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#assassins
When a detective falls in love, he does not know who to bill for expenses-- everything is up in the air. At a mixer for suspects, he invites me to dance via loudspeaker. Radiant in my white dress, I resemble a snowy owl even down to my carefully bandaged hand which he takes without hesitation. I whisper in his ear: I am Leon Czolgosz. Your heart is the President of the United States of America. We are dancing in Buffalo, city by the Niagara. My detective, of course, falls hard. The next time we meet, I wait for him in the bullpen at the police station. They know him there. They hire cellists. He confesses his deepest fantasy to me: I want to speak words of love to you via telephone with our hands naked and separated only by the safety glass. I want the call recorded and broadcast to wild lovers around the globe. Shortly after, we are married. I wear my favorite bearskin robe. My small black cubs frolic nearby, climbing the pews and then tumbling gaily down again. My detective is resplendent in his tuxedo. The hired band plays Funiculi Funicula. I snarl when my detective gets too close to the cubs, and this inflames him. At last, we lie in bed together, like busy machines come to rest. I am wearing nothing but the revolver-shaped earrings he has given me. My detective wears a felt fedora and a look of smug adoration like a daredevil over the falls in a barrel. I am The Queen of the Mist, suspected in various thieveries, check kiting, and jaywalking. Our love is an aviary where birds wheel above the thundering water like intelligent confetti. Look in your mailbox, I tell my detective. I have left you a valentine and an Easter egg. He asks if, after all, I am his mystery client. I enter a plea of innocent. My love is happy now, laughing.
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Jul 25, 2025
Jul 25, 2025 at 11:15 PM UTC
My Detective
When a detective falls in love, he does not know who to bill for expenses-- everything is up in the air. At a mixer for suspects, he invites me to dance via loudspeaker. Radiant in my white dress, I resemble a snowy owl even down to my carefully bandaged hand which he takes without hesitation. I whisper in his ear: I am Leon Czolgosz. Your heart is the President of the United States of America. We are dancing in Buffalo, city by the Niagara. My detective, of course, falls hard. The next time we meet, I wait for him in the bullpen at the police station. They know him there. They hire cellists. He confesses his deepest fantasy to me: I want to speak words of love to you via telephone with our hands naked and separated only by the safety glass. I want the call recorded and broadcast to wild lovers around the globe. Shortly after, we are married. I wear my favorite bearskin robe. My small black cubs frolic nearby, climbing the pews and then tumbling gaily down again. My detective is resplendent in his tuxedo. The hired band plays Funiculi Funicula. I snarl when my detective gets too close to the cubs, and this inflames him. At last, we lie in bed together, like busy machines come to rest. I am wearing nothing but the revolver-shaped earrings he has given me. My detective wears a felt fedora and a look of smug adoration like a daredevil over the falls in a barrel. I am The Queen of the Mist, suspected in various thieveries, check kiting, and jaywalking. Our love is an aviary where birds wheel above the thundering water like intelligent confetti. Look in your mailbox, I tell my detective. I have left you a valentine and an Easter egg. He asks if, after all, I am his mystery client. I enter a plea of innocent. My love is happy now, laughing.
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They prefer the dark corners in a theatre Places adjacent to a snack bar But close enough to the exit Because killers on strings Always eat on the run They're sown from a different cloth Brains made of the same Course material As flailing arms and legs To form one disturbing pattern They make such good liquidators For their eyes are dead Their heart lifeless and unbeaten Their long fingers perfect For a bit of good-natured strangulation Never mind though We must first tip our hats To those who truly pull the strings Hosting kid puppet shows by day Hiring out cute cuddly fiends after hours
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Mar 12, 2020
Mar 12, 2020 at 10:13 AM UTC
Homicidal Muppets
(Sung to Where Have All the Flowers Gone) Where have all the assassins gone, I'm just asking, Where have all the hit-men gone, It wasn't long ago. Where have all the psychos gone, Ones like Sirhan Sirhan, Or a crazy American, Better still, a red Russian. Where have all the agencies gone, I'm just asking, The MI5, the CIA, KGB, Mossad; Where have covert actions gone, When there's a guys like loonie Kim Jong; A psychopathic American, A dictator with no where to run. Where have all our heroes gone, I'm just asking; Where have all our leaders gone, Not so long ago. Where have all fine Presidents gone, Biden was the last good one; When will we ever learn, Ego-maniacs can't govern.
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Oct 1, 2017
Oct 1, 2017 at 1:01 PM UTC
Where Have All the Assassins Gone
Deadly assassins Hired killers of a Secret cult No words spoken Vows not broken Deadly deeds For a hidden creed The cloaked malice That hides unseen
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Apr 11, 2017
Apr 11, 2017 at 6:14 PM UTC
Assassins
If I was a real world king, The assassin group at my command, Would consist of 13 experts. If there was an assassin's creed, They will carry out my royal orders, All 13 of them along with me. So would be the deadliest group, So would be the perfect killers, So would be the "14 Marksmen".
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Dec 26, 2015
Dec 26, 2015 at 8:02 PM UTC
14 Marksmen
Despicability is the foundation to their life For them it is intrinsic Genetically encoded Simplistic Poetically eroded Reprehensible at best      **Unscrupulously callous      Secrets and facts, they conveniently      ingest      Distorted byproducts, they release to the      masses      To aid their campaign; a forked tongue      fest** Pathetic and unapologetic A beast armed to the teeth Imported bypasses to increase the flow of police A weakness and an act, They so vehemently attest      **Harvesting greens off the branches of      the people      Pockets engorged with wads and folds      Crushing blue collars at the lower levels      As they sit atop their pyramids of gold** Today they sip champagne To celebrate their reign Tonight we'll skip being humane To feed them excruciating pain      **You've incited this coup with ill-thought      deterrents      Now herald the arrival of the scourge      Down with lopsided governments      Tonight... All we would topple! Tonight we purge!** Justin G ryn**
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Feb 24, 2015
Feb 24, 2015 at 11:32 AM UTC
Tonight We Purge! (Featuring ryn)
Amongst the weak. The strong will rise. Bringing our blades of justice. Assassins, All in disguise. We rise together. Along the line of the crowd. Were at the corner of our fate. Destiny will take us all. Blades thrusted forward, Arrows blacken the skies. We charge into battle. We fight for our lives. For Freedom, For honor. JUSTICE. But for whom? I fear not what we face. We will rise together. Assassins for one. AND all. Together we fight, Against the Templars. We may be an Animus, But our hearts are true. Abstergo Destroyed a brother. Or maybe hundreds. Tonight, They die by our swords. Our blades of honor. Will create a world of War. Beware the Assassins, We've Come to **** You will die, Drowning in the seven seas.
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Sep 2, 2014
Sep 2, 2014 at 12:27 PM UTC
Assassins Amongst the Crowd