#bff
you are sitting at a table
with a bowl of gold in front of you,
and you are so busy looking for
the fruit you haven’t grown yet
that you forget you are
the one who planted the tree.
you tell me you’re behind,
that you’re a ghost of who you
were supposed to be by now.
you move the goalpost
until it’s just a blur on the horizon,
convinced that because
everything isn't perfect,
nothing counts.
but two years ago,
you were a girl who didn't want
to see the sunrise.
two years ago, the weight of the sky
felt like it would crush the citrus
right out of your spirit.
you didn’t want to be alive,
and now—
right now—
you are.
and that has to be the biggest thing
anyone has ever done.
you’re standing in the middle
of a life you once begged for.
the girl you were two years ago
would look at you now,
peeling an orange on a random Tuesday,
and her jaw would be on the floor.
not because you’ve fixed everything,
but because you’re here to see it.
she wouldn't care about
the "more" you’re chasing;
she would be in awe
that your hands are still warm,
that the scissors are just a tool
for the fruit and nothing else.
the things that used to be unbearable
are now just things.
the fog has cleared enough
to let the morning in.
you don't give yourself credit
for the miracle of waking up
when your brain spent all night
telling you to stay under.
so maybe you aren't
everything you want to be today,
but you are everything
you prayed to be two years ago.
you are a living, breathing
collection of gold apologies
to the version of you
who thought she wouldn't make it.
the juice is running down your wrist.
you're staying.
and i am so, so proud of you
for the mess you’re still here to make.
Mar 31
Mar 31, 2026 at 9:18 PM UTC
i read once that the earth grew oranges
in pairs, so no one would ever have to
sit at a table and eat in the dark.
a small, bright weight in the palm
that says the cold hasn't won yet-
not if there’s still something
this golden to break open.
i heard once that the stars are just oranges
the sky hasn't learned how to peel yet.
a million gold promises
hanging just out of reach,
waiting for someone brave enough
to climb a ladder made of
all the times we almost gave up.
and i didn't find a savior in you;
i just found a girl who
leaves a trail of citrus oil
on every book she touches.
i saw a girl in an oversized shirt
with a smudge on her cheek,
muttering about how she’s a disaster
while she tears into a clementine
like it’s the only thing she’s ever
gotten right.
there is a frantic, quiet beauty in
the way you trip over your own grace.
it’s in the way you think you’re a burden
but you’re actually just the person
who makes the kitchen smell like a grove,
filling the silence with a laugh
that you try to hide behind your hand
because you think it’s too loud for the morning.
i don't want to know a sidewalk
that doesn't have your shadow on it.
i don't want to learn the rhythm
of a Tuesday
where the seat to my right
doesn't sound like laughter and
brilliant thoughts.
i don't want a tournament where
i'm not cheering for your awards.
we aren't a metaphor for being "fixed."
we’re just two people in the middle
of a Tuesday that feels too heavy,
deciding that the gold running down your wrist
is the only thing allowed to leave a mark today.
so stay for the noise.
stay for the sour parts.
stay because i haven't finished
showing you all the songs
you’re going to ruin.
stay because the juice
is the only thing running down our wrists,
and i don't have enough napkins
to clean up a world
that doesn't have you in it.
Mar 28
Mar 28, 2026 at 9:00 PM UTC
What do you tell someone who told you They want to die. How do you make them feel better, when all they have given you is love and hope. But you have nothing in return
When you want them to stay but they trusted you enough to tell you how they feel alone, but you cant help but think “were they not happy in those memories?” “have they always felt alone?” “can i stop it?”
“For how long”
“Will they actually do it?”
Do you sleep after someone tells you that?
What if their all you have
What if their the reason you live?
Then what?
What do you do, when they say they love you, but mention the last time they'll ever lay eyes on you
What do you do
When you love someone so much you can’t even fathom not having them in your life
Just to find out they want out.
into a place where you aren’t there.
A place where you no longer know them
What do you when you love someone.
And all you can do is cry for them because you know you can’t help how they feel
When you want to be there for them no matter what
But this time you can’t/
Because they don’t even want to be a part of life
How do you tell them life is worth living but really, if it was worth it why would they feel that way to begin with.
How do you tell someone you want in your life so bad, to stay in a place that hurts.
Knowing that if they ever left your side permanently you would cry and cry and cry until oxygen was no more
When you, yourself were willing to die for them.
What do you do when you love someone that much
When they laugh you laugh with them because it fills you
When you see them, life gets better
What happens when you need them more than anything
What do you do when you love them more than you love yourself
And knowing their gone is worse than failing at everything you do
What do you do when you have a best friend
Who no longer wants to live.
Jul 22, 2025
Jul 22, 2025 at 12:25 AM UTC
You weren’t just a person; you were a feeling,
Part of every moment, every breath.
Fights and laughter, just being together—
A treasure I’ll hold onto forever.
You were the spring that brought me joy,
The bloom that made my life bright.
I did know those days would fade,
When the time came, we had to part, leaving memories in my heart.
I’ll hold you longer than I’ve known.
And now time has passed, and things have changed,
But that feeling, it still remains.
For your memory is my heart's true home.
I can let go of them, maybe someday,
But not the feeling—not ever.
May 22, 2025
May 22, 2025 at 5:50 AM UTC
Through whispered words and silent sighs,
We built a world beneath the skies.
We fought, we hurt, we drifted far,
But still, you shined like a distant star.
No matter the battles, no matter the pain,
Your nearness was where my heart remained.
In moments of silence, we found our space,
In each other’s eyes, a familiar place.
Though words may fail, and time may flee,
Just being near you was enough for me.
Now in my dreams, you softly appear,
A presence that brings both joy and fear.
We reach for words we can’t quite say,
But your warmth stays, in every way.
I carry you with me, not in regret,
But in the love we shared, the things unmet.
No matter the distance, no matter the years,
You’ll always be close, in my heart, my fears.
May 22, 2025
May 22, 2025 at 5:49 AM UTC
You know I write my love songs
and my poems
when everything feels wrong
when there's pain
I feel it all
it makes my skin crawl
into a ball of unwritten words
I must let fall onto paper
So I sit here and I feel bad
that every note pad isn't about you
it's about him or her
and love and other blurs
but never about you
and all your hues
I want to explain why
if I may
You and I
Red and purple
passionate and secure
deep and for real
you have never made me feel
pain
never made me kneel
or strain
you have always been
my place
my home
the one who will never roam
I think that's beautiful
but maybe I need to say it more
write about you on the floor
write about our love on every door
but I only seem inspired to write
while crying on the floor
You have never left me bruised
or sore
never left me seeking more
we are together
in perfect harmony
it's never a bore
You and me are
as Taytay said
Forevermore
So I write this poem to you
my best friend
my sister
my soul mate
and my favorite person
I love you
and I think you know
every day with you
to me is like
dancing in the snow
May 17, 2025
May 17, 2025 at 1:02 AM UTC
The night is still young
Screaming at the top of my lungs
Watching you sing the lyrics of our favorite song
Not a moment wasted
Take it in
It might be our last night out
HA don’t start to pout!
I’m leaving tomorrow
It doesn’t matter
Time is moving slow
So don’t feel so shattered
Everytime you miss me
Visit the old birch tree
The stars are always so bright
My Promise to you?
Strive to start a life
turn it up!
It’s my favorite part!
“Made it out alive, but I think I lost it—
Said that I was fine, I said it from the coffin!”
It was our last late night drive since we were 25
Jan 6, 2025
Jan 6, 2025 at 1:06 AM UTC
In the mirror through tears, i notice that i am dressed in the scars of every deep wound I played off like a paper cut, and the phone in my pocket weighs a thousand pounds from your text messages.
I want to skip the ******* thing in a river.
Oil and water but just as much as I know we won’t ever mix, you convince me it’s all part of the recipe.
I have shrank down, cut pieces of myself like a cake and served everyone at every table a slice every time.
Stuffed my baggage in the closet and let you move yours in instead.
Cried like an anxious dog who’s owner wasn’t around.
And we called this pain love, for 20 years.
I slipped into the role, thanks to my parents.
Mentally ill and emotionally unaware,
It’s so easy to choose what’s easy and so hard to notice your love has gone rotten.
I changed my perspective and every smooth word started to sting.
I was kind as you were building up pieces of me to fuel your own fire.
I understood until I couldn’t anymore, but you never would.
Change your perspective with me, climb the mountain and realize the hike’s easier on the way down, i would’ve carried you all the way up if you asked me. But we sat for 20 years and heard everybody on the way back down talk about the view.
I chose to sit with you instead. And when I finally took that first step up, I should’ve known it meant leaving you behind me.
I am my own destiny. I am the bullet in the chamber and the consequences of the trigger pull. I am my own mind, I tended the garden of fear and worry and constant replay of mistakes and regret. I am more than who I think I should be for anyone else.
good luck with all the **** you’ve got going on. disrespectfully yours, your ex “best friend”
Dec 18, 2024
Dec 18, 2024 at 10:50 PM UTC
You are my last 7 minutes.
And for some who don’t understand
It is the brain that portrays your best memories
Most care-free moments in life
When once you were unashamed of your smile
The times your stress was to fly away,
Your mind plays back to those times
Like
a record player on Rewind.
So, when I say that you are my last 7 minutes
I mean
You are the broken record player that repeats in me
And when someone wants to take that away
I will stand between them and you
Because you hold
my most carefree moments
my joyous of times
my life,
You are my
Last 7 minutes.
Nov 21, 2024
Nov 21, 2024 at 8:05 PM UTC
Since we last spoke things have changed alot
She's becoming more of a fighter
Her strength grows wilder
Her eyes get bigger
Her smile wider
Her hair glows brighter
Her attitude is different than before
Her life is too
But she's brave
She's got no fear
She got the dream team
She got everything she needs
All she needs now is to see through my eyes
See this poem as true
So dear chloe the only one beautiful in a gown this is for you
Jul 16, 2024
Jul 16, 2024 at 5:43 PM UTC
Wipe those ***** on your mouth.
Bitter people will always be entitled.
Envy, that's what you feel right now.
The worst is you keep eating it all.
How fool are you?
And to you my friend,
You always idolise your best of friends.
Aren't you worried about something you don't know?
The rope you keep pulling on is the one who cut you slowly.
Do you think you deserve it?
Well, Indeed!
You deserve what you tolerated my friend.
Ohh! Look at those best of friends.
The one is pulling her up while the other one is cutting her down.
How shameful are they?
Ahhh! I really enjoyed their fake laughs.
It makes me shivered!
How fool are they?
© Unatnat03
Jun 4, 2023
Jun 4, 2023 at 4:36 AM UTC
How can it be that life should be so sweet
What could I've done to earn this greatest gift
That I should have this rarest chance to meet
A soul so kind, who opens up her heart.
Their arms forever opened to embrace
Their words forever ready to uplift
Even her home, that sanctuaried place
Left open-doored to friends who go adrift.
Their voice they raise to advocate for change
To validate, they spread not hate, but love
She lives her life without a trace of shame
She must have been a gift sent from above.
No words I speak nor write could manifest
A friend like her; she really is the best.
Jun 29, 2022
Jun 29, 2022 at 3:33 PM UTC
Friendship against Night
Like a candle burning bright
Keeps shadows away
Dec 10, 2021
Dec 10, 2021 at 5:56 PM UTC
friends
will be quick to show you
just how much they don't care
when you need a hand on your shoulder
or someone to have your back
just watch how they quickly disappear
like a mirage in the desert heat
it's an illusion
they're cardboard cutouts
the truth is
they were never really there in the first place
so you can't blame them for being
fake
Jun 25, 2021
Jun 25, 2021 at 1:31 AM UTC
Blackbirds backwards
and your solid foil to my boiling yawn
is remembered
I’ll always love you my dude
even though it’s mostly memory now
we travelled odd eighties early nineties
hinterlands
full of clear stupidities and hidden
immutable truths
but I’ll always hold
ridiculous dry heated cricket pitches,
run dark *** and loose joints
as what drove us
“What should we do today?”
“I dunno”
Jun 18, 2021
Jun 18, 2021 at 6:09 PM UTC
I'll never forget when
we were so young,
you lived next door
& we did everything together.
I'll never forget
that time I came over for your
birthday party
& we accidentally locked ourselves in the bathroom,
crying & screaming on the floor
because the handle broke off
and we thought we would never be found.
I'll never forget
when we were sent outside
of the classroom because we talked
to each other too much.
We sat on the side walk
in silence.
Staring at a crushed, sticky candy apple
glowing bright artificial red in the beaming sun on the pavement
leftover from last night's
school carnival.
I'll never forget
how we could play outside
A L L day long
until the sun went to sleep
and we smelled of freshly cut grass
with wild flowers behind our ears.
The way we would
swing so high until the tips of our toes
would touch the leaves at the top of
the trees above.
And we'd laugh nervously
when we swung back down
as our stomachs would release
a kaleidoscope of butterflies.
I still remember...
And I still smile...
Apr 13, 2021
Apr 13, 2021 at 6:21 PM UTC
Somedays I wonder to my self if things move
on some where else
People come and people go
but the true people stay through the cold hard snow
So if you got Friends I hope they can stay with you all to
the very end
Apr 2, 2021
Apr 2, 2021 at 9:47 AM UTC
From the first time
We fought like hell
I know you'll end up
Being my best friend
Mar 5, 2021
Mar 5, 2021 at 1:35 PM UTC
From times when I used to see you
walk past me in corridors,
to all the adventures with you aboard.
From the fun, we had in the hallways,
to the shenanigans in the dorms.
2nd bench shallow dreaming,
To the ice cream breaks under the Sun with you.
From the ****** wardens to cigarette butts,
we went through all, me and you.
I still want to jam to those old classics with you,
Hoping to see you again in your blue night suit,
remembering our handprints on your wall.
All those fights, all those tears accord,
the period of my life I will always adore.
Blessed to have found the greatest friend in you,
Don’t forget our celebrations are due.
And yes, I LOVE YOU TOO.
Feb 8, 2021
Feb 8, 2021 at 4:30 AM UTC
We sought to see the world so wide,
To blaze a trail that was oh, so bright..
Our dreams bore wings so feather light,
And we let them soar up the clear blue skies..
Thought paths we chose were so apart,
We clutched and held all that was dear.
Time that stole through the memories held,
Faded but seived all that we felt.
You held my hand at time so hard,
Bent double over the laughter riots we shared..
It ripped us when the other was sad,
And chimed in together when absolutely mad!!
A friend , A foe, my sister or soul,
I know not what you mean anymore.
Vow I do for what it's worth,
not a day goes by, that I miss you the most.
Jan 26, 2021
Jan 26, 2021 at 12:34 PM UTC
hey i heard you are doing better
im glad
for you
im not doing better
it's worse
im tired of drawing lines on my arm
running out of time all along
they told me it'd be ok
well what if everyone was wrong
?
do you still need me
you sent me a post
"send this to the person that saved your life, even if they didn't know it"
im glad you're better
im glad i could help
but dear god i'm still falling apart
Nov 27, 2020
Nov 27, 2020 at 11:07 PM UTC
We believe they
are true friends
until that day comes,
when you really need them.
Oct 17, 2020
Oct 17, 2020 at 4:47 AM UTC