#askme
Sometimes
I cry with smiles
Sometimes
I smile with tears
Please
Ask me first
Lest
You console the happy me
And
Rejoice in my sorrow
Apr 30, 2020
Apr 30, 2020 at 5:36 AM UTC
Trapped in a mindset of fantasy
Cradling beliefs with no foundation in reality.
Alone in a mind of oil
Staining all who brave my touch
Familiar faces soaked in anxiety
They stare with memories I long to forget
These glossy eyes that fear closing... moving.... shifting.... seeing...
Worlds will fall
Perceptions will alter
These words are caught in my throat
Festering
How do I say hello?
How do I keep the conversation going? Are they staring at me because they know I'm not normal. Can they see my disfigured soul hiding beneath this skin?
This deformed skin....
Do they notice that I am an imposter?
Do they see how I react alien to how they do? How I second guess each expression.
Words fall from my eyes without allowance.
The connection isn't there.
I Stare down
I drown them with every glance.
Words falling.
Flooding.
Making oceans of unspoken phrases.
Needs.
They breathe me in.
All the words I've never spoken.
They drown in my illusions.
And run away like mad men.
To a world I cant seem to be a part of.
Trapped in a mindset of fantasy
Oil drowns me, and dilutes my words.
Taking away who I am.
My words are my life.
But I cannot speak them.
No one will ever know.
And I will never tell them.
I am Drowning in illness.
__________________________
Sep 4, 2019
Sep 4, 2019 at 11:56 AM UTC
You make me happy
But sad at the same time
You chose me
Yet you haven't
You chose to be nice
And yet you still cause pain
I want to be in your arms
But I'm scared you'll drop me
I guess these are feelings of love
and yet I think I love you...
May 19, 2014
May 19, 2014 at 1:06 PM UTC