#axiety
I can't stop taking care,
Needing to make sure they're ok,
Can't stop the worry from seeping into my veins, my bones, and my soul,
Can't think of myself when you struggle,
I can't sleep when I know you're struggling to keep your heart beating,
Can't sleep when the last time I slept I woke up to you being taken by ambulance,
I can't stop the stress from seeping into my heart,
Because you're always in my heart and I never stop thinking about you,
So will I stop being a caregiver,
No,
Never,
I won't stop being a caregiver because it's who I am,
All I know to be in cases of anxiety,
To be helpful is to have purpose,
Without helping makes me a pair of dull scissors useless to anyone trying to open something,
So I will forever be a caregiver.
Apr 26
Apr 26, 2026 at 9:16 PM UTC
.
i just wish i could know the me that everyone else sees.
i wanna see the me that people see as a safe space,
the me that people look up to,
the me that people fall in love with.
i want to see someone i wouldn’t hate every time i go to wash my face and see myself in the mirror.
the one who doesn’t cry every night.
the one who sleeps.
i wanna see the beautiful person i hear so much about.
Jul 16, 2019
Jul 16, 2019 at 12:56 PM UTC
My brain rattles around and I'm lost on what to say, what to do, where to start. There is a mountain of things on my list of life. I don't want the list, I dont want anything on it, I don't want life.
I just want to run. Run very far away forever and ever until the end.
-t.s.
Aug 23, 2017
Aug 23, 2017 at 11:02 PM UTC
I forgot how it felt.
The aching of a chest as I lean over my patio wall.
Having an affinity with the dust in my throat
That burns along side of my eyes
And you dont know,
But it was worse when you left.
Five.
My dark blue comforter.
My closet door.
The light switch.
The cigarbox on my night stand.
The ***** laundry in my hamper.
I forgot how it felt.
To not breathe when trying to catch as much of the stale air in my bedroom as I could.
Residing there were residual hearts in residual pieces.
Four.
My sheets
My bed frame
The rough carpeting
My cat who disappeared because of the noise.
I forgot how it felt to feel like youre dying.
When anxiety turns into losing your ******* ****
Because you lost it and you're alone.
Three.
The hum of a ceiling fan that barely works
Scratching of a pen on paper
My breathing and soft whispers that dont matter.
I forgot how it felt.
To feel useless and filled with an intense self loathing
Because I saw your eyes lined with red and watched you walk away - my voice not carrying to call you back.
Two.
My (your) pillow.
My comforter.
I forgot how it felt
To close the door and fall to the floor because I didnt work anymore.
And to know, buried deep under this weeping,
That you wont forgive me.
One.
Salt.
I forgot how it felt.
To feel like I'm dying.
Jul 17, 2017
Jul 17, 2017 at 1:32 PM UTC
Penance comes to me on the eve
Of the second coming,
Awash with promise and horizons
That have never seen the night.
I know my own name clearer
Than any punch I've ever felt;
Or slamming door where I am
Standing on the wrong side.
My name is Amelia and
I am stronger than any storm
You have ever weathered;
More powerful than a hair in
Your mouth, or smoke in your eye.
I stand before you as Atlas,
Holding up this world with the sheer
Determination of someone prepared to die.
I can see the new world through
The same eyes that used to show me
Darkness more terrifying than the day,
When light would fall into every crack,
And bounce across every word I said.
Now as I move to meet my maker,
I do so calmly, yet without caution.
I know my own name now.
Sep 19, 2016
Sep 19, 2016 at 4:42 PM UTC
The best things in life are never easy.
From love to happiness to even teaching your goals.
It's a struggle it's a battle
It test the will it finds out how hungry you are.
From school to love to even simple goals
Life is a challenge
Life is a bittersweet candy.
Bitter in the beginning but always a sweet feeling at the end just my
Honest confession from the heart
Aug 31, 2016
Aug 31, 2016 at 1:48 AM UTC