why?

why can't i bring myself to happiness

why do i feel so alone 

like is there something wrong with me

why is it so god **** hard to just eat,sleep,get out of ******* bed!

why do i feel so broken

why do i feel so numb all the time

people say go outside in joy the sun

but when i go outside anxiety and my fears are like a record player in my head

saying all the things that can go wrong

i can't ******* do it 

im tired of the things that go through my mind every god **** moment of my life

like whats worth the fight when you know your going to lose

whats worth living when theres nothing left to live for