#anorexiaawareness
your thighs look bigger today
what?
that bit of fat between your armpit and chest is more obvious
who said that?
go on, put your fingers around your wrist and tell me i'm wrong
i do it. i don't know why i listened.
my head hurts now
i'm hearing so many words
so many body based insults
i place my palm to my forehead
there's no one here?
i'm lying on my back
i focus on the tightness in my stomach as i breathe in and out
i grin at the feeling
i sit up
i see her.
there's ana
she's holding a red string
it's connected to every inch of my skin
i'm wrapped in her delusions
i can't reach the scissors
she's got me.
ana talks to me every day
we agree with each other
we understand
we make changes
we -
i -
no.
she.
she's happy
ana is happy because she's drained the red from my body
and as the last thread snaps
i realise shes done it again
she's wrapped my strength in her ropes and made it weak.
Mar 1
Mar 1, 2026 at 5:26 PM UTC
i feel like i'm chasing a body
that i'll never reach
every time i feel like it's in my grasp
it slips through my fingers
hunger pangs is my new normal
skipping meals and snacks
filling up on water
as not to gain weight
losing weight is all i can think about
i never have seemed to love my body
always thinking about how i look
i compare myself to everyone
and i never achieve what they seem
to have so easily
once i lose weight
it always comes back
i can't keep it off
you can tell me thousands of times
that i'm not fat or that i look nice
but your compliments will fall on deaf ears
my body has felt big since a little kid
even when i was malnourished
i saw obesity
i'll never love myself
May 1, 2025
May 1, 2025 at 1:39 PM UTC