#beaware
“The prettiest smile hides the deepest secrets,
The prettiest eyes have cried the most tears,
And the kindest hearts have felt the most pain”
Nov 1, 2021
Nov 1, 2021 at 9:35 PM UTC
The anxiety of the unexplained
Is like an impoverished state
A mental ache
Caged alone
Sidestepping the back of an alleyway
pummeled in
cobwebs
Squeamishly awaiting the sentencing of a scarcity filled critter approaching its death
The existence of him; an individual
And myself
I thought I knew what I felt at the time
The excitement in my chest
at the very thought of speaking to him aloud
Even in my thoughts
In my dreams
The relationship between them
has been severed by it
As though it had been abandoned
By the riverbed
of endless possibilities
met with the banks of effortlessness neglect to which nothing happens in the end
I kept
waiting for more to flood my insides
in due time
It was not my energy alone
that was responsible for this repeated
Cycle
We were unprotected and unrenewed: despite him always speaking of protection
it was manipulation before any sort of new,
A blinded experience
That I did not choose to see
Only a man who is ready for everything, who excludes nothing, will live the best of relation
to another as something that can grow and remain alive
I willed myself to exhaustion
This existence of fear
as a large or small window depending on the day, I only knew pieces of that room, he showed me a heart contained by secrecy
Placed by a locked door
a slipshod floor on which he walked
up and down the steps of my attempted understanding
He had his own fatal security
And a dangerous
insecurity that created a madwoman out of me
I felt out the shape and the textures of his cornering
A room set up to be a closet without light
He said he is a prophet
Like God
But all he created was himself as a stranger
To me and whoever knew him
I did not want to be a prisoner.
But I felt trapped
Nothing could worry me
I kept going with it
I had no reason to
mistrust that world for it wasn’t against me.
YetI was alone and the dangers did I try to love
It seemed to me the most alien
But I wanted to trust him without faith.
How can that be? It was not in faith that I believed.
Perhaps all the wolves of our lives are cloaked
in false princes clothing
waiting to see us
even for a single moment
beautiful and brave
And they don’t even know why
“Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us.”
Dec 26, 2020
Dec 26, 2020 at 2:12 PM UTC
To see reality
But beyond the scope
With a pair of daydreamers
Focused within the span
Below or within the fantasy
That frightens or dictates
The odds of misery.
To perceive a blurry vision
Yet a clear imagination
Of what is yet to be seen
Or what is to ever commence
Never aware of what to believe
For the mischief of every storyteller
Uninvited yet entertained
Delivers free delirium.
In a thoroughgoing reform
Of every ongoing mend
Hoping to resurrect
The peaceful beginnings
And end every desolation.
To roll the orbs of fortune-tellers
As if to find any solution
But to end up feeling emptiness
That invades the mighty borough
So decides to fill with darkness
Such pair of daydreamers
And to let the warmth
Of frozen moments
Become a sudden comfort
So swiftly passing by.
Oct 18, 2017
Oct 18, 2017 at 8:35 AM UTC
So many things in my Head
I can read minds you see
This girl wishes to be dead
And that one is already dying
You can live and not be alive
You can jump from the sky's and feel nothing
Or go for a simple drive and be more alive than you have ever been
It's not your situation its the people who are around
When you go through the motions together you really feel it all
and when you are apart its like a you start to fall
crawling through this wreckage looking for your valuables but it is the people who are crawling too that are valuable
if she wants to be dead and you don't want her to
Tell her she is precious because maybe that will be the first time she's heard it
Maybe it will be the last
Apr 8, 2016
Apr 8, 2016 at 6:00 PM UTC