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#beater
I wrote a poem for my biography to a special person about Adam, I thought you would like to read it. Blue Heart You were 18, so many years in front of you. It felt like a dark eternity, you didn’t want to go. I saw it in your sunken eyes. The vacant stare and sad dark eyes. I saw when you were sitting around the table prom night. So much going around but you were too calm too collected. too inside your mind for us. I knew that blank expression from experience All too well. You screamed for help silent and loud I reached for your hand but you f e   l    l You were poised and calm Broken but full of love. All I wanted to do was help you. you were standing still when the world went on and it did go on, it did, without you. When you were standing there at the edge I wondered about you, all in my head. We were short lived, a friendship that was fast. You came, changed me, then you left. it came and went in a flash. I knew when no one else could guess. you put it all on me, didn’t you. but I was not cross with you. Heartbroken, yes scared, yes alone, yes mad, no Your color was blue Blue heart, blue veins Blue is the color of our planet from far far away we wore it proud it was all for you, a blue solemn silence. and the world spun fast and all the people hurried fast, real fast and no one ever smiled. You weren’t all there, in that head of yours. dark and empty you were sad but you lived like you would die tomorrow tomorrow came too soon and it was up to you. it was always up to you. Meeting you was bitter you put me through stress, anxiety and heartache you put me through shame and shock All I wanted was you by my side, and you there was not. Meeting you was sweet you gave me smiles and laughs, good music and thoughts you gave me a feeling of friendship and care. All I wanted was you by my side, but you were not there. You were poised and calm, you rubbed off on me. I was hyped and excited you called me “ADHD” You drove an old red beater with water bottles everywhere, with **** in the glove compartment. but you didn’t care. Your drove with sunglasses and the FM radio loud. You drove in silence, thinking no doubt. You loved the sun but you would hike for the shade when we were together you took me away. I didn’t think, I didn’t have nerves. We talked about the world We talked about life You had a life you thought you didn’t deserve. Whoever planted that seed had some **** nerve you wrote like me but I wrote for myself you wrote for us when there’d be nothing else. I knew when no one else could guess. you put it all on me, didn’t you. but I was not mad. Heartbroken, yes scared, yes alone, yes mad, no When you were gone I read and I read i wanted to know exactly when you felt what you felt. You called me your jav friend you called me your angel You are up there watching over me I yelled and screamed I couldn’t breathe. I shut them out, I cursed at you. I hated you I cried for you I only see you in my head Dreaming once and a while of your smile, of your eyes but they are never dark they are never sad they are never empty The vacant stare is not there. your hair is a giant mess and I freeze that moment right there. You said you were alone you said it was a secret you asked me about my darkest and you told me all your secrets I have never been in that much peace knowing I kept you there It felt like moments when it was hours and you were gone too **** soon. tomorrow came too fast and it was up to you. it was always up to you. Now I wear a band on my wrist and pray for your peace that is all I have left, but you mean so much to me. I hope you are happy, I hope your journey has ended and you found what you wanted My heart was once broken but soon if all this is true it will be mended.
0
May 27, 2014
May 27, 2014 at 1:27 PM UTC
hannah-anderson-1
Blue Heart
I wrote a poem for my biography to a special person about Adam, I thought you would like to read it. Blue Heart You were 18, so many years in front of you. It felt like a dark eternity, you didn’t want to go. I saw it in your sunken eyes. The vacant stare and sad dark eyes. I saw when you were sitting around the table prom night. So much going around but you were too calm too collected. too inside your mind for us. I knew that blank expression from experience All too well. You screamed for help silent and loud I reached for your hand but you f e   l    l You were poised and calm Broken but full of love. All I wanted to do was help you. you were standing still when the world went on and it did go on, it did, without you. When you were standing there at the edge I wondered about you, all in my head. We were short lived, a friendship that was fast. You came, changed me, then you left. it came and went in a flash. I knew when no one else could guess. you put it all on me, didn’t you. but I was not cross with you. Heartbroken, yes scared, yes alone, yes mad, no Your color was blue Blue heart, blue veins Blue is the color of our planet from far far away we wore it proud it was all for you, a blue solemn silence. and the world spun fast and all the people hurried fast, real fast and no one ever smiled. You weren’t all there, in that head of yours. dark and empty you were sad but you lived like you would die tomorrow tomorrow came too soon and it was up to you. it was always up to you. Meeting you was bitter you put me through stress, anxiety and heartache you put me through shame and shock All I wanted was you by my side, and you there was not. Meeting you was sweet you gave me smiles and laughs, good music and thoughts you gave me a feeling of friendship and care. All I wanted was you by my side, but you were not there. You were poised and calm, you rubbed off on me. I was hyped and excited you called me “ADHD” You drove an old red beater with water bottles everywhere, with **** in the glove compartment. but you didn’t care. Your drove with sunglasses and the FM radio loud. You drove in silence, thinking no doubt. You loved the sun but you would hike for the shade when we were together you took me away. I didn’t think, I didn’t have nerves. We talked about the world We talked about life You had a life you thought you didn’t deserve. Whoever planted that seed had some **** nerve you wrote like me but I wrote for myself you wrote for us when there’d be nothing else. I knew when no one else could guess. you put it all on me, didn’t you. but I was not mad. Heartbroken, yes scared, yes alone, yes mad, no When you were gone I read and I read i wanted to know exactly when you felt what you felt. You called me your jav friend you called me your angel You are up there watching over me I yelled and screamed I couldn’t breathe. I shut them out, I cursed at you. I hated you I cried for you I only see you in my head Dreaming once and a while of your smile, of your eyes but they are never dark they are never sad they are never empty The vacant stare is not there. your hair is a giant mess and I freeze that moment right there. You said you were alone you said it was a secret you asked me about my darkest and you told me all your secrets I have never been in that much peace knowing I kept you there It felt like moments when it was hours and you were gone too **** soon. tomorrow came too fast and it was up to you. it was always up to you. Now I wear a band on my wrist and pray for your peace that is all I have left, but you mean so much to me. I hope you are happy, I hope your journey has ended and you found what you wanted My heart was once broken but soon if all this is true it will be mended.
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131
It's hard to think- this time last week- I was searching for weeds- in the cracks of the street- in front of the church- Where I once worked- In the sun, hardwork- Pulled weeds all day till my hands hurt- I was working at the shelter when he found me- said son you need to leave- move out, get out of this town- because you ain't happy, and you sure as hell ain't proud. Back to flint- crime hole of Michigan- where I once lived- when I was a kid- where the buildings look like **** and the streets smell like **** It's been six years since I left for Maine- I've searched flint up and down for a familiar face- the only thing familiar was the old cafe- we spent summers here, breakfast everyday. Lady at the counter asked "sweetie what's your name"- She was cleaning the tables while I had my tea- She said they don't pay her enough for this **** I said "you still make more than me" She recognized my face- I asked her if She remembered any of my friends- We used to come here everyday- After school. For burgers and shakes- I explained, I never kept in touch- I'm not the type to, And even if I did- they wouldn't hear from me that much- I told her what had happened. How I lost my house in flames. I have no where to stay, not my parents, and I don't have any friends. She said she remembered you. She remembered how we were always together. Asked if you still lived in town- She said yeah- she sees you sometimes, hanging around. She set a glass down- Poured some tea- Shared a cup with me- She said I don't want to be involved with you- Asked her what she means. Welcome home. She said. She winked. Again. Napkin and a pen. Gave me an address. Out past the green light, Past The fairgrounds. I drive out and around. And found my self nearly out of gas. Every light stayed green as I would pass. There was never any traffic in this town. Or at least none that would last. Drive past old miss myrtles. Her house was covered in vines. She used to leave her window open, Set there fresh baked pies. I wonder of she's alive. I found your house. Boarded up. Two men came out. Undone zippers and button ups. One laughed and smirked, pretty girl. Worth every dime. The veins in my neck popped and i clenched my fists at my side. You walked out side. You stood there, so beaten. It's clear that you've eaten, Some fists in your life. You walked back in side. It's too late to hide, The black bruises, your eyes. Don't try and disguise it's too late for make up and lies. Drugs and money on the table. Your life's a pond that stands still. One drop or touch, And you shake and waver, the flavor is enough. Holes in the roof. Teeth on the ground. Trash and needles, Radio blaring loud. Outside traffic. Busted lips, white noise. In a crib, a witnessing little boy. Thought of you more and more. Saw a sign, you were what I came home for. Not your arm full of scars, Or face full of sores. All my friends have left and gone. Numbers lost. Seems like this whole town is dead. Every street lights stuck on red.
0
May 25, 2014
May 25, 2014 at 4:23 AM UTC
quinton-horras-yard
Holy
It's hard to think- this time last week- I was searching for weeds- in the cracks of the street- in front of the church- Where I once worked- In the sun, hardwork- Pulled weeds all day till my hands hurt- I was working at the shelter when he found me- said son you need to leave- move out, get out of this town- because you ain't happy, and you sure as hell ain't proud. Back to flint- crime hole of Michigan- where I once lived- when I was a kid- where the buildings look like **** and the streets smell like **** It's been six years since I left for Maine- I've searched flint up and down for a familiar face- the only thing familiar was the old cafe- we spent summers here, breakfast everyday. Lady at the counter asked "sweetie what's your name"- She was cleaning the tables while I had my tea- She said they don't pay her enough for this **** I said "you still make more than me" She recognized my face- I asked her if She remembered any of my friends- We used to come here everyday- After school. For burgers and shakes- I explained, I never kept in touch- I'm not the type to, And even if I did- they wouldn't hear from me that much- I told her what had happened. How I lost my house in flames. I have no where to stay, not my parents, and I don't have any friends. She said she remembered you. She remembered how we were always together. Asked if you still lived in town- She said yeah- she sees you sometimes, hanging around. She set a glass down- Poured some tea- Shared a cup with me- She said I don't want to be involved with you- Asked her what she means. Welcome home. She said. She winked. Again. Napkin and a pen. Gave me an address. Out past the green light, Past The fairgrounds. I drive out and around. And found my self nearly out of gas. Every light stayed green as I would pass. There was never any traffic in this town. Or at least none that would last. Drive past old miss myrtles. Her house was covered in vines. She used to leave her window open, Set there fresh baked pies. I wonder of she's alive. I found your house. Boarded up. Two men came out. Undone zippers and button ups. One laughed and smirked, pretty girl. Worth every dime. The veins in my neck popped and i clenched my fists at my side. You walked out side. You stood there, so beaten. It's clear that you've eaten, Some fists in your life. You walked back in side. It's too late to hide, The black bruises, your eyes. Don't try and disguise it's too late for make up and lies. Drugs and money on the table. Your life's a pond that stands still. One drop or touch, And you shake and waver, the flavor is enough. Holes in the roof. Teeth on the ground. Trash and needles, Radio blaring loud. Outside traffic. Busted lips, white noise. In a crib, a witnessing little boy. Thought of you more and more. Saw a sign, you were what I came home for. Not your arm full of scars, Or face full of sores. All my friends have left and gone. Numbers lost. Seems like this whole town is dead. Every street lights stuck on red.
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