#attachmentissues
I hate giving you the satisfaction
of seeing me like this.
I called you at 3 in the morning
thinking maybe, for once,
I could still be something good to you.
Something useful.
But it was all ********
You used to call those girls stupid.
Now I’m one of them too.
Was I ever different to you?
Or did you just know the right words
for every girl who wanted to feel chosen?
You made me feel special
like it meant something permanent.
Like I wasn’t replaceable.
But where were you
when everything became real?
You said it was true love.
I think true love would’ve stayed.
Now I keep thinking
beauty is just another way to be consumed.
All beautiful girls think they’re loved.
The truth is
people love looking at them.
Not knowing them.
Not keeping them.
You become a body first.
A person later.
Maybe never.
I wish I were smarter than this.
Smarter than waiting.
Smarter than believing you.
My head is full of paranoia and doubt.
Every memory feels poisoned now.
I wish I had never met you again.
Some things don’t heal.
They just learn how to stay quiet.
May 26
May 26, 2026 at 5:17 PM UTC
A never-ending pattern,
my own internal fight.
I get attached too easily,
pour my soul into others,
give them my all
and leave nothing for myself.
Maybe if I make them happy,
keep them safe,
they’ll stay this time.
Maybe for once,
I won’t be left
empty-handed,
rebuilding again.
A never-ending pattern,
my own quiet war.
Maybe if I give enough,
they’ll finally like me.
Maybe I’ll finally be loved
without having to beg.
Maybe I’ll finally be wanted
without having to bribe.
Until then, my pattern of destruction continues.
Demolishing my own foundation
just to furnish others.
Turning myself into shelter
for people who never intended to stay.
I attach too easily,
too quickly.
I try so hard to fix others,
forgetting I’m just as broken,
just as alone.
I get excited too easily,
too quickly.
I try so hard to hold onto others,
but they always leave.
And I’m left there,
demolished by my own bricks,
heartbroken and crumbled,
because I let it happen again.
But even in the rubble,
I ignore the caution signs
because some part of me still hopes.
She always has.
And she always will.
Aug 4, 2025
Aug 4, 2025 at 2:33 AM UTC
He fell first,
she fell harder
Fell and never got back up again.
He stood up while she was still down.
In a way it was good,
until the emotions took over.
Not able to focus ,
she failed and kept failing.
Everytime she hated on him,
only brought tears to her eyes.
For how could she ever hate him,
when she listened to those pretty lies
It was bad enough to go through,
with the heart now starting to shatter.
Now wishing none of this was true,
only because she fell harder.
Jun 11, 2025
Jun 11, 2025 at 6:35 AM UTC
Everything is too
sugar-spine, salt-lipped,
staticstitched and jitterglow.
I can’t sit still
without turning into
a girl-shaped emergency.
I keep my synonyms in jars—
one for ache,
one for almost,
one for the word I made up
that means I miss you so much I become a faucet.
Language is a loose tooth.
I tongue it until it bleeds metaphor.
Call it poetry.
Call it coping.
Call it anything but what it is:
me, peeling the world into vowels
because I’m scared if I say what I mean,
you’ll hear it.
And then what?
You’ll answer?
You’ll echo?
You’ll send a voice memo
saying same
and I’ll combust on the Q train
like a well-read matchbook?
God, I am so
caption-core,
pun-drunk,
rhyme-accident-prone.
I named my stomach pit afterthought.
I named my wrists reminder.
And I named you
don’t.
But I still say it
every time I open my mouth
to speak.
Apr 6, 2025
Apr 6, 2025 at 9:30 AM UTC
Why do I attach to people so easily
They come into my life
And I latch onto them like a leech
I can't settle these internal cravings
To find the one
That latched back on to me
Yet instead I find myself easily disappointed
Tossed aside like a useless piece of trash
My soul searches
To realize my own worth
Yet I measure it
Based on the actions of those around me
How many time
Will I be tossed away and forgot
Left without a second look
My need for acceptance is forever growing
Yet this love for me is shrinking
And the dislike is overgrowing
Jun 16, 2019
Jun 16, 2019 at 12:34 PM UTC