#asominate
There are holes where my heart should be
There are holes in my brain as well
My body tried to make up for the missing mass
And made some of the remaining parts of my brain swell
Jul 9, 2021
Jul 9, 2021 at 7:56 PM UTC
Read me your words
I am yet to hear them
Knowledge to be absorbed...
Yet of the unknowns,
There's a fear within.
Sep 2, 2020
Sep 2, 2020 at 11:25 AM UTC
Trust was never a option
But were there any options to begin with?
Sep 2, 2020
Sep 2, 2020 at 11:19 AM UTC
A mask of myself
The mask is me
If they think it's just a mask
They won't believe in the me that is real
Sep 2, 2020
Sep 2, 2020 at 11:14 AM UTC
I crave consumption
An urge to purge,
If you will
To cease all function
I want my body to be still
I want my heart to be still
I want my mind to be free
I crave consumption
I want to undo my reality
I crave consumption
An urge to purge,
If you will
To cease all function
I want my body to be still
I want my heart to be still
I want my mind to be at peace
I crave consumption
I want to be decreased
Sep 2, 2020
Sep 2, 2020 at 11:11 AM UTC
Immortality is the lack of dying...
Here's a scary thought:
You'll only die when you stop trying
Sep 2, 2020
Sep 2, 2020 at 10:43 AM UTC
I am so happy right now
I am so searching for a way out
Reality won't stop
I'm kept reminded of everything I'm not
Sep 2, 2020
Sep 2, 2020 at 10:37 AM UTC
An art of misery
A dedication
Possessed by only me
A separation
Of heart and sanity
It's killing me
How much
You love
To make me bleed
Being a slave
I serve to please
Sep 2, 2020
Sep 2, 2020 at 10:35 AM UTC
Blank and blurry
I lose myself
I drown in fury
I made this hell
Can't function as needed
I'm taking it with salt
Your plans haven't succeeded
And it's all my fault
Jun 10, 2020
Jun 10, 2020 at 8:04 AM UTC
Always watching,
Never seen,
Always is
And always been.
Standing by,
We watch worlds collapse.
It's our fault,
Again we relapse
May 31, 2020
May 31, 2020 at 5:13 PM UTC
Talk less
Do more
I'm obsessed
To the core
I detest
The skin I'm in
Then love
Didn't begin
?
May 16, 2020
May 16, 2020 at 2:18 PM UTC
I hear strings snapping
And I'm laughing
At the pain
It has finally happened
I am at this
Point again
The last strands breaking
I am shaking
Under bane
Madness is calling
And I'm falling
To the flames.
May 16, 2020
May 16, 2020 at 2:14 PM UTC
I want to draw a ****** smiley face because it hurts
I want to slam my head against a wall 'til my brain works
You all are speaking through me
It undoes me with no care
It's too late to be saved
I must behave
n o d i s e a s e h e r e
May 16, 2020
May 16, 2020 at 2:09 PM UTC
I'm trying to do nothing
Lest I do something
That I'll regret.
I'm under pain and pressure,
Know not the measure
And it makes you upset.
Maintaining my functions
Lest I malfunction
And blood spills
If you keep pushing me
Eventually
I will.
May 16, 2020
May 16, 2020 at 2:06 PM UTC
Guilty
I point
And three fingers
Pointing back at me
Memories
Not forgotten
Even though I plea
The knives,
They are calling
Yet I still don't bleed
No point in my destruction
Since I cannot feed them
Sharp blades
Evade
My self destruction
Afraid
To pay
For loss of function
Every
New day
Is a new problem
Cut me off
(Save me!)
I'm coming out
I'm caving in
Tell me do you like me now
Let me begin
By burning all the cradles
Uninstall the training wheels
Enstrangement's just a label
And I don't give feels
(I cut me off
I shut you out
I'm caving in
Do you like me now?
Not good enough
I've never been
Disconnection
I'm the alien)
May 14, 2020
May 14, 2020 at 3:08 PM UTC
Existence feels futile
But what are my feelings?
Wearing a mask of a smile
Death is so appealing
Reality's shattered
Shattered in delusions
My life's a confusion
Of mismatched solutions
May 14, 2020
May 14, 2020 at 3:05 PM UTC
Solaris dearest,
Are you awake
I feel like
I'm a mistake
I fear that
I cannot take
It anymore
Andrew, bruh
Are you still alive
You are?
K, well, so am I
My stars,
I can hear the knifes
They're calling my name
Matthew, hi
How's life treating you
Oh my,
The things we go through
Just lies
We wish they were
Wish we didn't feel hurt
May 14, 2020
May 14, 2020 at 3:02 PM UTC
Good luck and good riddance
I hope you find your rhythm
Either you're in or out
Look at who's laughing now
Best wishes, sweet dreams
Hope you'll soon be redeem
You chose out over in
At the crossroads no one wins
May 2, 2020
May 2, 2020 at 4:58 PM UTC
Who needs emotions when there are people to please?
Who needs doctors when you’re the source of the disease?
Who needs human functions to live when you’re deceased?
Who needs love when it’s certain you deserve to bleed?
Who needs?
May 2, 2020
May 2, 2020 at 4:55 PM UTC
Looking at the wall
Something is missing
It doesn't have my brain stains
I am so appalled
How the knife doesn't glisten
With blood straight from my veins
Straight from the source
Of course
Let nature run it's,
Nature run it's,
Nature run this
Simulation
Reality's a lie
A preoccupation
To see me die
Get out
Or die trying
I've fell down
And I'm trying to give myself
The things I deserve
May 2, 2020
May 2, 2020 at 4:50 PM UTC
I promise to give myself the things I deserve
I promise that it's not because of you I hurt me
Deteriorate, I die behind the scenes
You'll come to find that descending madness ain't serene
As I make it seem
It's said a promise is comfort to a fool
So shame on me for believing in you
Very comforting your lies were
Now I'm here questioning my own worth
"It's irrelevant"
I'm usually the skeptic here
But the tables have turned
The roles are reversed
It's your reckoning
I am undone with no care
It's time to let you know
I write in dedication
I am forever grateful
Thanks to your behaviours
Now I am truly able
To hide myself from the world
'Cause all you do is hurt me
I had trust in your word
No surprise you desert me
You're watching from the sidelines
My body bleeds in a trench
As if I'm a sci-fi
Does dealing with reality make your gut wrench?
(Do I make your gut wrench?)
May 2, 2020
May 2, 2020 at 4:48 PM UTC
I crave consumption,
An urge to purge,
To cease all function,
To rid the the world
Of the destruction caused by me.
I crave consumption,
I crave to undo this liability
May 2, 2020
May 2, 2020 at 4:46 PM UTC
It's just another small
Little
Miserable day
For the
Liability
You know you had it coming
Here's some for all your nothing
Small,
Simple,
Incapable mind
Wasting
Everybody's time
Making molehills mountains
You'll never amount to something!
May 2, 2020
May 2, 2020 at 4:45 PM UTC
Every movement
Every twitching
Every bruise and
Every blister
The dark fine line
My blood glistens
In the moonlight
Ain’t it twisted?
Every vision
Black and blue, I’m
Used, abused, Crime
To suicide
Every sharp sur-
Face of the knives
Every blunt hammerhead
That I’ve tried
‘Fore they knew I’m
Painting pictures
Inhumane crimes
Still unwitnessed
Going through, I’m
Thorough, twisted
Me beyond recognition
Ain’t it vicious?
I deserve hurt
I deserve pain
I deserve work
I deserve strain
Self-starvation
Unsatisfactory
Tainted believes
I become feign
May 2, 2020
May 2, 2020 at 4:41 PM UTC