#attachement - Hello Poetry

"We need to talk". These four words turned my gut into a hamster wheel and spun my mind like a dryer full of bricks. My future ex-girlfriend's knock on the door was morse code for “you failed again”. We wielded silence like blades trying to cut away and hoard the few good pieces left of our now failed relationship. But unspoken words are not weapons and vulnerability is not an arms race. When the hammer finally fell, I felt an odd sensation rush through me. I was visited by a seldom-seen yet beloved patron of my brain I hadn’t seen in months. It was visceral relief like I had just scratched an itch on my face I had been fighting off for 6 months. Cognitive dissonance is a subtle thing but it was practically slapping me in the face repeatedly until I was confronted with the realization that I have agency in my own life. They say words create worlds and I have been the architect of my own prison for a long time. Love has been a wound barely concealed, and intimacy is the bandage that I’ve tried to staunch the bleeding with. But I’ve ripped off my own bandaid so many times the wound has never healed. It’s an odd dance the mind does when both craving and simultaneously fearing the very same thing. Like burning down your dream home because you got cold in the middle of the night and wanted to warm your fingers around the burning remains of your best intentions. Every time I say” this one will be different” “I will force myself to be content.” But that works about as well as watering a plant with cheap ***** and wondering why it’s not growing. I've come to terms with my romance delusion. I am self-abandoning myself on an island to merely occupy the space. “I need to find my better half,” I tell myself, but I severed the better half from myself the second I thought I needed someone to complete me.

0

Jan 2, 2021

Jan 2, 2021 at 7:39 PM UTC

Swalker12

Flight Feathers

"We need to talk". These four words turned my gut into a hamster wheel and spun my mind like a dryer full of bricks. My future ex-girlfriend's knock on the door was morse code for “you failed again”. We wielded silence like blades trying to cut away and hoard the few good pieces left of our now failed relationship. But unspoken words are not weapons and vulnerability is not an arms race. When the hammer finally fell, I felt an odd sensation rush through me. I was visited by a seldom-seen yet beloved patron of my brain I hadn’t seen in months. It was visceral relief like I had just scratched an itch on my face I had been fighting off for 6 months. Cognitive dissonance is a subtle thing but it was practically slapping me in the face repeatedly until I was confronted with the realization that I have agency in my own life. They say words create worlds and I have been the architect of my own prison for a long time. Love has been a wound barely concealed, and intimacy is the bandage that I’ve tried to staunch the bleeding with. But I’ve ripped off my own bandaid so many times the wound has never healed. It’s an odd dance the mind does when both craving and simultaneously fearing the very same thing. Like burning down your dream home because you got cold in the middle of the night and wanted to warm your fingers around the burning remains of your best intentions. Every time I say” this one will be different” “I will force myself to be content.” But that works about as well as watering a plant with cheap ***** and wondering why it’s not growing. I've come to terms with my romance delusion. I am self-abandoning myself on an island to merely occupy the space. “I need to find my better half,” I tell myself, but I severed the better half from myself the second I thought I needed someone to complete me.

9

We are bound to the people and things we love before life. Words Of Harfouchism.

0

Oct 26, 2019

Oct 26, 2019 at 9:00 AM UTC

Harleyhucof

Love

We are bound to the people and things we love before life. Words Of Harfouchism.

2

तेरा चेहरा खोया खोयासा देखा सिर्पm एकवार मेरीे तरफ पाउ बढाकर देखो दिलकी सपनोसे भरेहँे रौनक तेरी आखोमे ——२ आइना नही अभी आखोमे मेरी देखो जो कभी संझा नसकाथा तुझको मे माही आज तुम पहेचान लोगी वही मन्जिल तेरा खामोसी अभी कमहे लोगोसेँ मेरे माही सिर्फ एकवार झुपडीमे नजर फिराकर देखो दिलकी दर्दसे भरे हेँ आसु तेरी आखोमे आइना नही अभी आखोमे मेरी देखो जो कभी संझा नसकाथा तुझको मे माही आज तुम पहेचान लोगी वही मन्जिल तेरा चेहेरा उझला उझलासा देखा ——२ सिर्फ एकवार मेरी खातीर गीत गाकर देखो छुपाइ खुबसुरती भरेहेँ रंग तेरी चेहेरोमे ——२ आइना नही अभी आखोमे मेरी देखो जो कभी संझा नसकाथा तुझको मे माही आज तुम पहेचानलोगी वही मन्जिल तेरा शहेर आज सोया सोया देखा ——२ सिर्फ एकवार बाहर घरसे निकलकर देखो झुमेगी दुनीया फिर कङगन पायलकी धुनमे ——२ आइना नही अभी आखोमे मेरी देखो जो कभी संझा नसकाथा तुझको मे माही आज तुम पहेचानलोगी वही मन्जिल

0

Mar 21, 2019

Mar 21, 2019 at 10:20 PM UTC

mystic-ink-plus

जो कभी संझा नसकाथा तुझको

तेरा चेहरा खोया खोयासा देखा सिर्पm एकवार मेरीे तरफ पाउ बढाकर देखो दिलकी सपनोसे भरेहँे रौनक तेरी आखोमे ——२ आइना नही अभी आखोमे मेरी देखो जो कभी संझा नसकाथा तुझको मे माही आज तुम पहेचान लोगी वही मन्जिल तेरा खामोसी अभी कमहे लोगोसेँ मेरे माही सिर्फ एकवार झुपडीमे नजर फिराकर देखो दिलकी दर्दसे भरे हेँ आसु तेरी आखोमे आइना नही अभी आखोमे मेरी देखो जो कभी संझा नसकाथा तुझको मे माही आज तुम पहेचान लोगी वही मन्जिल तेरा चेहेरा उझला उझलासा देखा ——२ सिर्फ एकवार मेरी खातीर गीत गाकर देखो छुपाइ खुबसुरती भरेहेँ रंग तेरी चेहेरोमे ——२ आइना नही अभी आखोमे मेरी देखो जो कभी संझा नसकाथा तुझको मे माही आज तुम पहेचानलोगी वही मन्जिल तेरा शहेर आज सोया सोया देखा ——२ सिर्फ एकवार बाहर घरसे निकलकर देखो झुमेगी दुनीया फिर कङगन पायलकी धुनमे ——२ आइना नही अभी आखोमे मेरी देखो जो कभी संझा नसकाथा तुझको मे माही आज तुम पहेचानलोगी वही मन्जिल

24

there is this thing in your eyes that not even a philosopher can describe

0

Aug 15, 2016

Aug 15, 2016 at 9:37 AM UTC

allerweltskind

‧:❁:‧

there is this thing in your eyes that not even a philosopher can describe

4

And every single day, I'm sitting in the bus, my head against the windowpane. Watching the cars passing by, following the raindrops running down the windows with my eyes. Listening to those beautiful words coming out of my earbuds and the mouths of my favorite artists. My eyes are closed and people might think I'm sleeping, but really, I'm just thinking of everything you said to me and how you looked me in the eyes. I'll try to remember the moments when I felt safe, because they're so rare, remembering is a very special thing to do.

0

Jul 28, 2016

Jul 28, 2016 at 11:38 AM UTC

allerweltskind

Remember

And every single day, I'm sitting in the bus, my head against the windowpane. Watching the cars passing by, following the raindrops running down the windows with my eyes. Listening to those beautiful words coming out of my earbuds and the mouths of my favorite artists. My eyes are closed and people might think I'm sleeping, but really, I'm just thinking of everything you said to me and how you looked me in the eyes. I'll try to remember the moments when I felt safe, because they're so rare, remembering is a very special thing to do.

5

I don't understand this world I felt broken when a friend Became my enemy I don't understand. I felt broken When the love of my life Walked away as if nothing existed I don't understand. People tell me not to get attached To simply let go They find me weird, even weak. I don't understand. I do not understand How people just "let go" Like people are balloons Ready to drift away. I do not understand How people find it normal To not be attached Who do they live for? Am I the only one That feels this way? Do I exist to be alone? Then why do I crave for attachment? I do not understand How such mentality Can be considered normal Rather than sociopathic. I do not understand How a world where Not being attached can be nothing but ****** up.

0

Mar 29, 2015

Mar 29, 2015 at 4:33 PM UTC

fayezb

I don't understand

I don't understand this world I felt broken when a friend Became my enemy I don't understand. I felt broken When the love of my life Walked away as if nothing existed I don't understand. People tell me not to get attached To simply let go They find me weird, even weak. I don't understand. I do not understand How people just "let go" Like people are balloons Ready to drift away. I do not understand How people find it normal To not be attached Who do they live for? Am I the only one That feels this way? Do I exist to be alone? Then why do I crave for attachment? I do not understand How such mentality Can be considered normal Rather than sociopathic. I do not understand How a world where Not being attached can be nothing but ****** up.

32

It's not love that leads to disappointment But rather attachment. -- Eleanor

0

Feb 2, 2015

Feb 2, 2015 at 10:55 PM UTC

EleanorRigby

Disappointment

It's not love that leads to disappointment But rather attachment. -- Eleanor

3