#benefits
When I wake up
I wonder what life would be
If I were skinny
Every meal means much more
The screen tells me I deserve less
Headaches keep my brain sore
Kids my age get famous for looking the best
Maybe the boys would accept me
The girls would compliment me
Drugs wouldn’t tempt me
I wouldn’t resent me
I know the truth
I don’t want to see it
I know the truth
I want to see it
When I fall asleep
I wonder what life would be
If I were skinny
Feb 7
Feb 7, 2026 at 10:41 PM UTC
One benefit of being my friend
is gaining access to my near encyclopedic
knowledge of cartoon shows.
Nov 28, 2021
Nov 28, 2021 at 6:56 AM UTC
She text peaches with face-heart emojis
I text presents with eggplant emojis
She told me to come thru
So I pull up on her
Dropping gifts off.
She likes to unwrap
Big thick presents.
Ain’t she something,
She been thankful ever since
Jun 11, 2021
Jun 11, 2021 at 9:22 PM UTC
Now as we sit, sip while smoke swisher sweets
Let me take you back in time
When I met my cherry plum with private benefit privileges
My college chick, cute Laos, do anything for me
Everyday we stay on campus, she made a house key for me
Drive me home after school to work, very supportive to me
Gave cash, ran my bath, clean clothes, a lot of love to me
Even tell her folks she at her girlfriend’s, when she staying with me
Jealous when another lady around, highly clingy under me
She a cutie, very ambitious, trying to be my “Mrs.”
Cooking bacon & eggs Saturday morning in my kitchen
Not to say I wouldn’t claim her as “Mrs.”, she deserve a chance
Her love for me is above me now, that’s out of my hands
Just saying
May 15, 2021
May 15, 2021 at 12:59 AM UTC
Babe It's getting late and I'm tired, I better drive home now she whispered.
It was the last thing she actually wanted to do as she felt the weight of his body on her lap, with one hand intertwined with his, and the other caressing his back.
The moment was perfect, sitting in silence just being with him
she could stay like that forever, but she could feel those three
poisoned words wanting so desperately to escape her mouth, fear
started to set in, a deep real fear that this could all be coming to an
end in a few short weeks, how could that be, they had been through
so much, always coming back to each other like a wave to its shore.
She promised herself she could do it, she could be friends with him, she
could separate her feelings from his tainted lips and electrifying body.
But as she leans down placing her soft gentle lips on his head it's clear it's
too hard, she needs to escape, she can't get this close again, just for him to
leave, so she'll lie and tell him she needs to go, kiss him goodbye and once
again drive home with tear stained eyes.
-LH
Dec 16, 2020
Dec 16, 2020 at 10:57 PM UTC
Come here,
Let me taste & bite softly into those lips little lady
Juicy like my favorite candy,
that’s a “Now & Later”.
Kissing on my neck, giving me hickeys
Loving my scent, always stealing my hoodies.
Grab you, squeeze you, spank you, thank you
No one else deserves this treatment like you do.
I want you to focus, watch, & observe
Lick, slurp, oh I struck a nerve.
Please you, please you, keeps you so eager
Those jeans cause trouble the way them cheeks just sit up.
In public so sweet, but my private lil’ freak
I peep you trying to play me for keeps.
Attractive, Delicious, Teasing, Yummy
Keep you around cause you stay stunning.
Bragging to others you’re taken & that I’m your man
I like that cause I needed boo thang like you on my hands.
Dec 13, 2020
Dec 13, 2020 at 10:26 PM UTC
They should really put a warning before spending a year of your time with someone that will never make you theirs.
A warning that ending it will be easy, but staying gone will be hard.
That your nights will feel different when you aren't wrapped in their sheets.
A warning that you'll still miss them even though they were never yours to begin with.
Aug 1, 2020
Aug 1, 2020 at 8:52 PM UTC
Sahara Dust
Ally & Foe
By
Carson OTP Alexander
Potassium, Calcium, Iron,
Nitrogen, Phosphorus
Are food for Phytoplanktons n Amazon Trees,
Still loads of it is a Blanket that makes me sneeze ,
Hurt you n me medically,
Via its nourishments n Blows,
Is D Sahara Dust
Ally & Foe,
Transported By Easternly Trade Winds,
Depositing tons
On The Atlantic Ocean n various land falls,
Decreasing Strength of Hurricanes,
Unknown to us all?
Authenticated By Various Scientists,
A food source chain & Mental Bliss,
Similar in Color to Clouds Of Rain,
Viewed from my Naked eye,
Upon The coastal turrain,
Natures Happiness & Pain,
Via Its Nourishments & Blows,
The Sahara Dust
Ally & Foe!
Jul 3, 2020
Jul 3, 2020 at 8:31 PM UTC
"You can't hear me!" she whispered,
And I just turned my head.
Sometimes it's better not to hear....
Depends on what's been said.
I know I irritate her;
(I irritate myself).
Hearing aids are waiting
On some hearing doctor's shelf.
While we go on debating,
Because I'm in no hurry,
I sit here contemplating....
Sometimes it's better not to worry.
At the things I heard that peeved me,
Before I tune the wide world out;
Honey, if you really want to catch me,
You're gonna have to shout.
Feb 11, 2020
Feb 11, 2020 at 8:26 AM UTC
Penny, Kaiser Permanente
Diana, Blue Shield
Brenda, UnitedHealthcare
But no longer Karen,
She's now unemployed
Feb 2, 2020
Feb 2, 2020 at 10:28 PM UTC
I don't want to be used
I want to be loved
I don't want to be your moon
When the Sun is not around!
Aug 16, 2019
Aug 16, 2019 at 8:57 AM UTC
I always liked you best at the movies,
a cozy darkness mostly concealing your face.
You were a blank canvas then,
I could impose whatever I wanted—
And I did so to make you love me.
I always liked you best in your bed,
Showing me, so carefully, your records one by one;
Side by side on our stomachs, still damp from the sweat of *******
The closet light above our heads was harsh and unfriendly.
I put secret meaning in that moment, as if it would always matter to you as much as it mattered to me
I did so to make you love me.
I always liked you best when you talked about your future,
And all the things you’ll have to leave behind.
You could never commit to something sooner, leaving all this uncharted time between us,
I had hoped to serve as a worthy distraction, and
I did so to make you love me.
I always liked you best when I made you ***
Your face too far away to kiss
Rapid crashing with the lights on.
You said it wasn’t easy—
You said it’s because I’m the kind of girl that doesn’t GET ******
I memorized the pattern with the tenacity of a late night basement video game binge—
I did so to make you love me.
Jul 26, 2019
Jul 26, 2019 at 3:49 PM UTC
Just friends we promised
"Nothing more"
He said as he pulls me to the floor...
That night I went to bed with a *****
He left before dawn...
He uses me but I dont mind
God help me...
I've fallen for a *****
Jul 24, 2019
Jul 24, 2019 at 9:58 PM UTC
"So is this what we are? Friends with benefits, right?"
Oh, right.
Jun 3, 2019
Jun 3, 2019 at 4:03 AM UTC
I don't know if you want to be more than beneficial friends
I don't really want to pretend
I've been told you just want to hit
But I don't think I'd mind if you missed
I used to never go with it
Sometimes I wish I could go back again
I never imagined it as a kid
That I'd go through a *** phase and regret what I did
And subsequently, I'd be bringing bad boys with
Ones I thought I would marry and then we'd get rich
Everything has changed, I am not the same
Now you probably think I'm telling a myth
I cannot tell you a reason for this
Summer is bringing temptations
Maybe I'm selfish and just want ****
Remembering all the times I spent in boys' basements
I know that's not what I want
Wish I could be what you need
But I can't see through all of your fronts
I don't know what you're trying to be
I do not think that there would be a problem with us
I just think there is a problem with me
I don't know if I can handle guessing anymore
I'm not the go-to *** anymore
I'm not sure what you want to be
But I'm not what you think
This is way more emotional than I thought I would be
I'm not what I introduced myself to be
I promised myself to be honest with you
And I want to do this with more integrity
Can't help but think that I'm being played
If that's the case then just tell me
I am always prepared for the truth
I'm telling myself your friends are right
But should I trust your friends more than you
Now my heart is stuck in the grayest of areas
Thinking back to when your friends said not to trust you
Remembering when they warned me not to
Thinking about how we might go to a party
And I will be there confused about what to do
I still take heed at the first words about you
And I do not think there is a way of preparing us
For the inevitable or so it seems
When you get a job and I chase a college dream
Eventually, you'll find a girl much more pretty
Someone that's better that I could never be
You're a guy with smarts and muscles
I don't smoke much and I don't drink much liquor
I want to know what you want, but you telling me I don't figure
You'll find a better girl, like the one you are talking too
Who's body and conversation is probably better
I should be getting myself focused again
Sometimes it feels like I don't really know
I know that we started as beneficial friends
But that type of bond has room to grow
But I don't want to pretend
I don't know if I'd have the emotional control
I don't know if I can handle guessing anymore
I don't know if I can be that go-to *** anymore
Apr 9, 2019
Apr 9, 2019 at 7:53 PM UTC
In the midst of our passion,
I tried to make you show your hand.
You were losing your poker face,
I thought your inhibitions were gone.
But when I said “tell me what you want”
You replied “for you to be happy and healthy”.
And that shattered the dam.
The wall that held back the sea splintered.
And I let you see me drown in my pain.
I told you how letting you gorge on me
Made me the kind of sad I could control.
It was a shallow kind of sad, one that could be fixed with scotch tape.
I ripped the adhesive off of the shallow sad
When the deep dark sad became too much.
I told you how letting you gorge on me
Made me feel useful, even if it validated everything he told me.
I don’t care that my body is nothing more than something to be ******
At least I’m doing my friend a favor.
So even if I can’t be happy and healthy right now,
And even if you know that,
At least we can see each other for what we are
As I let you feed his desires for me,
And you let me feed my desire for pain.
Jan 19, 2019
Jan 19, 2019 at 10:38 PM UTC
you knew i liked you
but we had become so close as friends
that when you asked me out i hesitated
i didn’t want to ruin everything.
not again.
we went out anyways.
i kept my distance,
but ended up regretting it -
i was into you and
that was that.
i fought my nerves and
confronted you about my feelings.
you didn’t want a relationship,
you were leaving soon and
couldn’t commit
but you liked me too
and didn’t want to do nothing about it.
friends with benefits
you suggested.
that didn’t seem like me
but maybe it was exactly what i needed
i agreed
under the conditions that
nothing hurt our friendship
we went out again.
you didn’t know if we should,
you thought it didn’t seem like me
i agreed
i’m sentimental
why do i have to be so sentimental
later you said you wanted to kiss me
and i really wanted to kiss you too
so we did.
it felt passionate and intimate
i felt closer to you.
a couple weeks went by
no talk about it.
i confronted you again.
i couldn’t give myself
to someone i’m not dating
you wanted more than kissing
or you wanted nothing at all
you didn’t want me to regret anything
that i did with you
i wasn’t sure what i wanted.
i said we should
test the waters
so i said you could touch me
i felt i needed to experience new levels of
physical intimacy
with someone i trusted.
that someone was you.
until you grew impatient of
my virginity
you cut off our deal
insisting it had nothing to do with me
that’s my problem
you said.
i said it’s fine, our friendship is most important.
it is most important.
i could never risk losing you that way
something still twisted inside my gut
at what you said
i thought you wanted to be intimate with me
because you liked me for me
no
you just wanted somebody -
some body-
to give you that easy lay.
but i wouldn’t give myself up that easily
you couldn’t handle it
you were done with me
i felt like i was less than a person to you
a person i had trusted with
everything i am.
Aug 6, 2018
Aug 6, 2018 at 1:47 PM UTC
i am of an age ...
when hubris cannot be afforded
and perception is informed by experience
when a mind that is questioning is a turn on
yet healthy enough for primal urges
i am of an age
where knowing what i don’t know
fills me with curiosity and wonder
when i have time to look at nature
and think deeply of its beauty
i am of an age
when i know to curb my nostalgia
so not to bore the young
but have a rich past to appreciate
and the bold inspired moves
that made it great
i am of an age
when i can play with my grand daughter
with connection and joy
while seeing the wonder of learning
and the purity of innocence
i am of an age
when the worthy are quickly separated
from the time thieves
who are quickly dispatched
only to give to the worthy
i am of an age
when character and spirit are primary attractions
regardless of any other categorisations
when the soul of another can be seen
and be the most important thing
i am of an age
when i walk the dog
and feel like a boy
when kissing a loved one
makes me feel new
i am of an an age
when i can appreciate you
Feb 25, 2018
Feb 25, 2018 at 6:55 AM UTC
I love you with my heart
because I see you with my soul
to love you my best friend
my only single goal,
I love your soulful eyes,
they touch me deep within,
you love me as I'm perfect,
an erase the scars from skin,
I have never been touched the way
that you have touched me love,
I feel that if there is a God
he sent you from above,
Everything you say,
just draws me in some more,
I want you every minute,
an it never seems a bore,
you know that I will love you well
an it would never seem a chore,
You understand my mind
we are so much like the same,
I know that you have worries,
yes I know it's not a game,
but to miss two stars align,
it would really be a shame,
Please down the road we go,
until we're back again,
I do hope you will say,
I'll be more than just a friend,
Because the benefits and possibilities
are infinitely beautiful and endless..
Ma Cherie © 2017
May 3, 2017
May 3, 2017 at 2:00 PM UTC