#blackcloud - Hello Poetry

I walk into rooms with a shadow behind. Not cast by the light, but born in my mind. A smile on my face, rehearsed, and precise.. yet, somehow, I fractured the warmth into ice. They laughed, then it slows, then silence descends like I’ve bent the air out of shape once again. It’s not what I say or maybe it is – just something about me that sinks all the bliss. The joy was so loud before I appeared.now the moment is quieter, haunted, and weird. They shift in their seats. They look to the door. I wonder what damage I’ve done this time more. Why do I do this? God, I don’t know. I reach out for closeness, then watch it let go. It’s a pattern, a rhythm, a cruel little loop. I bring in my storm, then retreat from the group. I loathe this part of me, bitter and tight… The way I extinguish the candles of night. I don’t want to be this; this echo, this end. but shame is a hunter that wears my own skin. And the more that I fight it, the louder it gets in. And I note the growth of self-loathing for the hurt I impose. But maybe, I hope, there’s more to this pain… than being just the cloud, the darkness, the rain. Maybe the party was never quite whole, and I’m just a mirror too cracked to console. Still I stay, I wait, try not to fall. Though some days, I vanished inside it all. And even if healing is slow and unsure, I’ll keep showing up… Just a little bit more mature.

0

Mar 27

Mar 27, 2026 at 3:10 PM UTC

cyn-liss

the weight I bring.

I walk into rooms with a shadow behind. Not cast by the light, but born in my mind. A smile on my face, rehearsed, and precise.. yet, somehow, I fractured the warmth into ice. They laughed, then it slows, then silence descends like I’ve bent the air out of shape once again. It’s not what I say or maybe it is – just something about me that sinks all the bliss. The joy was so loud before I appeared.now the moment is quieter, haunted, and weird. They shift in their seats. They look to the door. I wonder what damage I’ve done this time more. Why do I do this? God, I don’t know. I reach out for closeness, then watch it let go. It’s a pattern, a rhythm, a cruel little loop. I bring in my storm, then retreat from the group. I loathe this part of me, bitter and tight… The way I extinguish the candles of night. I don’t want to be this; this echo, this end. but shame is a hunter that wears my own skin. And the more that I fight it, the louder it gets in. And I note the growth of self-loathing for the hurt I impose. But maybe, I hope, there’s more to this pain… than being just the cloud, the darkness, the rain. Maybe the party was never quite whole, and I’m just a mirror too cracked to console. Still I stay, I wait, try not to fall. Though some days, I vanished inside it all. And even if healing is slow and unsure, I’ll keep showing up… Just a little bit more mature.

8

i battle the demons inside my head i fear what they've done i fear what they've said in this war, there is no winner no hope for me a lonely sinner

0

Jul 19, 2018

Jul 19, 2018 at 2:33 PM UTC

midaburtons

war

i battle the demons inside my head i fear what they've done i fear what they've said in this war, there is no winner no hope for me a lonely sinner

6

A big black cloud I see it on the horizon A storm of uncertainty and doubt Coming closer and I wait The fog rolls in and blinds me Pain is so opaque I cannot see Fooled by the eye It is not over The worst is yet to come When pain turns to sadness It lingers and scars Finally find my strength And with it stand tall I weathered the storm Now the air is so pure Breath in and out Face a new day Pick up what's left And find happiness again

0

Feb 10, 2017

Feb 10, 2017 at 5:23 AM UTC

lucy-ennis

Weather the storm

A big black cloud I see it on the horizon A storm of uncertainty and doubt Coming closer and I wait The fog rolls in and blinds me Pain is so opaque I cannot see Fooled by the eye It is not over The worst is yet to come When pain turns to sadness It lingers and scars Finally find my strength And with it stand tall I weathered the storm Now the air is so pure Breath in and out Face a new day Pick up what's left And find happiness again

20