky.
The definition of a black hole is
‘a region of space having a gravitational field so intense that no matter or radiation can
escape’.
If it is the matter that creates the pull that traps the matter,
then you are not so much in me
and I am not so much in you
as we are trapped inside each other.
The world made up of people and
people made up of world,
like Romeo and Juliet,
we do not exist without the other,
you and I.
For the words
immorality and immortality
may be frighteningly similar, but there is a difference between
apathy and anaesthesia;
I do not close my eyes to shut you out,
I close my eyes because it is only darkness that can make the space between my bedroom walls appear infinite;
It is only music that lets me hear your screams as you suffocate mine;
only smoke that lets me taste your toxicity as my ashes spread like a virus through your veins.
I want to die.
And I'm taking you down with me,
So don’t you dare tell me to teach the child I will never have
that her scars seek attention,
or that she needs them as proof of what you have done to her mind;
Don’t you dare teach us that the rope from which we hang is a diamond necklace;
that corpses are more beautiful when drained of blood,
that we are more beautiful when broken.
Dear world,
I beg you,
Do not make this out to be a love note;
Do not romanticise my words
until a list of all that is wrong with you
becomes a letter in a bottle, washed up on an island’s shore.
Do not teach me that my suicide note is poetry
when our existence is intertwined
and my death is yours,
and you are too cowardly to do it for the both of us,
but, darling,
so am I.
So please,
I beg you,
You can make this out to be a love note,
a letter in a bottle,
just close your eyes;
float up into a moonless sky;
dissolve into infinity.
Die with me--.
j.s.
Jul 15, 2014
Jul 15, 2014 at 1:31 PM UTC
The walls of my heart,
they clench me in.
The voices in my head,
they tell me the worst things I've always read.
The words I hear,
they're the things that I always fear.
The dinner I ate,
I let them find their way back up.
The ink in my wrists,
I watch them flow from thin lines.
The fear I feel,
they make the monsters real.
The anxiety I feel,
it overwhelms me.
The things I feel,
they make me hate me.
they make me loathe me.
they **** me.
Jul 7, 2014
Jul 7, 2014 at 12:27 PM UTC