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#barelyholding
Fighting not to drown in the whirlpool of torturous thoughts twisting my slowly breaking mind.
0
Jul 17, 2025
Jul 17, 2025 at 1:51 AM UTC
thesolitarycloud
Whirlpools
Fighting not to drown in the whirlpool of torturous thoughts twisting my slowly breaking mind.
Continue reading...
5
Often times,  We get so many answers of “I’m too busy" or “Hit me up later" But no one realizes that I… I don't want to be the one that reaches out I don't want to be the one that initiates anything  I just want you to be there, and tell me  That life's crap, but you got me.  That you know I’m down, and  You're by my side to pick me up.  That when I wake up,  You'll be by my side,  We'll be walking together,  Laughing and smiling...  Ha. Too bad, this is only a dream.  I’m not lonely, only alone.  I’m not dead yet, only dying.  I’m struggling, but barely holding —  — on. You see, I feel like a fool. Trusting too many people With words of Content and satisfaction, Ambitions and aspirations. A light in the darkness A light at the end of the tunnel A beacon of hope in open oceans But there is no hope. Only an illusion. There is no peace. Only pieces of what we Believe is there. But their belief Is that we’re In this together. But are we really? You tell me that It'll all be good. But I'm not good. I only say it Because if I say anything else, You'll be at a loss for words, Unable to say anything And then, it fills the void With an awkward silence. And like everyone else, You'll say that You're there for me. But when I reach out, Only emptiness fills my grasp. Silence is like my isolation. It's the reason why I feel so foolish and — — alone. It's not like I don't have "friends" - so to speak - but It's like there's Not a person in the world That's willing to listen. It's funny, you know? They say that Sticks and stones May break my bones, But words will Never hurt me. Actions are the ones That we forgive and forget But words... Words are the things that We remember forever. When someone tells you That they're There for you. Because their word Is their promise. And so when you call out, You wait... And wait... And wait. But then you realize That, like rules, Promises end up being broken. Promises are unreliable. Words are unreliable. Don't tell me that You'll answer when I call, You'll be there when I need you, You'll listen when I talk, Because you won't. Don't tell me that; Don't promise me anything. Because like the rest of the world, You don't actually give a **** But I don't blame you. I'm not trying to Victimize myself Because I'm not a victim I'm not a survivor. I'm not who you think I am. Underneath all My strength and pride My discipline and determination My fortitude and dedication I've lied. It seems like life's All about performance You want to be the best? You have to beat the best. Even if that person Is yourself.
0
Jun 17, 2018
Jun 17, 2018 at 7:47 PM UTC
SWord
Honest Recordings #2
Often times,  We get so many answers of “I’m too busy" or “Hit me up later" But no one realizes that I… I don't want to be the one that reaches out I don't want to be the one that initiates anything  I just want you to be there, and tell me  That life's crap, but you got me.  That you know I’m down, and  You're by my side to pick me up.  That when I wake up,  You'll be by my side,  We'll be walking together,  Laughing and smiling...  Ha. Too bad, this is only a dream.  I’m not lonely, only alone.  I’m not dead yet, only dying.  I’m struggling, but barely holding —  — on. You see, I feel like a fool. Trusting too many people With words of Content and satisfaction, Ambitions and aspirations. A light in the darkness A light at the end of the tunnel A beacon of hope in open oceans But there is no hope. Only an illusion. There is no peace. Only pieces of what we Believe is there. But their belief Is that we’re In this together. But are we really? You tell me that It'll all be good. But I'm not good. I only say it Because if I say anything else, You'll be at a loss for words, Unable to say anything And then, it fills the void With an awkward silence. And like everyone else, You'll say that You're there for me. But when I reach out, Only emptiness fills my grasp. Silence is like my isolation. It's the reason why I feel so foolish and — — alone. It's not like I don't have "friends" - so to speak - but It's like there's Not a person in the world That's willing to listen. It's funny, you know? They say that Sticks and stones May break my bones, But words will Never hurt me. Actions are the ones That we forgive and forget But words... Words are the things that We remember forever. When someone tells you That they're There for you. Because their word Is their promise. And so when you call out, You wait... And wait... And wait. But then you realize That, like rules, Promises end up being broken. Promises are unreliable. Words are unreliable. Don't tell me that You'll answer when I call, You'll be there when I need you, You'll listen when I talk, Because you won't. Don't tell me that; Don't promise me anything. Because like the rest of the world, You don't actually give a **** But I don't blame you. I'm not trying to Victimize myself Because I'm not a victim I'm not a survivor. I'm not who you think I am. Underneath all My strength and pride My discipline and determination My fortitude and dedication I've lied. It seems like life's All about performance You want to be the best? You have to beat the best. Even if that person Is yourself.
Continue reading...
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