#arranged
Parents arranged my marriage with a girl.
I liked her at first sight—young and chirpy.
And I made up my mind to marry her soon.
In the followup to the marriage,
We interacted with each other,
In the beginning, I liked her.
Soon, courtship turned one-sided,
I was the only one interested,
Insulting me, she started.
She had a problem with quick love.
Berated me for saying it so soon,
She told me to behave mature.
I accepted her remarks,
The criticism of my ways,
I focused on all my means.
I proudly told her that I didn't give up.
The coma-inducing accident, and
Injuries couldn't reduce me.
I told her about how I literally won a war,
A war against time and disability,
The doctors labeled me as 42% challenged.
"But I didn't give up," I told her.
I defeated my disability,
And all of their speculations.
When I passed into that coma,
After the accident, I'd die,
They had speculated.
When they diagnosed me 42%,
I will do some easier work,
They all had guessed.
They wanted me to drop out of college,
Oh, they want me to be humble,
Be humble and accept fate.
Not that the other job is easier,
But they wanted me to set up a shop,
For daily needs, stationery & photocopy.
Even my mother wanted me to drop out.
Leave the B.Tech. Biotech incomplete,
Opt for an easier course instead.
But I told her that I didn't give up,
No, I did not; I did not give up.
I fought my way to the top.
I cleared my B.Tech. degree in Biotechnology,
Not only that degree, but my story continues,
Attained an M.Tech. in Animal Biotechnology.
I initiated a PhD in Animal Biotechnology,
However, I had to quit it due to COVID19,
I lost my opportunity due to the pandemic.
But she, out of her own regret,
Regretted about not being able,
To clear exams, me she insulted.
"People with disability achieve more."
I felt belittled, but she continued,
"They even crack UPSC-CSE."
I'm not disabled since birth.
No, I'm not, I'm not, I told her.
This disability I acquired in 2010.
I told her the same,
But she did not realise it.
How wrong she was.
How she had insulted me and my struggles,
I can't marry her,
The man I am today is after my struggles.
Though she loved my poetry,
The 'Angel?' Saga the most,
But she insulted my history.
She even compared my life against others.
As if she knows all the people like me,
My dreams shattered due to that accident.
No, she knows everyone not,
She doesn't know others who gave up.
Look at me; I didn't give up, but I'm victorious.
But she was not impressed.
She is rigid and argumentative.
Never going to apologise & accept.
I told her mother that I couldn't marry her.
Why? Because she doesn't know humility.
Obviously, she can never respect me either.
She wanted me to respect her.
She thought that only hers matters.
Because I live in the inferiority complex.
Sep 16, 2024
Sep 16, 2024 at 2:23 AM UTC
there was a
lantern
perched in
my hand
and i was
too afraid to
light it
yet the horrors
in the road
wasn't what
terrified me,
it was the destination ahead.
the light i held
sought the
road to
illuminate
and yet
i just know
it wasn't
the road
i was taking
nor could it be
the roads
i will be passing...
it will be the road
i take when
i finally decide
to take a u-turn.
*with one foot down and a weary knee
thinking about
every afternoon
going to the 'right' garage
after strolling in the
wrong neighborhood
staring blankly
at all the cities
all the towns
all the villages
all the blocks
all the intersections
all the streets
in all garages
that could've possibly been 'right'
and one that could've
possibly been home
possibly been hope
i park at the house.*
all i see is a
one
way
street
stretching
forever
in front
of me...
and the ride back home
so far away------
finally
i
found
the
reason
to
light
up
the
way.
Jun 18, 2018
Jun 18, 2018 at 11:21 AM UTC
Walk with me, with calloused feet and weary eyes
Walk with me, through crowded marketplaces
Where they bargain over the price of love
And bodies are sold for a song
Walk with me, dusk is far away still
Our anklets are shackles, our souls a shroud
The market is a sea of sharks today
Their gleaming, moist teeth threaten and lure
Walk with me, my love, my heart, the air in my lungs
Let’s breathe freedom one last time
Where the tinkling laughter of a child is still heard
And the nights are still scented with jasmine
Walk with me, as our prices are fixed
For the sway in our hips, or the curve of our lips
Walk with me, dusk is approaching
And the auctioneer’s hammer is about to fall
Mar 18, 2016
Mar 18, 2016 at 1:23 AM UTC
A stranger in my living room
We've never talked
We may not even be compatible
And do we even share any interests?
Well god knows seeing as we've never seen
Each other before
And now I'm resigned to take him as my husband
My lover, my missing half
My partner for the rest of my life
Sep 18, 2015
Sep 18, 2015 at 2:40 PM UTC
Haunted by a shadow
pressure that fills your body
Scared of Failure
Hunger for success
Long days with short nights
fear of the imperfection
Clustered in the gaps
of the arranged plans
What if they don't fit?
Will they accept me?
They're to big
I'm to small
Just want to be me.
Jan 17, 2015
Jan 17, 2015 at 12:27 AM UTC
She ended up further from the house than she originally planned, but it didn’t bother her.
She need some space.
The walls were too thick. She felt them everywhere she went, those walls. Even out in this field, they surrounded her on each side and stole the air from her lungs.
Did walls have to breathe?
She was used to that feeling. Short of breath, short of life. The problem was, this is the kind of life she had wanted. A marriage to a handsome, wealthy man. He could take care of her, he could provide to her anything and everything. It was everything she had hoped for. That’s what she kept telling herself.
But it wasn’t, and she knew it. She knew it, she knew it, she knew it. But she didn’t dare say. She didn’t dare give even the slightest hint of unhappiness. After all, her parents hand-picked him for her. It was a tough decision, they said, since she had so many suitors. But he was the wealthiest, the most promising.
They promised. And he was.
She would never forget his face, his eyes, and certainly not the way his hands felt,
as one grabbed her shoulder and the other one made contact with her face.
No dancing, he said. He wouldn’t allow it. It didn’t make sense, she thought, for her to sit concealed behind these four walls. All day, she sat, waiting for him to return. She knew not of what he did, not of how he made his money. But it was there, so she remained quiet, what choice did she have really? Submit and be quiet, or feel his hands. And she did not like the feel of his hands.
So today she decided to walk. He told her no, of course, when she asked. It wasn’t acceptable for a lady to walk. What are you going to do? You certainly cannot leave me. You are my property, you know this.
Of course not, she said. These walls, they steal my air.
Ha! He was mocking her. He raises his hand, reaching for her. They won’t be the only things…
She promised him she would stay inside, but after he left, she slipped away. Five minutes of fresh air, she thought, that’s all she needed.
So she walked. She was farther from the house than she had planned, but it didn’t bother her. She needed some space.
But then, the sky grew gray. And she knew, she just knew, that the universe was speaking to her. Get back inside, it said. Hurry, he’s coming back. Go! Now!
She turned and picked up speed. A giant pillow of wind rushed at her. Her body and the wind, like two lovers, dancing. It felt good. No, it felt wonderful. The wind was what she needed.
She stood suspended in that moment, and the wind breathed the air into her lungs that he would later take away.
Apr 15, 2014
Apr 15, 2014 at 3:19 PM UTC