#anxeity
With her eyes wide open i see no emotions,
blank stares and heavy breathing
cold hands and shaking body
heart that beats so fast.
A little girl with a towering height
but confidence lower than the ground,
little by little she's breaking apart
and slowly she's losing it now
Shaking, she's always shaking
hearing screams of imperfections in her ears,
then she started stuttering in words could come out
shaking she's always shaking with tears in her eyes.
Thumping her heart is ringing
breathing, it's hard to breathing
spinning the world is spinning
once again her consciousness is fading
Oct 22, 2019
Oct 22, 2019 at 11:00 PM UTC
I'm sorry
Sometimes it feels like thats all i say
I'm sorry for being a mess
And being unstable
Sometimes it feels like i'm sorry is all that i am
Everything i do wrong
My existence hurting everyone
But no more than me
Im sorry
It falls from my lips over and over again
A mantra that i cant stop repeating
Im sorry feels like the only thing
The only thing that can make you stay
I'm sorry
Please don't leave me im trying
I say it over and over
Until it annoys you
And then once or twice more to apologize for that
I'm sorry
That I cant get control
I'm sorry
That all i do is fall apart
I'm sorry
That I hold you back
I'm sorry
That I’m alive
Jul 15, 2019
Jul 15, 2019 at 2:06 PM UTC
When everything you touch
is all gone, turned to dust
where are you supposed to hide
from the monsters deep inside
They chase you in your sleep
you see them instead of sheep
you sleep upon the ashes
of your burned out mind
When every building is just rubble
inside your little bubble
where are you supposed to go
when nothing's left of your home
When every chance you get
you pick out the mistake
but you don't see it
until it is too late
will you fall, or will you run
try to escape your mind
for within your head lying cold and dead
is the body you left behind
Nov 7, 2017
Nov 7, 2017 at 11:10 AM UTC
My ribs were the opening door for many to crawl into my skin
as they gently pushed, at the center of my body.
My ribs would give way as easily as wind chimes to the wind,
but when my ribs dinged against each other, there was no soft melody.
Except the scraping sounds of moving old furniture across wooden floors.
The groans of loves seats too tired to want to live somewhere new,
anxiety of having your counterpart, separated, and living across the room.
Those floating floors dipping to the cement.
Too worn from being walked all over without any care or repair.
The chimes do not stop at the door.
They bounce and echo off cliche yellow stained wall paper,
since the body is not a relict of the 70's but a newer model from the 90's.
When these people sneak on in they want to have a grand tour
wanting to be shown the history,
that lay within the amber bricks edging themselves around the fireplace.
All I can really tell them is that I will show them to their room.
That was only the beginning as they trouble me more and more
asking about every door that we pass, that's boarded up with rusty nails,
briskly I open their door and tell them to feel at home.
I warn them that the power is not so great here,
some times, often, always, it will shut down.
We don't know how long it will take to get back as it's always different.
They tell me, they do not mind all these flaws, as they add character.
I nod and leave them to rearrange their new place to stay.
Eventually this room will share in only being used for the acoustics.
As well as another door I will need to glance pass,
when the next passerby comes to stay.
Mar 5, 2015
Mar 5, 2015 at 3:50 AM UTC
From where I am.
Under the stars.
In the fresh night air.
Buzzing sounds.
Flashing lights.
Sounds drowning.
Worlds twisting.
Amidst the thundering world.
My mind swirls,
and I begin to hurl.
Then everything stops.
No more.
Lips bitten.
Tongue swollen.
Eyes ******
Heart breaking.
Hands shaking.
I begin to go numb.
My view crashes.
Locked onto the ground.
Stuck,
frozen,
crippled,
unable to move.
Only able to think.
Possibly feel,
but too empty.
Blinking,
stuttering,
convulsing.
Save me.
Help me.
Someone.
Screaming.
Opens my eyes.
Closes the door.
Walks back into my room.
Maybe I'll try tomorrow.
Nov 22, 2014
Nov 22, 2014 at 10:15 AM UTC
I became aware of my emotions today,
but it only made me sad.
To think these emotions will never go away.
I choose this path of awareness
because I felt I could be better.
To think that way made the wounds fester.
I check myself to be better.
But I feel the pain, sharp and not so subtle
To think this path would make the pain subside.
I know I can be better
but fighting the inevitable is not enough.
to think I can do this alone make this journey extremely tough.
I have a choice that I thought wasn't mine,
but that choice may turn out just fine.
to think too much is a choice always escapes my mind.
Perhaps mind control will turn out just fine.
Jul 29, 2014
Jul 29, 2014 at 9:20 AM UTC